spinning ball, little ball
in this chest of mine
it turns 'round with me
we come rolling past the bend
i have no need for a heart that beats
when here is my ball friend
again and again
around and around
i don't need to think
as long as it keeps going
can't see the forest nor do i the trees
just the seeds we must keep sowing
sometimes the ball is squeezing
so tight i'm going numb
smaller 'til i think it can't anymore
and then it shrinks some
other times it grows so fast,
i can't keep track of it
it feels as if it's bursting soon
in my chest it can no more fit
my ball is soft; my ball is firm
my ball is heavy; my ball is light
since my ball keeps on bouncing
i can't give up the fight
we dance and duel
this ball and me
something i cannot drop
cause if i did
i'd be alone
and my being would surely stop
Apr 18, 2022
Apr 18, 2022 at 7:21 PM UTC
take it from me
take my lungs and my teeth,
just like you steal my breath
and my words, leaving me mute
take my blood and heart beats
they're laid out for you
i wear it on my sleeve
take my feet and my knees
i've nowhere to go and no more to beg
beyond this final please
take my left and my right hand
they're yours for you to hold, just
promise me a hug. i'll probably get cold
take my brain and my spine
you're all that's on my mind
i get chills when you are near to me
take it from me
it's for the best we do
my body is hopelessly in love
it's always about you
Feb 16, 2022
Feb 16, 2022 at 3:39 PM UTC
teardrops
heart drops
feelings won't stop
dripping by with ticks of the clock
the fears
nothing hears
wish it was more clear
ugly crying makes my sight blear
i seize
the breeze
blow life my way please
gripping breaths to put me at ease
we hate
the wait
could i change my fate
they think it might be too late
the burn
i learn
loving is an area of concern
too hot to touch, in time i still can't discern
hot and cold
day then night
soaking me to the bone
and the next moment dry
i think about all these things
letting the day pass me by
Feb 16, 2022
Feb 16, 2022 at 3:20 PM UTC
how could you be so cruel baby?
you took what you wanted and you've got it still
i don't even like you like that
but there's a barbed wire grip on me now
the tighter i pull the more it bleeds but yet i will
again and again the pages i write
practically a novel the story of my life
i told you before and i was telling the truth
and the chapters the passed with all my days
are all the same, the same dull story of strife
the pain you shared with me was all a lie
words dripped slow like honey, minutes passing by
same bittersweet honey that's filling me now, filling up each pore
when i realize it wasn't a fabrication, your story just as mine
except you write your happy endings, and all I can do is cry
i wish i was ready for you to make your move
a battle of heart, the prize a little piece of soul
you know you're not the first to checkmate
and the queen must protects the king
sacrifice leaves me angry just as it leaves a hole
it would be easier if you were a lover
by now i expect the familiar sting
we bared our cores, made even the score
but a friend who told me it was us vs them
should give love, not the backstab you had to bring
was that my only chance at a friend?
you ****** my hope dry i can't help but think maybe
you made a home in head, can't you see you're uninvited?
i euthanize each question quick but one still remains
how could you be so cruel baby?
Feb 7, 2022
Feb 7, 2022 at 4:46 PM UTC
Lay in bed
Close my eyes
Hope the static
Behind them dies
Dream Dream Dream Dream Dream
Weigh me down
But I still float
Don't think too hard
Or I might choke
Dream Dream Dream Dream Dream
Soft and warm
Yet can't relax
Get up once more
I need a snack
Dream Dream Dream Dream Dream
Get back in bed
I lost my spot
Took 15 tries
To get how I got
Dream Dream Dream Dream Dream
Have happy thoughts
Ignore regret
They don't remember
What I said
Dream Dream Dream Dream Dream
Forgot the light
Another arc
I'm still afraid
of the dark
Dream Dream Dream Dream Dream
Now back in sheets
It all is set
My buzzing phone
Another threat
Dream Dream Dream Dream Dream
Non-stop scroll
Now check the time
It's half past 2
Such a crime
Dream Dream Dream Dream Dream
Peace and quiet
That's what I need
"Please shut up!"
But mind won't heed
Dream Dream Dream Dream Dream
It's almost dawn
I must complain
So much exhaustion
And endless refrain
Dream Dream Dream Dream Dream
I should get up
No longer steep
Alarm rings but
I'm fast--
Feb 3, 2021
Feb 3, 2021 at 8:45 AM UTC
Why am I sad?
