elipoems - Hello Poetry

i was just a child that never got to be one. and now i am not anymore. i had to grow up too fast and now i am grown up. i like to think i have the answers, i use self reliance as a defense mechanism. being confused or feeling out of control scares me. i have not grieved my childhood. i have not yet fully accepted that it is over and gone, both the good and bad. i do not want to carry it with me, it is much too heavy and i must make room for better things. pain and abuse is all i have ever known. can i stop nursing these old wounds and move away, move on?

0

Jan 21, 2021

Jan 21, 2021 at 12:38 PM UTC

elipoems

childhood trauma

i was just a child that never got to be one. and now i am not anymore. i had to grow up too fast and now i am grown up. i like to think i have the answers, i use self reliance as a defense mechanism. being confused or feeling out of control scares me. i have not grieved my childhood. i have not yet fully accepted that it is over and gone, both the good and bad. i do not want to carry it with me, it is much too heavy and i must make room for better things. pain and abuse is all i have ever known. can i stop nursing these old wounds and move away, move on?

21

Those mild annoyances Are the most sweet. Like cat hair in your coffee cup Cause he just wanted to take a peek.

0

Jan 21, 2021

Jan 21, 2021 at 12:26 PM UTC

elipoems

Untitled

Those mild annoyances Are the most sweet. Like cat hair in your coffee cup Cause he just wanted to take a peek.

4

i sleep in the same bed that you hurt me in every single night. there are reminders of you everywhere i look. usually they fade into the background, but not tonight. leave me alone.

0

Nov 27, 2020

Nov 27, 2020 at 12:19 AM UTC

elipoems

MOH

i sleep in the same bed that you hurt me in every single night. there are reminders of you everywhere i look. usually they fade into the background, but not tonight. leave me alone.

8

how can i convince you i am SICK when my most obvious symptom is streamlined, sleek, SMALL

0

Nov 23, 2020

Nov 23, 2020 at 11:35 PM UTC

elipoems

ANOREXIA

how can i convince you i am SICK when my most obvious symptom is streamlined, sleek, SMALL

4

manipulating my body has always been second nature. i can be bigger or smaller on command. when you look at it this way, disregard the parts which make me ill, from a purely aesthetic angle... anorexia is quite the skill.

0

Nov 12, 2020

Nov 12, 2020 at 6:38 AM UTC

elipoems

logic?

manipulating my body has always been second nature. i can be bigger or smaller on command. when you look at it this way, disregard the parts which make me ill, from a purely aesthetic angle... anorexia is quite the skill.

8

grasp the mirror. the reflection is not me, it is something distorted and ugly. what do i look like? if this is all i see who is in the mirror? that thing must be me.

0

Oct 8, 2020

Oct 8, 2020 at 7:23 PM UTC

elipoems

DYSMORPHIA.

grasp the mirror. the reflection is not me, it is something distorted and ugly. what do i look like? if this is all i see who is in the mirror? that thing must be me.

8

i am the seed you planted. acting as if there’s distance between you and the root, but i know you are a gardener. could you tend to me? could you get rid of the pests you placed in my *** don’t get rid of me too! am i just a **** to you?

0

Oct 8, 2020

Oct 8, 2020 at 7:20 PM UTC

elipoems

my dad is a gardener.

i am the seed you planted. acting as if there’s distance between you and the root, but i know you are a gardener. could you tend to me? could you get rid of the pests you placed in my *** don’t get rid of me too! am i just a **** to you?

10

i have a past of hospital stays and marked up arms and thighs. my biggest wishes at 16: to be skinny and /or die.

0

Sep 30, 2020

Sep 30, 2020 at 4:15 PM UTC

elipoems

sweet 16

i have a past of hospital stays and marked up arms and thighs. my biggest wishes at 16: to be skinny and /or die.

8

i will kiss you then make my way to another boy’s house. i will greet four pairs of lips in two days. every single one of them will feel the same, though each attached to a different name. and when i go home i will feel empty with only myself to blame.

0

Sep 23, 2020

Sep 23, 2020 at 10:12 AM UTC

elipoems

filling.

i will kiss you then make my way to another boy’s house. i will greet four pairs of lips in two days. every single one of them will feel the same, though each attached to a different name. and when i go home i will feel empty with only myself to blame.

7