desmond-lane-1 - Hello Poetry

It is 5:17 I don't have to get out of bed. I start work at 8:00 But I suddenly need tea And some time to myself On the couch Listening to some crap On Film 4 about burning my carbs To look like Rhianna I boil some more tea. I remember Su Lee was sick for an hour Brian took over At 20:45 I left the Ward at 22:16 Su Lee was sick. There was **** and **** all over her socks and afterwards When she looked up and smiled and her mum hugged me in the kitchen God moved in mysterious wards.. Time for a second cup of coffee and it's still dark. It snowed 3 inches Schools are closed. Su Lee is sitting in her chair Some of the swelling has gone down, God moves in Mysterious wards. I am tired my arm has gone to sleep it's 6:30 I did not really sleep I take longer in the shower than I need to. I won't eat breakfast. He will not be awake I want to be there when he wakes up He came out of intensive care at 03:22 We were there his eye was so swollen The Ward sister gave me a hug. She's glad that Su Lee is sitting up God moves In mysterious wards The nurse is Wonder Woman She must need inhuman self control I ask him if he wants some breakfast He says yes God moves in Mysterious wards Gary is crying in the kitchen He is 6'2" and ex RN He has met me twice He hugs me like I'm his best friend I offer him toast He can't eat I drop a spoon and grunt Bending down to pick it up It makes him laugh God moves in mysterious wards. A parcel comes from a woman I have not seen in 30 years Tea and Kendal Mint cake and Love Kindness that makes us all swell up Like it isn't a ward full Of Tiny babies with no eyes or future or indeterminate control. It's better than a lottery win Yorkshire Tea. God moves in Mysterious wards.

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May 29, 2014

May 29, 2014 at 4:59 PM UTC

desmond-lane-1

God Moves In Mysterious Wards

It is 5:17 I don't have to get out of bed. I start work at 8:00 But I suddenly need tea And some time to myself On the couch Listening to some crap On Film 4 about burning my carbs To look like Rhianna I boil some more tea. I remember Su Lee was sick for an hour Brian took over At 20:45 I left the Ward at 22:16 Su Lee was sick. There was **** and **** all over her socks and afterwards When she looked up and smiled and her mum hugged me in the kitchen God moved in mysterious wards.. Time for a second cup of coffee and it's still dark. It snowed 3 inches Schools are closed. Su Lee is sitting in her chair Some of the swelling has gone down, God moves in Mysterious wards. I am tired my arm has gone to sleep it's 6:30 I did not really sleep I take longer in the shower than I need to. I won't eat breakfast. He will not be awake I want to be there when he wakes up He came out of intensive care at 03:22 We were there his eye was so swollen The Ward sister gave me a hug. She's glad that Su Lee is sitting up God moves In mysterious wards The nurse is Wonder Woman She must need inhuman self control I ask him if he wants some breakfast He says yes God moves in Mysterious wards Gary is crying in the kitchen He is 6'2" and ex RN He has met me twice He hugs me like I'm his best friend I offer him toast He can't eat I drop a spoon and grunt Bending down to pick it up It makes him laugh God moves in mysterious wards. A parcel comes from a woman I have not seen in 30 years Tea and Kendal Mint cake and Love Kindness that makes us all swell up Like it isn't a ward full Of Tiny babies with no eyes or future or indeterminate control. It's better than a lottery win Yorkshire Tea. God moves in Mysterious wards.

67

I feel like the first fallen angel. I know how Samael felt. As Lucifer he cursed the stars, at his rainbow’s end There’s no *** of gold. To live out his time; With nothing to gain… Oh my Lord; I could feel that pain. And though it damns me to God, I would heal that pain. When there’s no place left to hide. Nowhere left in my God’s eyes, we surrender to; The deadliest Sin. The Sin Of pride. Would it hurt so much to hold me? Would it cause you so much loss? I know what’s gone wrong And I know who came last But I was so busy with changing the past Then I, I looked to heaven for guidance, And all that I found there was you. This sin was a cold satisfaction We fell where atrocity flew When there’s no place left to hide No place left in my God’s eyes; We surrender to the deadliest Sin. The Sin of Pride.

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Jan 20, 2014

Jan 20, 2014 at 11:51 AM UTC

desmond-lane-1

21st Century, Sin Of Pride.

