In the silence I fool myself
hearing a call from space.
Laying in pools of dark
shadows, I pray for
another awakening.
--
With hard dirt beneath me,
I find myself sleeping.
---
Plasmatic ribbons of scarlet
raining soft around my body
as I lay hear in the circle of
this warm and dim light.
I can feel the weight lifting,
Oh, my body is ascending.
This is the beginning of
a long awaited night,
---
The words you speak come slowly.
You whisper how you wish to know me
in the quietest ways:
body and mind
I feel as though I've missed you
in the deepest parts of me
my whole life.
Will you take me with you?
Take me back to your home.
From up here where I've come from
seems so dark and cold.
If you leave me behind,
I won't make it on my own.
I cannot return.
I can't stand to be alone.
---
The scene you set permits
the acquittal of my submission.
Myself: flawed, and sight: fogged,
in overwhelming passion for...
...you...
...tap into me as I'd tap a tree
to leak the sap. The steady
bleeding comes in rich amber beads.
Liquid metal in my veins
serve as a token for your mission.
The time it takes to drain me
tapers in a mysterious fashion.
---
All I've been and all I'll be
was left with you when you left me.
I'm grounded with the weight on top of me.
---
In the quiet, I'm woken by
the snap of a twig.
Eyelids part, only the
canopy above me.
A sea of forest green
illuminated by stars.
I know where I am,
but not where you are.
Feb 24, 2018
Feb 24, 2018 at 11:45 PM UTC
The moon was soon to be my lover:
"The great pusher and puller"
On a sad day in November,
I gave up my surrender.
As long as I was safe here,
their companion blue sphere,
they knew I wasn't going to fade.
Always thought that I would stay.
Soft pink ribbons fill my head
Light beams falling on the bed
But I could only see them
through a shaded lense.
I don't know when that began.
As the months grew longer
they watched me wander
from somewhere much farther away.
And now we're lonely.
Their love was fuller and faster,
retreating and waining.
Sunlight reflecting,
then raining and raining
I love you, I'm sorry
I hate you, don't leave me
My absence grew fonder
than staying and grieving
Then I was gone
I don't like myself when I'm away
I wonder where did we go wrong
Always thought that I would stay
Feb 24, 2018
Feb 24, 2018 at 11:42 PM UTC
He was a child of the dawn and the dusk
Wanting and waining with the tides he could trust
With soft gentle hands and an innocent touch
He's the child within and to nurture I must
A mother a sister a daughter in one
To succumb to addiction is to say that it's won
But to bury the deep and burdening shame
Her misguided attempt to sow the soul together again
Feb 24, 2018
Feb 24, 2018 at 11:39 PM UTC
History predicts the fall
in the quietest manner
Silently he builds the walls
His actions go without saying
It's too much pressure to love me
It's much too heavy to stay
I must go on without him
I'll have to find another way
Once a lovers strong embrace
Now a dark and lonely place
Who next will be my valentine?
Fill these empty arms
Feb 24, 2018
Feb 24, 2018 at 11:36 PM UTC
Someone asked me the other day if I was in love with you.
The feeling is primal, spiritual, heavy, blood borne.
We exist so closely.
I breathe in and you breathe out.
You are one hand and I am the other.
When you stand still, to my right,
facing away from me, just after sunrise
there's a beam of light that bends
with the curve of your neck.
The simplicity of the shape, the warmth on your skin
It makes my eyes water and my knees weak.
I want run my lips down
from your cheek to your ear,
just beneath your jaw,
to where, on occasion,
when my senses are heightened,
I can clearly see the pulses through you.
My heart skips a beat trying to catch yours.
And alone, together
I catch us wandering
with our eyes,
our thoughts..
thoughts of your hands,
your mouth...
The unspoken nature of our attraction
leaves me full of fantasy.
I take pieces of interactions
and stitch them together in my mind
to form a longer cohesive moment
of something naturally fleeting and taboo.
I shouldn't allow myself to travel
to that space in my head
where I'm building memories
on things we have not said.
The tone in hellos, goodbyes and I love yous
ring loud though.
However three times today, through quiet admission,
it's been acknowledged and left to linger.
Proudly, sadly, and forlorn.
Feb 24, 2018
Feb 24, 2018 at 12:38 AM UTC
Sun kissed, sea salted
Fine mist condensing on your
white dress
Early morning, cool dip
A resting smile on your
full lips
Water pooling in my hand
Our feet easing into sand
Through my camera's lens
the light bends around you
Flared out it crowns you
with a halo
Glowing angel
I dissipate, contemplate
what I wish to wash away
Shed sorrowed sallowed skin
on the shore of yesterday
Find a new spark! Fire! Ignition!
within us and
relinquish the unwanted ties
that have bound us
so we can begin again
begin again
begin again
I scream with my soul
to the horizon
Make me whole!