I don't know
Do I have to feel bad?
I don't know
Will it ever stop?
I don't know
How can tears continue to drop?
I don't know
What will happen if I wish?
I don't know
Can I take what I dish?
I don't know
Could I dream it all away?
I don't know
Should I run or instead stay?
I don't know
Is it empty inside?
I don't know
Might it leak outside?
I don't know
Is it what I deserve?
I don't know
Does anyone observe?
I don't know
Why won't the memories fade?
I don't know
Can't it change if I prayed?
I don't know
Is the silence maddening?
I don't know
Or is it rather saddening?
I don't know
Am I a captive?
I don't know
Are my thoughts maldaptive?
I don't know
Does time truly never pause?
I don't know
Is my destiny in it's jaws?
I don't know
Is it really really real?
I don't know
Is it a tape I can reel?
I don't know
Will the sun always rise?
I don't know
Is Tomorrow a curse or a prize?
I don't know
Does the cycle always repeat?
I don't know
Does my heart keep missing a beat?
I don't know
Is goodbye what he meant?
I don't know
Why won't he lament?
I don't know
Is it 2 already?
I don't know
Shouldn't my breathing be steady?
I don't know
How could the end be in sight?
I don't know
Can the dark exist without light?
I don't know
Aren't I better off dead?
I don't know
I swore that's what you said?
I don't know
When will the story come to close?
I don't know
How much will it expose?
I don't know
Will I ever know?
Will I ever know?
Wait and see.
Feb 3, 2021
Feb 3, 2021 at 8:06 AM UTC
i wish the words would just come out
or when they do they wouldnt go south
i wish everyone wasnt so focused on my mouth
i wish i did but, i don't know the route
i don't know
i dont know where to go
or who to be
or when to flee
or what to see
in you, or me, or we
the my view is stuck on one sight
doesnt matter the circumstance, always black or white
always good or bad, always wrong or right
bathing in darkness or blinded by light
the choices i make weigh
oh how they weigh
on my heart,
my mind,
my life, and
my soul
Oct 29, 2020
Oct 29, 2020 at 9:51 AM UTC
I'm just floating through space
And I just can't replace
The feeling that I get when I'm with you
I sigh and close my eyes
No matter what I try
My heart cannot deny my love is true
Yes we're miles apart
But honey, we see the same stars
Why you love me, I haven't a clue
I figure we're meant to be
Even though its hard to see
My feelings, you already knew
I love you
And so I'll sing your song
My words just can't be wrong
The passion we feel they can't subdue
It's best I come clean,
You're the best boy I've ever seen!
You'll get what I mean...
You always do.
Jan 23, 2019
Jan 23, 2019 at 2:14 PM UTC
I don't know if anyone would understand if I told them how I feel,
A clear explanation is something I long to have.
I'm hardly ever honest, especially with myself,
But I realized there is one I could anyways be honest with.
One who accepts my lies and my truth, whichever I wish to share.
One who has no expectations other than that I be myself.
One who indulges in my vices and virtues.
One who has known me all these years.
One who is there when the tears fall,
One who is there when my lips stretch into a smile.
One who is warm comfort in the frigid night,
One who soothes my burning rage with a cool kiss.
One who connects me with millions holding but a pen,
So that I never feel truly alone.
One who captures my thoughts when they slip through my fingers.
One who treasures every syllable in every word, and sentence, and line.
One who takes many forms, but in all of them is there for me.
One who treasures the power of the tongue,
Yet the only one who heard my cries when they fell silent on human ears.
One who harbors the weakness to express my emotions,
When I can't find the strength to say a word.
This is the one who is a savior to my tender heart.
Her name is Poetry.
Sep 24, 2018
Sep 24, 2018 at 12:07 AM UTC
to lose all my senses
is just so typically me
oops, you did it again
playing with my heart
wondering why you've done this
always from the start
you know i'm in love
i think you're sent from above
but you're not that innocent, are you?
are you really serious?
my problem is this:
i'm foolish in all the ways
and i cry during my days
wishing so many different things
all that happened,
if only i could press repeat
you know,
things just don't sit
well
and in the end, it doesn't matter
'cause, oops, you did it again
and you'll do it again
and again
making sure
i'm lost in the game
i fear you'll forget my name
and things will stay the same
Sep 12, 2018
Sep 12, 2018 at 9:25 AM UTC