a quiet world
leaves are dropping down
through the sky
onto my clothes
walking down a nature trail
i'm holding hands with the air
tightly
coming home, there are flashbacks
no one is outside
my family is out for the night
tilting my head down low
i harvest the rest of the jalapenos
i wanted to grow with you
-
taking a bit out of one,
i wanted to see your shocked expression
and hear you say "oh my god logan"
as i'd smile and hold in my emotion
to make you laugh
i'd ask you to try it, and you would giggle and say
"no, it'll hurt"
my kisses would be painful
because of the pepper
i would laugh
as i got you something to drink
-
my wrists snap
as i lift my 30th bag of mulch
for someone elses garden
"thank you, you're a blessing"
"no problem, have a good day sir"
checking my phone,
i'd look to see if you had posted something
. . .
nothing for today
sighing, i'd recall those years we were together
you told me not to let you haunt me
but i only ever thought of you
as a blessing
-
i really do love you.
Sep 12, 2018
Sep 12, 2018 at 1:54 PM UTC
this feeling doesn't go away
i feel it moving through me
i want a love I had inside
want to feel it moving through me
in dreams
i'm moving through heavy water
the love is enormous,
it's lifting me up
i'd rather be sleeping
i'd rather fall in to tidal waves
and go where the deepest currents go
i opened a mirror up
and saw a true love
i let it separate in two
the water rising up over my head
in dreams
i'm moving through heavy water
the love is enormous,
it's lifting me up
i'd rather be sleeping
i'd rather fall in to tidal waves
right where the deepest currents fall
Sep 12, 2018
Sep 12, 2018 at 1:30 PM UTC
I can't stop looking and reading.
I keep saying it, that you've moved on.
That I love you and it doesn't stop.
I shake at work recalling our memories.
I cry at home remembering your tears.
I stay silent and watch. The dreams don't fade anymore. The mania doesn't leave. I'm at once elated and sunken.
Really, I am a fool.
Sep 11, 2018
Sep 11, 2018 at 10:06 AM UTC
my face burns
a flame of emotion across a clouded sky
my insides swell and heave
a ship rocks from the tidal waves
i lose my footing,
or did i jump?
Why did I do this?
I already know the answer.
-silence-
the air ripples my clothes
i fall for hours
crash.
the ocean.
i remember the feeling.
it's cold; i am solid
i cannot move
water is in my lungs
the salt stings my eyes.
there is nothing for miles
only i exist here
It isn't enough. Most life in the ocean isn't this high up.
i let out the remaining air in my lungs, and i begin to sink.
I see you.
Watching me.
we both relive our pain.
the stinging of the box jellyfish.
the pierce of an octopus beak.
it hurts.
I see our blood color the water.
The tears in our eyes, or is it the brine?
You say something.
I couldn't hear it.
I have to keep sinking.
I have to find you, see you,
Ask you.
I pull us both down.
your stinging stops, for one moment.
the jellyfish and the octopus.
is it an embrace? is it a struggle?
I hold our memories,
cradled in 8 arms.
I feel your fear.
I see my mistake.
jetting upward, I force myself up.
upward in the roiling ocean.
Why did I do this to you?
What can I do to fix it?
the octopus pulls
it pulls
it pulls it's arms off.
it can't look at itself
not with these arms
not with these eyes.
Looking back now, I really didn't see her.
I promised my heart to her, and I only gave half.
he stops moving.
floating motionless.
the jellyfish has drifted away.
he watches in silence.
she has painted new pictures.
he closes his eyes and thinks of what he's done.
the months pass
he meets the other fish in the sea.
he wastes his time.
on them.
on his hobbies.
on working.
each night he sees her in a dream, but by morning he says it's washed away.
I can't blame her.
I wasn't there.
september.
he feels himself climbing up the side of the trawler.
Maybe I can stay alone.
By myself.
Maybe I really am the devil of the ocean, and only god can redeem me.
he argues with his friends
"You still miss her, don't you?"
is what they ask.
he hesitates.
he feels the love resurging.
I am different. This time it is different.
he wakes up early and works out.
he takes on another job.
he resists the pull of the sea.
he thinks of the jellyfish and his wrongs. he wants to share his unbridled love.
I'll look.
Just one more time.
the waves, they're back
the sky is gloomy and it rains for days.
he wants to dive again.
back down to her.
he knows his mistakes and remembers hers. but it'll be different.
the ocean looks the same.
Sep 11, 2018
Sep 11, 2018 at 9:43 AM UTC
I went to a wedding today
And as I went, I recalled
The vows you and I made
Prematurely
The names of our kids
Where we would live
Stay at home parents
Caring for the children
Making our lives together
I continue to cry
And wait
As I kept my vow
Still here
Waiting for a sign
To return back to our lives
No response
Aug 18, 2018
Aug 18, 2018 at 7:04 PM UTC
A shot of whiskey and some wine
A life in beautiful decline
I try to run, I try to hide
Intoxicated all the time
I'll build a bridge to watch it burn
Pour the ashes in the urn
And turn away just to start again
Aug 16, 2018
Aug 16, 2018 at 3:04 PM UTC
Paved was his road with the golden bricks,
To the glory and to the fame.
Yesterday's hero sits quiet and low.
Promises of future lies shattered like broken glass.
Lonely and crippled roaming in,
Gutters like a shadow of his past.
Reminiscing along nostalgia's lane.
Telling the children stories is his only joy.
Shyly sneaking through crowds,
Almost unnoticed passing by.
Prince of misfortunate fate is he.
Enduring poverty's yoke,
With a bitter sigh.
A Beggar Hero he is.
Once a brave captain now but a
Fallen knight of misery and pain.
Starving through days and freezing through nights.
Seeing the young soldiers walk by with a mocking smile.
Aug 15, 2018
Aug 15, 2018 at 12:01 PM UTC
Once upon a time, there was a restless king in charge.
What could he contribute to write some history?
Gold he had plenty of, but plenty could be more.
So onwards he marched, on reasons quite obscure...
With a blindfold and sword, come deliver us from evil!
Great saviour of all, so honest and brave, your land of the free is the home of the knave.
Great saviour of all, so honest and brave, your land of the free is the home of the knave.
Echoes of crusaders were heard across the world,
as he fought against the legions sent from Hell.
Shadows of the templars are yet again a fact:
Creeds are cast aside, determination's still intact...
With a blindfold and sword, come deliver us from evil!
Great saviour of all, so honest and brave, your land of the free is the home of the knave.
Great saviour of all, so honest and brave, your land of the free is the home of the knave.
Aug 11, 2018
Aug 11, 2018 at 8:41 PM UTC