Only you can push and pull
my heart strings, the tide within me
You said you're tired of the weight
I said I'm tired of the wait
Forever is now
I'll sing through the night
if it would ease the lonely
frightened space inside you
Let my voice reverberate
off the walls of the hollow
pit you reside in when alone
Too often, I too, find my home
in the quiet isolation
Eyes closed, red glow
Floating fractalled spirals
weaving in and out of my lids
Bouyant, bouncing on the tip
of waves
I'd waste my day
melting drifting spinning sinking
drinking margaritas on the rocks
laying back with a big cigar
My coconut heart split spilling out on
petrified driftwood
You are loved and have
been loved by somebody good
My dieties gather
in the drunken hour
Sunken treasured memories
quell my delusions of grandeur
Reminding me how the smallest moments
linger
I want to kiss you deep
and remember it this time.
Leave out the spinning bottle,
sleep, and wake up refined
Tell you how I love you,
my partner in crime
We are two sides of the same coin
Harmonics in the southern cicadas song
Let's get up and out and on our way
through a city bright and new
before we're back on the road
to the unbecoming home
With new sight and fresh minds
clear conscious and the feeling
of hope and elation
With memories to slow our pulses
acceleration.
In the moments of anxieties
I am here for you
whatever our relation
I see who you are
in the moments of hesitation
I'm pulling in
feeling half past dead
Nov 11, 2017
Nov 11, 2017 at 9:29 PM UTC
Partially cognizant,
mindful consciousness.
Associating myself with angels
in dissociation.
Indecisive spatial recognition
of social domains.
I envied my colleagues
in representation.
The political platform on
which we are birthed,
I sit in waiting
for the chorus to quiet.
Developing crisis averting plans,
while enveloped in hurried words.
They shout in hushed tones as they stand
in all directions around me.
Sandpapery hands reach toward each other,
running over again down a nerve
that's been stinging.
My phone didn't ring all week
but I am satisfied with the relations.
Dripping back into isolation,
we ask ourselves
"Who can be satisfied with idolization?
And constant notifications of admiration."
The weight gets heavier
when we're closer together.
Grips slip in the rain,
watch for the weather.
Nov 11, 2017
Nov 11, 2017 at 8:39 PM UTC
Plasmatic ribbons of scarlet
raining soft around my body
as I lay here in the circle
of this warm and dim light
I can feel the weight lifting
Oh, my body is ascending
This is the beginning
of a long awaited night
--
The words you speak come slowly
You whisper how you wish to know me
In the quietest ways
Body and mind
And I feel as though I've missed you
in the deepest parts of me
my whole life
--
Will you take me with you?
Take me back to your home
From up here, where I've come from
seems so dark and cold
But if you leave me behind
I'll try to find it on my own
I know I can't stay
I can't stand to be alone
--
The scene set permits
the acquittal of submission
My self, flawed, and eye, fogged
in overwhelming passion for
You tap into me as I'd tap a tree
for sap, it leaks in amber beads
--
The liquid metal in my vein
serve as a token for your mission
And time tapers off in a mysterious fashion
All around me, a never ending sea of forest green
I'm back with the weight on top of me
Apr 19, 2016
Apr 19, 2016 at 5:16 PM UTC
Theres a story I read in the Bible,
coming from Old Testament,
that taught me I should love my father
taught me how to not resent...
or waste my days waiting on the
semblance of a true repent.
He was Caine and I was Able.
He killed a part of me
in the name of his God,
I called my Devil.
I curse missed opportunities...
He was Caine I wasn't able
to get that needle off his table.
There's a reoccurring vision
that is haunting my sleep.
Would he still do ******
If each time it had been injected by me?
A terrible vision,
a sickening fantasy,
that I'd rather him die by my hand
than left in his life's purgatory.
When looking down at his thigh,
does he think about his son?
Ink beneath the trembling skin,
where I left a mark with my own gun.
When looking up at the sky,
does he think about the sun?
How it shines on everything
and how he's not the only one.
Apr 18, 2016
Apr 18, 2016 at 8:51 PM UTC
I stand and watch the full moon rising
over the cherry trees in spring
In the solstice, I've been blinded
I hardly know the day or the time anymore
I am bleeding from within
I am shedding parts of me
that i can no longer hold
Trespassers in the front yard
Looking through my window
Blue lights in my vision
Fourteen hours that were taken
Trespassers in the front yard
Sneaking thru my dreams
Looking through my window
Watching as i sleep
Blue lights in my vision
Metal on the wrist
Fourteen hours that were taken
Freedom as a gift
Winters heavy burden
has left me indebted
to the state that i live in
and home thats been given
The cold wind reminds me
of the space that i go to
The place I exist in
in sadness and solitude
I come and go
Come and go
I dont like myself when im away
Mar 27, 2016
Mar 27, 2016 at 9:06 PM UTC