it was too early to let go,
but was the sky—a hodgepodge of red, orange, and blue—
weeping for our permanent parting?
we were drowned in a swathe of starlight black
as if the moonlight cloaked us with invisible fabric?
we were there, i knew, but even my loudest shouts
was no match for your indifference.
our eyes, untrammeled even by the tempestuous winds,
gazing like rapiers through skin,
only vacillated by my innermost deluge.
in the nightfall, i see you outshining the sun,
but what am i then, a rock, a moon in the morning sky?
your gaze, resolute and unfaltering,
like a soldier facing a barrage of mercenaries.
i reach for you in my haze of thoughts,
only to be impeded by my wistful diffidence.
the mere thought of you electrify me—
a robot begging for every inch of shock.
you are my ardor through which my soul is replete,
a sharp pang as i wake up from my nocturnal reverie.
i am a monolith weathered by the voyage of time,
and in my days, crumble into specks of dust.
i'll get to you soon, however far it may be—
the earth, the sun—just as you breathe me in,
and only then will i truly leave.
Sep 30, 2018
Sep 30, 2018 at 10:32 AM UTC
there, it pierced my skin.
blood gushes out like fireworks in the night sky.
the pain gave me the life i've been longing.
years of existential dolor, culminating to this.
the sharp, searing pain.
demons in my brain—expunged at that moment.
sordid as you may call me, i have never felt more alive.
how much more is the blackout that follows this?
i want more of this.
the frissons of excitement that i feel in every drop.
i faint to the exhileration, but not before i smear
the tears of red on my face, the floor, my body.
i am now an effigy.
a mannequin, go burn me now and i'll cherish
every single moment of my flesh searing
as i languish in pain, but with a boisterous laugh!
i wanted pain.
life never gave me pleasure—the rapture of being alive.
all it gave me were the torment of misadventures.
i longed pain for so long, i'll savor every drop.
more. i yearn for more.
my visual blackouts are nearing, and the darkness—
it's waiting for me like a long lost brother, unseen.
i am ready to devote myself to a new life.
stop.
i don't want this.
nothing waits for me but an eternal darkness.
the void of which i'll spend the whole eternity.
it's too late.
i hear the door open.
my mom winces in shock.
she lets out a piercing shout
as painful as a bulldozer crushing me into splinters.
didn't you want this?
you've had a vehement yearning for liberation
for so long.
stop
you have no place in this world.
you are a nonentity in this world.
no i'm not
your life is nothing but an illusion.
mom, i'm sorry
the darkness envelops my vision into jet black.
i can no longer think.
what have i done
my brain is shutting down.
mom, i'm sorry
goodbye.
27/09/2018
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 11:08 AM UTC
The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.
When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.
If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.
But most people don’t see it.
Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.
The poet lives in two different worlds.
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 5:08 AM UTC
we were each other's sunlight
shining brightly upon each other
as we give each other
a touch of earthly warmth
we were two celestial bodies
bound together by each other's gravity
revolving about a mutual coordinate
moving in universal synchrony
but it looks like all our hydrogen
has ran out and we collapsed
into a white dwarf—dim light
no life, no soul, cold to the touch
we are running out of light
and you gave up on emitting yours
yet i force myself to keep on shining
like i'm milking stone, it's hopeless
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 5:07 AM UTC
i drift along
with the waves
as they ebb and flow
in night and day
i let the waves
carry me
as they take me to
my unknown fate
whether it is
paradise
or some unknown shore—
that, i don't know
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 5:07 AM UTC
we were in mutual coordinate
in natural synchrony of our own microcosms.
we were bathed in showers
of the starlit cloak that greets us before the morn.
we were slowly revolving
around our own mutual center of gravity.
we were slowly spiraling
as we near each other's force of attraction.
we saw each other spiraling toward
an event horizon, of which escapes are to no avail.
we were hurtling towards each other,
bracing no impact, but with arms wide open.
we danced 'til the night has passed,
and slowly have i realized the truth of it all.
we danced a moonlight dance,
but it was i, alone in my mind's delusional figment!
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 5:06 AM UTC
i started walking
since the beginning
who knows what lies ahead
at the very end of the road
a journey of a lifetime
as i continue to strive
but forward is the way i go
in this journey i'll undergo
millions of miles
and uncountable cries
forgotten and heard
by the long stretch of road
in this eternal struggle
and as i slowly crumble
will i ever reach the end
of this never-ending road
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 4:33 AM UTC
mirror, mirror on the wall,
who is the weakest of them all?
see my splintered fragments fall?
those pieces of me—big and small.
mirror, can you help me see
that wicked boy in front of me?
help me, mirror, i can't see
the charm of the world around me.
mirror, he's now out to ****
if i won't love myself, who will?
years of numbness, i can't feel
the knife that's there to pierce my skin.
----------------------------------------------------
my mind is now starting to spin.
searing pain, but i can't feel.
if i won't love myself, who will?
mirror, he's now out to ****
reflections of his memory—
as twisted as it could be.
that wicked boy in front of me,
mirror, can you help me see?
into the ground, i slowly fall.
see those red drops as they fall?
i am the weakest of them all,
mirror, mirror on the wall.
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 4:32 AM UTC