I feel like the first fallen angel. I know how Samael felt. As Lucifer he cursed the stars, at his rainbow’s end There’s no *** of gold. To live out his time; With nothing to gain… Oh my Lord; I could feel that pain. And though it damns me to God, I would heal that pain. When there’s no place left to hide. Nowhere left in my God’s eyes, we surrender to; The deadliest Sin. The Sin Of pride. Would it hurt so much to hold me? Would it cause you so much loss? I know what’s gone wrong And I know who came last But I was so busy with changing the past Then I, I looked to heaven for guidance, And all that I found there was you. This sin was a cold satisfaction We fell where atrocity flew When there’s no place left to hide No place left in my God’s eyes; We surrender to the deadliest Sin. The Sin of Pride.

26

She’s so clinical I’m so cynical, it’s so typical We’re both to blame. She likes talking when I like walking She puts the pressure on I watch a day move on I’m so in love with her she likes to have me there It’s so typical she’s so cynical we’re both to blame. I split my mind in two She knows just what to do I like to wonder why she doesn’t have to try I make a move today she did it yesterday. She’s vegetarian and I’ll eat anything. She’s so critical; I’m so cynical it’s so typical We’re both to blame. She likes Betjeman I read Spiderman She needs food for thought, I need alcohol She wants to meet the stars; I’d like to own a bar She’s so Liberal I’m so malleable it’s so typical we’re both to blame. I’m so typical it’s so pitiful, she’s so - unexpected.

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Jan 19, 2014

Jan 19, 2014 at 2:42 PM UTC

desmond-lane-1

We're both to blame.

She’s so clinical I’m so cynical, it’s so typical We’re both to blame. She likes talking when I like walking She puts the pressure on I watch a day move on I’m so in love with her she likes to have me there It’s so typical she’s so cynical we’re both to blame. I split my mind in two She knows just what to do I like to wonder why she doesn’t have to try I make a move today she did it yesterday. She’s vegetarian and I’ll eat anything. She’s so critical; I’m so cynical it’s so typical We’re both to blame. She likes Betjeman I read Spiderman She needs food for thought, I need alcohol She wants to meet the stars; I’d like to own a bar She’s so Liberal I’m so malleable it’s so typical we’re both to blame. I’m so typical it’s so pitiful, she’s so - unexpected.

18

There is a simple light I move toward As bright crystalline light on flesh. Small and needful I dissolve ; rebuilding again And again. The fluid spreads me Safe within that first emphatic embrace. The flame of canopy air cannot lure me I could not give her up This fluid clean purity; this wholeness. My soul lens -transparent , transmuting As Fire, as Liquid, as Air, as Earth. This is her exponent. I am the first sound , the first breath – the cry. Given grace only through her. All my wayward spinning nuclei Made placid By the coolness of that, Surface skin. Which never breaks. The attention of this opening scene, focuses on a voice of ripples. Whirling, in a pool of heavy silver rings. All at once The world becomes limitless . And I howl. She is alive in me But she has gone The new warmth of stone The comfort of strangers.

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Jan 19, 2014

Jan 19, 2014 at 1:45 PM UTC

desmond-lane-1

Surface Skin

There is a simple light I move toward As bright crystalline light on flesh. Small and needful I dissolve ; rebuilding again And again. The fluid spreads me Safe within that first emphatic embrace. The flame of canopy air cannot lure me I could not give her up This fluid clean purity; this wholeness. My soul lens -transparent , transmuting As Fire, as Liquid, as Air, as Earth. This is her exponent. I am the first sound , the first breath – the cry. Given grace only through her. All my wayward spinning nuclei Made placid By the coolness of that, Surface skin. Which never breaks. The attention of this opening scene, focuses on a voice of ripples. Whirling, in a pool of heavy silver rings. All at once The world becomes limitless . And I howl. She is alive in me But she has gone The new warmth of stone The comfort of strangers.

27

You can play this game But I can’t And you do things I can’t Because I won’t But I’d just like to know Why I couldn’t trust you I tried so hard; but it all fell apart The distance was great The chasm grew wide You left me behind and I spent some time In the dark. I really thought that with you I could be anyone But all that’s gone and the stakes aren’t the same. Every night is Party Night and every glass is filled But I’m falling apart at this party And I’m falling to pieces with you. I’ve been trying to remember But I can’t I want to go back home But I won’t I know that now but I can’t understand How could I leave so much comfort behind? I lost so much in gaining And that’s what burns in my mind. So how do I go? Do I give up it all? And return to an uncertain past? I can make myself cold and quickly grow old Like someone who had to give in. Or burst like a flame from the fire again A phoenix in intact and insane. Every night is Party Night and every glass is filled But I’m falling apart at this party And I’m falling to pieces with you. I had to hide what I meant To make up some other façade I believed for a while what I kept deep inside Was only a useless ideal But I look so close at the things that I’ve done A mixture of pleasure and fear A blending together of two different dreams Which have squandered those thing I held dear. All the meaning was lost When I saw where you went I’ve been wearing a mask Which you helped me put on And I can only take parts of it off. Every night is Party Night and every glass is filled But I’m falling apart at this party And I’m falling to pieces With you.

