I wasn't there when you died.
Though its clear now that it was your time
You were 14 and had dementia, half deaf, and half blind.
Not to mention the arthritis.
Still doesn't hurt any less
I still feel your soft black and white fur
The feeling when you blessed us with a kiss
Your chocolate brown eyes
When you were a puppy
I remember you losing your teeth
Except you didn't have a tooth fairy
I remember you climbing onto the widow seat
I still have that picture.
No idea how you even got up there.
One week before Fudge died,
It was a normal friday for me
I went to work, had a great day.
I came home and wondered where you were.
My mom had put you down and taken Fudge to the vet hospital
December 9th, 2016
I didn't realize that morning was the last time I would see you.
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 3:05 AM UTC
December
2 pm
We drive up to the building
It seems solemn now
We came to see you for the final time
December 15th
2:05 pm
We gather our courage to get out of the car
I open the door
Its heavy
December 15th, 2016
2:10 pm
We're ushered into the room where you are
You try to get up to reassure us
We know you're in pain
Thursday, December 15th, 2016
2:11-2:16
I'm holding you now
I have your favorite stuffed animal
Thursday, December Fifteenth, 2016
At 2:20 pm
The vet tells us to tell him that you are a good boy
"You're the best dog I could have ever had, Fudge. I'll love you forever."
On Thursday, December Fifteenth, Twenty sixteen.
At 2:24 P.M.
You died in my arms.
The happiness and relief you had in your eyes.
You were in so much pain.
I love you. Forever
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 2:53 AM UTC
Within the atmosphere there is a limit,
How high can you fly?
No amount of Magick can keep us apart.
A parting of ways,
Remembering our final days,
I'll find my way back to you.
I know you need to heal,
Discover your true self,
Then return back to me.
By my words of binding,
I promise this to you,
Heed my words,
They are true,
I'll find my way back to you.
We'll be different then,
Hopefully on a plane of Zen,
To you I Promise,
We'll meet each other then.
I can't say it will be easy.
But with time,
It wont be hard.
Heal,
Then come back to me,
A brand new you,
You will be.
I will wait,
However long it may be,
But we will be forever,
I promise our paths will meet again,
They say its a small world,
But we carry each other's heart,
How inevitable it will be.
Heed this promise,
A Binding by me,
We will be in each other's arms soon enough,
Forever we will be.
Oct 4, 2016
Oct 4, 2016 at 11:02 PM UTC
Unfinished- Not completed
Something I wish I had not procrastinated
Procrastination- This project
Sorry, Something pushed off to be finished later
Distraction- Something that takes yo-
Oh wait, is that? No, nevermind.
May 17, 2016
May 17, 2016 at 12:16 PM UTC
I'm sorry I'm so difficult,
I Don't mean to be...
Its just how I am,
I'm sorry I'm so difficult,
It's ok,
I hate it too,
I'm sorry I'm so difficult,
With everything I do
May 11, 2016
May 11, 2016 at 12:11 PM UTC
My love
An old friend
Our dance to the tune of
The happiness of year's end
Silvery pale hair
Haunting grin
Dark stare
Glowing ethereal skin
My gorgeous counterpart
You arrive, nocturnal
You stop the beating of my heart
Your stare is eternal
Gathered in your breath
Whisper to the sweet sounds of Death.
May 6, 2016
May 6, 2016 at 1:20 PM UTC
I love myself, but, I hate myself.
I am as beautiful as an abandoned building.
I am where the forgotten things lie.
I love myself but I hate myself.
I am the eternity that is the universe.
The thoughts inside will not let me die.
I love myself but I hate myself
My brain holds an entire universe
That I use to escape this one.
I love myself but I hate myself,
I had a universe in my hands.
I put mine away for a little while but I couldn't hold onto you.
I hate myself.
My universe that I had created as my salvation wanes.
Why I wish I knew...
The tears come to my eyes but they just won't fall...
Apr 29, 2016
Apr 29, 2016 at 1:41 PM UTC
Somewhere I can write my thoughts,
Here is good I guess,
I talked to my boyfriend today,
Only over Skype though,
He was happy in the beginning of the call,
I was too,
But something changed,
It made Happy untrue,
Throughout the call,
We talked about various things,
Some of those things were quite amorous,
Which made him quite happy,
It was a joke that he had made,
A joke that made me unwell,
It was about a four year old kid,
Who had unknowingly sold their soul to Hell,
I had a father,
He was reminiscent of the Devil,
Who had divorced my mum,
And had cheated on her as well,
From my Four year old self,
To when I was twelve,
I had been groomed you see,
It was at the age of twelve,
When my life went from bad to worse,
Even after my grandfather went away in a hearse,
I had gotten a burn from the sun,
I had a lot of fun,
It was my school's field day you see,
I had forgotten my sunscreen,
I didn't care and I was happy,
All until I went to go stay with my daddy,
He had offered to put aloe on my back,
But it had gone further than that,
He had threatened me,
I knew he would hurt me if I didn't,
I had complied all those years you see,
From four to twelve,
And three weeks after my back had healed from the burn,
The pain never actually went away,
You can numb it,
And that's what I've done,
I've even tried to make myself gone,
But now you see,
Even the thought of an innocent four year old,
It can trigger the deepest of thoughts,
And pull you into a depressed stupor,
So when people tell me,
I have the world in front of me,
And that I should smile,
Should I?
Nov 1, 2014
Nov 1, 2014 at 9:49 PM UTC
Love is when you run to someone that you trust when you're in pieces and they put you back together again.
The one you confide in,
The one you trust with your life.
Not the one you lust for,
Nor the one you cry over.
They are there to wipe away your tears,
To hold you with all your fears.
They create butterflies in the pit of your stomach,
They know how to nurture them to life and create swarms of them.
They know your fears,
Your likes,
Your dislikes.
They know when you're mad or sad.
They know how to talk you down from the ledge.
They don't run in fear when you say something they don't like.
They form to you.
They take care of you in your worst.
Love is when you can't get enough of them.
Not just lust,
But their eyes,
Lips,
Their face.
You want to know every little detail so you can imagine yourself next to them when they are gone.
Love is when you both cuddle together at night and have sore throats from talking all night.
You want to hold their hand while walking alongside them.
You restrain yourself from screaming their name from the rooftops.
Love is when you can both be weird in public and not have a care in the world about who is watching.
Love is when you have no regrets with that person and everything seems to fall apart without them.
Oct 26, 2014
Oct 26, 2014 at 1:32 AM UTC
We must rise
To the occasion
While Angels are weak
And Daemons are strong
We are the Pagans
Don't be fooled
By the Christians
Standing tall
They call us evil
But don't believe
Because they have a grudge
Against the Magicks
Pagans are kind
We really are
But don't be fooled
By the Angel's Scar
We rise
To this occasion
To take back
What is really ours
The Pain we spent
Over the Grimoir deep
To seek the spell
To sing and speak
Our cauldron bubbles
But don't get confused
With those stereotypes
We are nice
We are kind
We worship the sky
With the earth,
The seas,
And the fire
We love
We laugh
We care
We die
We live like you do
Only we believe
In Mother Earth
And take care of her
Just the same
You must do the same
Only different all the ways
Why spread lies
And then you hide
To fear something you not know
Why think
That we are evil
Because you were told
Take your time learning
What you do not know
So you can say evil
But you will learn
We have nothing to hide
We do not take side
We love our god and goddess
We will teach you
In our ways
Then you can say
Who is wrong
Oct 26, 2014
Oct 26, 2014 at 1:28 AM UTC