I knew the kisses weren't for me but they were for her lips
The "I love you" was supposed to be heard by her ears and not mine
When you held me, you saw her instead of me
Because you didn't love me
You didn't want me
But I was the "BEST" second choice
I'm sorry that I wasn't her
That you weren't in love with me
That I am in love with you
I'm sorry
Dec 29, 2018
Dec 29, 2018 at 3:15 AM UTC
"goodbye"
you whisper goodbye
the words quite could not come out
all they hear was your breath blowing in their soft ear
"goodbye"
you whispered again
saying them words
is like a mouth full of poison
it's killing you as you speak
such bitter-sweet don't you think
your mouth was numb
you could no longer speak
"g-g-goodbye"
you stutter
not wanting it to be your last
it's so repulsive yes I know
saying those words then letting go
Jan 29, 2018
Jan 29, 2018 at 4:02 PM UTC
I don't want to fall in love
Not with you
Not with anyone
It doesn't matter how much **** you say to me
About how much you love me which is a ******* lie
Or how much you need me which you don't
It doesn't matter and it never will
sigh
I don't want to be hurt anymore
I'm tired of going to sleep with tears on pillows
Pain in my heart
You on my mind
I'm tired of all this ********
That you so kindly give me
I'm tired of love
But guess what.......
crying
I'm in love with you.......
Jan 29, 2018
Jan 29, 2018 at 3:58 PM UTC
Why I Always Carry Tissues
To My Children:
I'm laughing at myself,
As I am prone to do because
Why I Always Carry Tissues
Is the title of a poem
I write for you.
There is a story here,
Of parenting, and responsibilties
That transcends yourself, defines me,
Vis-a-vis you,
then and there, and maybe now.
When you were small,
I took you by the hand,
The cement canyons, trails & rivers
of West Eighty Six Street,
Together, we would ford.
Periodically, as Fathers are prone to do,
Your hand, from my hand,
I would release
So you could fall down,
All on your own.
It bemused me that I could see
Three or four paces ahead of thee
Exactly which crack,
Upon which you would trip,
And come crying back to me.
Back-to-me.
That was then.
And now,
Yes, no more,
Back-to-me.
But I always had tissues
to dry your eyes
And no surprise,
I still do,
Always will.
These days, they,
more likely used to dry mine,
As I have forded that Styxy river,
When crossed, you spend more of the day,
Liking Back more,
Then looking ahead.
No matter, by right and tradition,
It is still my mission, that
when you need, when you bleed,
as I know you surely shall,
These pocket tissues will be there
Ready, willing and able, fully capable,
of snatching away your tears.
**When you need,
When you bleed,
And you surely shall,
These pockets of mine,
Of tissue made,
Are waiting for your tears,
And you, to fill them,
For without them,
Their raison d'etre is unfulfilled.**
These used tissues are my history book,
Re the art of loving, and the arch-i-texture of life,
Of tears and hearts,
And concrete spills,
That need knees to be complete.
That is why you will find me, without fail,
Ready, willing and able, holding my
White Badge of Courage at the ready,
Waiting patiently, for my mission to be redeemed,
Missions known as parenting schemes.
The scheme is clear, even if
my tissues you no longer request,
You will let your own babies
fall n' fail, then take their tears
Put them in your pocket,
keep them forever wet,
Like my memories of you
the ones I cherish best...
Perhaps a tradition
We will start,
Unsightly bulges in our pocket rear,
Where we will store our packet of saver-saviors
Removers of our dear one's fears.
If we are truly wise
Those tissued memories
We will keep,
Die among them contented,
Knee-scraped deep
When tears fall...
2008
Sep 13, 2017
Sep 13, 2017 at 3:09 PM UTC
I can't breathe
gasp
I feel the water fill my lungs
panicking
I can't see anything around me
Searching
It's overwhelming me
screams
It's surrounding me
breathes in
I hit my back on something
opens eyes
Something soft
breathes slowly
I'm okay
smiles lightly
It was only a dream
Sep 13, 2017
Sep 13, 2017 at 9:30 AM UTC
Remember when you said people lose people.
Yeah........
Well..... I'm ready to lose you.
Ok... I'm not holding you back.
Alright.
Then goodbye........
( I wish you could see my face when you sent me that message. I wish you could see me die when I realized you were right. We weren't meant to be and we were holding on to something that will never happen. It was just a hope, a beg. It was just a dream.......)
Sep 12, 2017
Sep 12, 2017 at 10:23 AM UTC
you are my new york.
i long to rest within your skyscraper heart
but the stairs are too difficult to climb.
yearning
and distant
and nonetheless unattainable.
an enigma,
a dream,
a space within my concrete chest
flooded with sparkling sewer water.
you are too much,
and i am too little.
you veins pulse with light
but i don't know how much longer
i can pay the electric bill.
i can't get close without changing.
i cannot float down the river
swim through your chest
and end up sitting on the sidewalk.
i try and i look up
but at the top of your skyscraper heart,
i am in a cloud
and i cannot see the ground
nor feel the pulse of headlights and movement.
we are unrealistic.
my arms outstretched
but in vain
i cannot be what you need.
millions live within you,
and i am one.
Mar 16, 2017
Mar 16, 2017 at 12:33 PM UTC
Me
I was blue
He
He was red
Us
We were lilac
Love
It turned gray
Pain
turned clear
His heart
turned black
Mine
turned white with speckles of red
Memories turned clear and invisible
That was the colors of our love
Mar 16, 2017
Mar 16, 2017 at 12:32 PM UTC
I am not the girl
Who the boys
Buy flowers to
Or love endlessly
I am not the girl
Who the girls
Want to be
Or be with
I am the girl
Who writes sad
Poems and listens
To music late a.m.
Feb 21, 2017
Feb 21, 2017 at 9:19 AM UTC
The air around me is getting thicker
So thick, that you could see it like fog
The sun is getting colder
So cold, that is feels like winter
The ground underneath me is disappearing
So quickly, that I might fall back
Everything is vanishing
So fast, that...... well you can't explain what it feels like when you get forgotten.
Feb 17, 2017
Feb 17, 2017 at 9:32 AM UTC