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Jan 19, 2014

Jan 19, 2014 at 12:31 PM UTC

desmond-lane-1

Party Games

You can play this game But I can’t And you do things I can’t Because I won’t But I’d just like to know Why I couldn’t trust you I tried so hard; but it all fell apart The distance was great The chasm grew wide You left me behind and I spent some time In the dark. I really thought that with you I could be anyone But all that’s gone and the stakes aren’t the same. Every night is Party Night and every glass is filled But I’m falling apart at this party And I’m falling to pieces with you. I’ve been trying to remember But I can’t I want to go back home But I won’t I know that now but I can’t understand How could I leave so much comfort behind? I lost so much in gaining And that’s what burns in my mind. So how do I go? Do I give up it all? And return to an uncertain past? I can make myself cold and quickly grow old Like someone who had to give in. Or burst like a flame from the fire again A phoenix in intact and insane. Every night is Party Night and every glass is filled But I’m falling apart at this party And I’m falling to pieces with you. I had to hide what I meant To make up some other façade I believed for a while what I kept deep inside Was only a useless ideal But I look so close at the things that I’ve done A mixture of pleasure and fear A blending together of two different dreams Which have squandered those thing I held dear. All the meaning was lost When I saw where you went I’ve been wearing a mask Which you helped me put on And I can only take parts of it off. Every night is Party Night and every glass is filled But I’m falling apart at this party And I’m falling to pieces With you.

52

It stands to reason I should reason with myself Or maybe I should lie awake all night I could write letters to you; If only I knew where you were. Dancing; On the telephone Trying to crack your code. It doesn’t matter if I turn and walk away It doesn’t matter if I turn and walk away You won’t feel me leaving; You won’t feel me leaving You won’t even feel me leaving. So many secret meanings that I could let go Or maybe we should lie alone all night Or maybe We could lie. It stands to reason that I need someone to need. Every time I take a train ride Every time I feel the cold Every time I run on empty Anytime I’m far from home I need you to make me need you I need you to make me Need You.

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Jan 19, 2014

Jan 19, 2014 at 10:51 AM UTC

desmond-lane-1

Make me need you.

It stands to reason I should reason with myself Or maybe I should lie awake all night I could write letters to you; If only I knew where you were. Dancing; On the telephone Trying to crack your code. It doesn’t matter if I turn and walk away It doesn’t matter if I turn and walk away You won’t feel me leaving; You won’t feel me leaving You won’t even feel me leaving. So many secret meanings that I could let go Or maybe we should lie alone all night Or maybe We could lie. It stands to reason that I need someone to need. Every time I take a train ride Every time I feel the cold Every time I run on empty Anytime I’m far from home I need you to make me need you I need you to make me Need You.

25

This empty house calls out Be still Be still and let your body fall This photograph which kisses me Turns round and leaves me Quite alone Be still she says and takes your place. Takes the place of someone who I never knew Takes the place of knowledge that I never had Of boats and hills and waterways of unicorns and smiles That never touched you never held you never watched you cry So take the place of memories of yesterday take away or take the place of memories that fade away Looking down on empty car parks, children’s rides that barely move A picture frame that balances the window in the wall. So close your eyes for no surprise no kisses and no compromise Be still she says be still and wait. The final cut was drawn too late. Take my pride and take my faith take my shame and take the place Of memories and uniforms the silver strings – your friend who sings Like foreign sand and dear regrets and all the times you carried me And all those things I did with you So take the place or take away these memories of yesterday So take away or take the place of memories That died today.

0

Jan 18, 2014

Jan 18, 2014 at 5:02 PM UTC

desmond-lane-1

Be Still

This empty house calls out Be still Be still and let your body fall This photograph which kisses me Turns round and leaves me Quite alone Be still she says and takes your place. Takes the place of someone who I never knew Takes the place of knowledge that I never had Of boats and hills and waterways of unicorns and smiles That never touched you never held you never watched you cry So take the place of memories of yesterday take away or take the place of memories that fade away Looking down on empty car parks, children’s rides that barely move A picture frame that balances the window in the wall. So close your eyes for no surprise no kisses and no compromise Be still she says be still and wait. The final cut was drawn too late. Take my pride and take my faith take my shame and take the place Of memories and uniforms the silver strings – your friend who sings Like foreign sand and dear regrets and all the times you carried me And all those things I did with you So take the place or take away these memories of yesterday So take away or take the place of memories That died today.

