Layers
peeled back
everyone's wearing
so many layers.
Under my thin thin skin
the words I haven't spoken
the thoughts I haven't registered yet
beating right inside my chest
the dirt I let in you can't see
the lines, scars, burns, cuts
wounds make up me
wounds made of me
angry, welting, scorched
fade to cool pale shapes in my soul
j'ai faim, j'ai faim
mais je n'ai pas vui
la nourritures pour ma vie
for my soul
I can't see breathe feel think move bleed love hurt
all I can do is be.
But I can't even do that.
I can barely speak.
So I write.
Sep 5, 2013
Sep 5, 2013 at 7:13 AM UTC
Careful breaths
methodical
wing-like
caress my cheek
crawl down my neck
inch and slide
down the small of my back
encase me
imprison me
embody me
preserved
I’m frozen
stuck. Stopped.
Mesmerized, shimmering and numb.
Something so fluid
so graceful, alive
the words, the whisper
twines, weaves, vines, snakes
taking her to the grave
to the higher place
lifted with an unknown destination
yet buried, swallowed
she's been taken
claimed
the breaths will never stop.
Wings that forever beat.
Dewy,
a cage of bones and a thing of beauty.
Sep 5, 2013
Sep 5, 2013 at 7:00 AM UTC
i used to be broken
i was dying in side
and now the roaring silence
that once cut me so deep
burning through the layers of my soul
silently writhing under my skin
has faded to a soft echo
a ringing in my ears once in awhile
a scar.
Jul 11, 2012
Jul 11, 2012 at 2:42 AM UTC
I am a strange girl.
sometimes i love everything, everyone.
sometimes i hate all possible things in the world to hate.
sometimes i wish i was someone else.
sometimes i love myself more than any other.
sometimes i hate every shred of sole being in my body more than i want to imagine.
sometimes i love everything i think, do, say.
sometimes everything is wrong with me.
sometimes everything is wrong with everyone else.
sometimes i understand everyones brains, know what they think and how they feel.
sometimes i dont understand anything or anyone at all.
i live in a world of my own, with everyone else in it.
Apr 30, 2012
Apr 30, 2012 at 9:35 PM UTC
I'm sitting here
and thinking
I'm ******* tired
of love.
Mar 25, 2012
Mar 25, 2012 at 2:58 PM UTC
please, if you do anything
dont leave
dont leave
just stay. with me
an absence of you makes echoing
chasms in my chest
heart in the marsh, empty cavity
when i feel the hollow
in my bed
the cold spot where you aren’t
i want need miss you so hard
i can taste it
i could breathe it
i could cry it
if only salty oceans
would bring me back to you, you back to me
when you’re not here
my own voice bounces around in my head
reverberates off the walls of my ribs
eternal.
Jan 31, 2012
Jan 31, 2012 at 6:01 AM UTC
always i whisper
into your ear
my sweet thoughts
masking my fear
i pour my soul
into your mind
you, the puzzle piece
impossible to find
i breathe a mist
inside your brain
on the other side
they slip out again.
goodbye.
Jan 27, 2012
Jan 27, 2012 at 2:36 AM UTC
The words are there
coins
weighing down my tongue
Birds, humming
fluttering behind my jugular
frantic trapped
choking for air,
mine.
Awkwardly large
in my mouth
my tongue fumbling
words stuck in my teeth
leftover, but not the right ones
I spit them out
acid, venom
sizzling holes through the fabric
of the silence between
us
All I can say is
why the ****
is all of this
so
difficult?
(cool, pale night)
the right ones come later
paper thin, delicate
bleeding ink printed on dissolving rice paper
slicing my tongue
my mouth full of tears
they wanted to speak.
their salt coats my tongue,
not yours.
Jan 25, 2012
Jan 25, 2012 at 12:48 AM UTC
At this point. Right now
I can’t figure out if I’m falling apart
or holding myself together
or just wishing for something else.
Jan 20, 2012
Jan 20, 2012 at 7:15 AM UTC
The air is saturated with the light aroma of vanilla
and a tinge of red wine
The last notes of “Happy Birthday” hang in the air
each sung in a different tone by the drunken relatives surrounding me
creating a wave of crashing chords, a clashing medley that somehow fits
I grip the table i am sitting in front of
feeling the cool glass surface, almost shatterable but not quite
and the chair legs beneath me that i wrap my feet around
and the candles are lit. they glow like stars set right in front of my eyes
i could almost hold it in its perfection, it does not seem like it would hurt
to cup that flame in the palm of my hand
to spin the stars from my fingertips
they scream “Make a wish!”
my eyes squeeze shut
my breath locked in
so tightly i feel a balloon will burst inside me at any moment
and in one motion i let it whisper out
The candles extinguish
the gray smoke lingering heavy in the air
this moment i could hold forever
the pure bliss of wishes being wished
suspended forever, hanging around me.
and then its gone.
Jan 20, 2012
Jan 20, 2012 at 7:09 AM UTC