When did my mind change?
When did I become this senseless, desperate monstrosity?
When did you fall out of love with me?
Nov 25, 2014
Nov 25, 2014 at 5:01 PM UTC
The night we meet
We sat in that field
Sharing cigarettes and stories
I told you of my heart ache
And you listened
The weeks onward
When we fell in love
And we dreamed and we planned
Marry me in Thailand, you said
But I knew, by then, when you were lying
And then away you went
Across the world, to another world
And I was lost
My life became longing and heart ache again
But you were still listening
Still I lost myself further
Drowning in the dark
I listened to another
Taking advantage of my heart
I hurt you, I hurt you
And we met again
Eyes locked together in that foreign city
Walking streets together as if,
As if we were the only two left in this world
You listened and you forgave
Back in our home
We combine our things
Build a nest, build a sanctuary
Where we lived peacefully and lovingly
And then we didn't, not at all
So much has happened in these small two years
My mind is ill, I can't comprehend
Everything is sour, its all such a mess
My heart is still aching
But your not listening
This night we met, my friends and I
Sharing cigarettes and stories
They told me of their heartache
And I realised, I should have really appreciated you
My mind is ill, my mind is ill
Nov 21, 2014
Nov 21, 2014 at 4:06 PM UTC
These words you say
And the others too
They don't mean a thing
They are all so untrue
*I care, I care
I'll always be there
It will all be okay
I promise, one day*
Why waste your breath?
Why tell me this lie?
Just speak your true feelings
And tell me goodbye
******* hell I'm so mad
I hate seeing you sad
And I miss you too
I want to see you*
Its not a competition
I'm just trying to say
The things that you do
They hurt me this way
*I'll try, I'll try
But right now I'm high
I think, I think
**** I need a drink*
He seems so happy
Oh you know him so well?
She's batshit crazy
Oh just go to hell
I don't own the guilt you feel
Each time that I cry
Who even cares?
I want to curl up and die
Nov 21, 2014
Nov 21, 2014 at 5:56 AM UTC
This one is different from before
Yes
This one is empty
This one is angry
This one is dark and sad
But it is not like the others
Is this what its really like to be in love?
I have never felt so much pain for so long
So what were the others?
Because they were definitely not this.
This one is ongoing
This one is hopeful
This one is longing
And I don't even know what I'm saying
But I do know
There will not be an end to this pain
Unless he takes me swimming in the seas of Spain
Nov 20, 2014
Nov 20, 2014 at 3:14 PM UTC
Friends
At least I thought
None of you are who you want to be
Who you say you are to strangers
Its seems the opinion of strangers is what matters most
If it means you will be regarded in this false light
Lets be disingenuous
Lets be in denial
Lets play pretence
With all of our wonderful
Friends
Nov 18, 2014
Nov 18, 2014 at 2:08 PM UTC
It has been a long time
Yet it feels as if yesterday
You awoke from my side
Reluctantly leaving the bed
Gentle pressure placed upon my eyes
Back then I had less reason to hide
But change happens quickly
Empty and lonely we each said goodbye
The in between
Hysteria
Yearning
Anger
Jealousy
Hate
And Love
I still see it in you
I am hopelessly hopeful that you see it too
Nov 12, 2014
Nov 12, 2014 at 3:34 AM UTC
I have been absent
I have been used
Abused
Left for food
Scraps on the floor of ones mind
That piece together to make a once smiling face
Now distorted with shame and hysteria
For those unknowing to stare, to judge
Today I learnt that I am strong
Today I saw the love you're trying to deny
and with your presence, changed but yet there
I will bet that son of a ***** that tore me in two
that stole me from you
and never let me forget
Jun 29, 2014
Jun 29, 2014 at 7:43 AM UTC
Over the edge,
into the deep, cold waters.
My ocean.
Is it possible for you to sit aside me?
Contained and afloat.
Or, if you please, you may swim
Hold my hand.
And let it be, for just awhile.
Dec 14, 2013
Dec 14, 2013 at 8:02 AM UTC
O! Laugh loved one, for we are not lost
Though eyes are shrouded, our hands we still hold
Sep 13, 2013
Sep 13, 2013 at 1:18 AM UTC