I let different boys touch me
Because I wanted to know
Even for a second
What it felt like to be loved
Even if the love was cheap
And it tasted like ***
Like the punchline to a joke
I never got because it was me
I let different boys have different parts of me
Parts they didn't deserve
But I offered up willingly because I couldn't give anything else
after you broke me
I was looking for different fingers
to place different pieces and hoping the outcome
would be a masterpiece
Maybe one of them would find a way
to cover up the handprints you left all over me
I let different boys touch me because I had to prove to myself
you wouldn't be the only one
that these scars marking my body wouldn't define
my worth to be loved
I am not entirely sure
you aren't the only one who could ever touch me without slightly flinching
I let different boys touch me because that is all I have been taught
To be a joke
To be silent
To be ready to give until you have nothing left
- they keep leaving me and I am to scared to offer up anything more than my body to get them to stay
Nov 13, 2018
Nov 13, 2018 at 6:25 PM UTC
in loving memory of me
to the person who I use to be
getting lost with you
made me who I am now
you may not like the person I’ve become
but I promise
from now until my next life
i will walk with you until the end.
the end
the end of time.
the end of life.
the end of forever
every step, every Breath.
BREATHE
my love I am not leaving.
so hold my hand
squeeze it tightly,
gently.
left. you left.
you’re gone not coming back
this love of ours didn’t last
but I’m here.
stay.
one finale breath
one last tear,
drop
falling to the kitchen floor
trying to keep it all together
i promised my life who I was
everything I am to you. you are gone
you’ve taken the old me
and held that against me
for I am not who I was when I was with you
I was naive and madly in love with you
love is truely blind.
An ode to me, the person who I use to be.
Jul 1, 2018
Jul 1, 2018 at 11:24 PM UTC
there are galaxies inside my eyes
universes of us
let me write us into existence
let us be forever
let me feel our souls collide
Jun 26, 2018
Jun 26, 2018 at 2:55 AM UTC
Hearing his name destroys me
He doesn’t think about me
The sound of my voice
The kiss of my lips
He said my eyes were the most beautiful thing
He probably forgot the colour
Or the way they sparkle when I look at him
He use to send paragraphs about how much he loved me
Now the only thing he says is that he hates me and that I’ve changed
I’ve changed because I gave all of me to you, and now that you’re gone
I don’t know who I am.
Hearing his name destroys me
Jun 24, 2018
Jun 24, 2018 at 2:41 AM UTC
i felt your presense again last night
i felt it in the dim light
our hands were carved for eachothers fit
like two stars colliding, meant to be
universes came to being with the touch of our lips
and the way you held my hips
your celestial smile and deep green eyes
hold a place in my heart
under this dim, lifeless light
Jun 10, 2018
Jun 10, 2018 at 10:16 PM UTC
this cold morning
I woke up this morning in a panic,
still half asleep I felt your presence and reached for your hand to then realise I was still dreaming,
when my hand touched nothing but the empty cold space on my bed,
my heart tore into a million pieces, there is no warmth left in me,
nothing but emptiness and coldness from the shallow pit of this body
that will never feel a flame again
Jun 5, 2018
Jun 5, 2018 at 5:12 AM UTC
ego is one hell of a drug
but so is love
losing my home, my safe place
made me strong, made me think
...
if home was a person
was i ever safe?
for you are my favorite face
but no longer my safe place
Ego is one hell of a drug
...
but so was your love
May 24, 2018
May 24, 2018 at 3:51 AM UTC
dancing on my tippy toes,
staying silent
never smiling
crystal tears
broken hearts
dancing on my tippy toes
i can not speak, my voice is lost
i can not smile, its wiped away
i always cry, why do i always cry?
this love broke my heart
dancing on my tippy toes
because the shatterd glass all spead out
on the cold, tiled floor
dancing on my tippy toes
who knows?
getting pricked, poked and impaled by the glass,
downing whats in my flask
its just my way to mask
whats left of my broken heart
May 22, 2018
May 22, 2018 at 10:30 PM UTC
You are my everything...
he filled my life with excitement,
he was wonderful.
sensational.
breathtaking.
But he is a wonderful fire in my lungs, and he won't stop burning until he's killed me
I swore forever with him
he is my sweetest pain, I am addicted to the pain, to the thought of loving him
have you ever been burned? the type of burn that make you lay awake at night making you feel everything and nothing all at once, the burn that makes you love and hate yourself
He is perfection to me, but he will burn me away until I am nothing but pieces of ash floating in the air waiting to be put back together
but I never will if I keep turing back to the flame
i need to let go of the dead rose, for his thorns will only cut me deeper.
I need to let go of my sweetest addiction, my sweet pain,
You.
May 14, 2018
May 14, 2018 at 5:31 AM UTC