she was everywhere at once
nowhere at the same time
she was invisible to all
at home reminded of her mistakes
at school huge disgrace
she had no friends
she wasn't able to make amends
her life consisted pain
she wants to leave but she knows things might get better
but it's now or never
the pills or rope?
either way everyone will think it was a joke
Oct 22, 2015
Oct 22, 2015 at 9:36 PM UTC
you said i was distant
you wouldn't stop asking without persistence
i told you what was wrong
and about how it's gone on for so long
you admitted your mistakes
and told me it was going to be ok
i knew that wasn't going to be the case
Oct 8, 2015
Oct 8, 2015 at 9:49 PM UTC
I want to die
and theres no where for me to hide
my family hates me
their biggest wish would have to be to erase me
i no longer have any friends
i couldn't have predicted that this would be the way for everything to end
one ******* mistake
another chance i didn't take
i'm left here drowning
without any frowning
i've been fighting alone
now there's simply nowhere left for me to go
Aug 10, 2015
Aug 10, 2015 at 2:32 PM UTC
eating myself to the point of being sick, just to do it again the next day
having the emotions bottle up to the point of explosions all over my body
staying up until 3 am and crying in the shower
looking at other's profile's and comparing myself to those with stuff i will never be able to have
having your "best" be considered another's failure
locking yourself in the washroom stall, because the anxiety and fear of being alone overwhelms you
needing to get high once a week to be able to feel normal again
to have days where getting out of bed isn't even an option
you just don't know what it feels like
Jul 18, 2015
Jul 18, 2015 at 11:38 PM UTC
it's not something i've did or done
i became it
the mistake is me
you may ask "what do you mean?"
i am a sickly flawed being
who's creation is regretted undoubtedly
told day in and day out
"you are nothing", you see
even if i didn't do anything wrong
the mistake is me
the way i look, laugh, love
none of it is right
and i just want to blur the lines
so that i could be somebody else
it just too painful
knowing because of me being a mistake
there's no one else to blame
Jul 17, 2015
Jul 17, 2015 at 10:40 PM UTC
you told me you didn't give a **** about anything
i thought it was ok, good enough that you let me (in)
you told me you were beginning to feel sad
i noticed and decided that's why you were acting so bad
you told me you loved me
i was left wondering why you shoved me
you told me i wasn't enough
i believed you and decided, i deserved to be treated so rough
you told me you didn't need me
at this point i was stuck on trying to read (you)
when you told me you didn't give a **** about anything
i should have listened
Jul 14, 2015
Jul 14, 2015 at 10:23 AM UTC
is it the way i lied, when i said i wished you'd die
is it the way i steal, just to feel
is it the way i cry, and have no idea why
is it the way i hide, when i'm supposed to confide (in you)
which one is it?
Jul 14, 2015
Jul 14, 2015 at 10:04 AM UTC
she doesn't talk about
how her dad left
immediately after finding out
about her existence
she doesn't talk about
how her mom ignored
the not so straight lines on her wrists
how she was never confronted
about self harming
why she's so loud
what she doesn't like
and does like
the bottle under her bed
why her curtains are always drawn
so close together
almost as tight as her throat constricts
when she's looked at
how her day's been
she doesn't talk about all that
because she's never asked.
Jul 13, 2015
Jul 13, 2015 at 11:44 AM UTC
I wanted to tell you for quite some time
not everything had been fine
it’s been awhile since we last spoke
when you read this i really hope you don’t choke
it’s been like this for years
always full to the brink with tears
how would i have ever been able to tell you
every month i get chills
when i come home and see the pile of unpaid bills
always wondering if there would be enough to eat
when there was never any money, i couldn’t sleep
how would i have ever been able to tell you
whenever i was with you i felt safe
somehow you were able to open the gate (that is me)
when nobody else had bothered to look for the key
how would i have ever been able to tell you
that i’ve been really sick
my mind had been playing tricks
i tell myself i’m ugly and fat
i already know you would have said “please don’t believe that”
how would i have ever been able to tell you
when my brother would get angry he would punch me
i typically would lunge (on the floor to avoid it)
how would i have ever been able to tell you
my mother tells me i am unwanted
when i try to get help i get taunted
always wondering if would get a proposition
to get out of this position
but tonight i’ve had enough
of teachers telling me “you are dumb”
i’m sick and tired of walking around like and idiot
and i know i’m about to do something hideous
and if you were still there, you could have shown me that you cared
but i’ve really had my fair share (of this world)
goodbye
Jul 13, 2015
Jul 13, 2015 at 9:49 AM UTC
i hate you both
dad to me your nothing but a ghost
mom ever since i was 13 i've been crying myself to sleep
you have not once payed attention to me, never even heard me weep
all you've ever noticed are my ***** up
and i know at times i could be corrupt
over and over
reminded my about my failing grades,
which led me to begin bringing out my blade
when i told you (mom) i was depressed
you laughed at me, and said you don't even know anything about stress, how could you be depressed?
and dad what on earth happened to you
you always seem to go insane
never bothering to call
always leave me wondering where you are
you're always sick because of your daily "one too many drinks"
i used to get disappointed
but now i've learned to expect nothing less of you
Jul 12, 2015
Jul 12, 2015 at 5:46 PM UTC