24

Broken features washed in silver All the streets are shining. Vapour trails exposed to sunlight Fading like a promise. Time moves like a hungry panther. Viscose slow and silent. Roaring faintly in the distance Calling me to silence. Eyes still burn so clear and distant. Nothing else remembered. Sound and senses don’t respond. Memories no condolence. Time moves like a fading flicker Just the turning of a film Does my weakness make me angry? I can’t quite remember.

0

Jan 18, 2014

Jan 18, 2014 at 4:25 PM UTC

desmond-lane-1

Another Day.

Broken features washed in silver All the streets are shining. Vapour trails exposed to sunlight Fading like a promise. Time moves like a hungry panther. Viscose slow and silent. Roaring faintly in the distance Calling me to silence. Eyes still burn so clear and distant. Nothing else remembered. Sound and senses don’t respond. Memories no condolence. Time moves like a fading flicker Just the turning of a film Does my weakness make me angry? I can’t quite remember.

16

Bittersweet. And memories of melodies And Saturday and lies And motion and immobile And sand and sea and sky And friction burns on finger-tips And any kind of drug And mercenary changes And take it with a shrug. And mornings from the night before And washing out the stains And all this joy and comedy And causing so much pain And decadence And cheap pretence And lie awake all night And turning round to see you’ve gone And giving up my sight And all my lover’s finery her perfume And her kiss, her love And her rejection And all the things I miss And all my lovers finery her perfume And her kiss, her love And her rejection And all the things I Miss…

0

Jan 18, 2014

Jan 18, 2014 at 1:56 PM UTC

desmond-lane-1

Bittersweet

Bittersweet. And memories of melodies And Saturday and lies And motion and immobile And sand and sea and sky And friction burns on finger-tips And any kind of drug And mercenary changes And take it with a shrug. And mornings from the night before And washing out the stains And all this joy and comedy And causing so much pain And decadence And cheap pretence And lie awake all night And turning round to see you’ve gone And giving up my sight And all my lover’s finery her perfume And her kiss, her love And her rejection And all the things I miss And all my lovers finery her perfume And her kiss, her love And her rejection And all the things I Miss…

28

On a Hundred Towns We spoke of love and we spoke of blood, for all the good it did. ‘til somebody else pressed a hand on me, and I was taken, I was scared to death. They always said you looked good in black, but I was never certain. Oh we walked through the streets when the snow was as thick as love, Yes we walked in the road where the snow was as thick as blood. And I can remember a figure in silhouette as I planned for the future. I can remember a queen in her prime - or a princess in mourning. Can you feel can you feel, can you feel? Can you feel what I’m thinking? Can you tell, can you tell, Can you Tell? Can you tell what I’m feeling? Can you hear can you hear Can you hear? Can you hear what I’m listening to? Do you know, do you know Do you Know? Do you know what I think of you? Oh I bet you do. We could be the chosen ones , we could be a midnight sun A falling of Angels. Like stars on an autumn night – we’d shine so bright. We could be the moon that rose so huge – even though the rain came down. On a Hundred towns On A Hundred Towns.

0

Jan 18, 2014

Jan 18, 2014 at 1:44 PM UTC

desmond-lane-1

On a Hundred Towns

On a Hundred Towns We spoke of love and we spoke of blood, for all the good it did. ‘til somebody else pressed a hand on me, and I was taken, I was scared to death. They always said you looked good in black, but I was never certain. Oh we walked through the streets when the snow was as thick as love, Yes we walked in the road where the snow was as thick as blood. And I can remember a figure in silhouette as I planned for the future. I can remember a queen in her prime - or a princess in mourning. Can you feel can you feel, can you feel? Can you feel what I’m thinking? Can you tell, can you tell, Can you Tell? Can you tell what I’m feeling? Can you hear can you hear Can you hear? Can you hear what I’m listening to? Do you know, do you know Do you Know? Do you know what I think of you? Oh I bet you do. We could be the chosen ones , we could be a midnight sun A falling of Angels. Like stars on an autumn night – we’d shine so bright. We could be the moon that rose so huge – even though the rain came down. On a Hundred towns On A Hundred Towns.

34