The rush of nostalgia in your blood
The joy in your heart
It was supposed to feel that way when you see them again.
For me, it felt intoxicating.
The bitter poison in my heart tasted like a snake's venom.
The taste wasn't pleasant at all because the memories weren't.
And it was all because I was different.
High school didn't feel like a bed of roses.
It felt like an uphill battle.
I had to cry at night, crumble bit by bit, convince myself to keep on going and so much more.
And it was all because I wasn't like any of them.
I stood by the very essence of who I am.
I didn't just sit there and uttered nothing.
I was myself and being myself was the adversary of society.
It was the fear of those who couldn't be themselves.
The fight of having to stay true to who you are was one hell of a fight.
In the army full of people staying true to their stereotypes, I had to keep on going by being myself, even if it felt like the world was crushing me.
And now, I promised myself from this day on, I will no longer be a victim of this. I will no longer spend my time with people who didn't support the essence of who I am.
From now on, I will be selfish and I will shed the old skin that I've been dragging for years.
I will constantly drink from my well of self.
I will wear the skin that I've been longing to wear.
I will repeat on loop my faith in God, my dreams, my future, my life.
This is my way of forgetting and regaining peace.
This is my way of saying goodbye to the people who didn't even try to know me, and didn't want to try to know me.
All because trying to know something new or being a part of something new was too much work, and discriminating wasn't.
Jul 19, 2016
Jul 19, 2016 at 9:23 AM UTC
it feels better when you imagine a non existent universe in your head.
because it's a place that make you feel that you could breathe better.
And when you think of such, it's a place that the soul yearns to be in.
But sadly, only the head has gone to that place and not even the body and soul can go to such place.
Jan 11, 2016
Jan 11, 2016 at 5:35 AM UTC
Writer's block.
Always blocking our creative minds.
And I am experiencing one right now.
Ugh, ugh, ugh...
What to write, what to write...?
Can't write something ******
Can't write something that's not well composed.
Can't write... Ugh, ugh, ugh...
What to write, what to write...?
Love, *** Art, Hatred, **** what?
You tell me. You tell me star-writer.
I guess, I need a potion for ideas...
Like alcohol.
Yeah.
That'd work.
Lol, let's drink then.
Dec 20, 2014
Dec 20, 2014 at 6:06 AM UTC
Walking away...
From all the troubles of the world...
From all the dramas of the world..
Is one thing I wish for.
It some how struck me because...
Unlike some, I never really wished for...
Power, Fame, or too much Gold...
I only wished to live in a small town...
Have lovely set of friends...
Have a decent home...
Is what I wish for...
To remain simple....
Be closer to God...
Have faith in Jesus...
Pray everyday...
Is what I do...
To remain grounded...
Running away from Society...
Is one thing that will keep me...
From becoming a person that I am not....
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014 at 8:12 AM UTC
I
need
sleep...
lots of...
Sleep!
But I love...
Sleeping late.
And waking up early.
Having a conflict with two different things yet...
All I want to see is...
The Moonlight.
And The Sunrise...
... Both beautiful
And divine...
What do I do then...?
I guess...
Only see both Sunrise and Moonlight...
In my dreams...
When my eyes are shut, and my mind becomes...
Colorful, and the soul... Becomes imaginative.
I guess...
This is what sleep brings you.
Things that the human eye, can't really see.
Dec 10, 2014
Dec 10, 2014 at 5:29 AM UTC
His first impression was
true love
Then he sensed
the lies; the misery
They attempted
one last time
Only to relive
the pain
for love
Dec 10, 2014
Dec 10, 2014 at 5:07 AM UTC
I love the tunes of sad melodies...
The meaning of gloomy lyrics...
They bring me back to a place...
That I call home.
The kind of home that lives in me.
For not all will understand.
And not all has the knowledge...
That this is the true side of me.
That no one will ever know...
Dec 10, 2014
Dec 10, 2014 at 5:06 AM UTC
I waited for you
I watched out these windows
While it was raining
I pressed my hand against the ice cold glass
And drank
My tears ran down my cheeks
And back into my mouth
I miss you
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 10:24 AM UTC
I walk alone at the streets of a busy world.
I eat alone at the beautiful and messy cafe...
I sleep alone without a teddy bear by my side...
Yet I never felt alone...
I felt that I always had company.
Company that made me feel happy...
That gave me the freedom of solitude.
Being a loner isn't lonely.
Because the loneliest thing in the world is...
To be with a group of people who was never
A part of You...
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 10:21 AM UTC
I always wish to go back in a certain time...
And relive the moment that I never relived.
During those certain times...
They were not the best time for me...
They were painful and sorrowful...
But now that I saw what it really looked like
I have an heartache that wishes to live those times...
Even if I was never meant to live in that certain time.
The only thing I can do now is...
Relived that certain time by listening to...
Music.
For it is the only way to recreate a memory...,
A memory that never really existed in reality.
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 9:13 AM UTC