depressed-loser - Hello Poetry

i spent a week in the behavioral center psych ward mental hospital they said three to five days they said they wanted to monitor i spent a week simplistic routine group and rec therapy all so they could see why i was feeling the things i felt asking questions getting personal i spent a week new medication new friends new experiences new diagnosis all from the psych ward i notice it everywhere now why i do the things i do bipolar a simple word that explains EVERYTHING it all makes sense the decisions i make that i wouldn’t normally make it all makes sense the racing thoughts twenty four seven three sixty five it all makes sense the excessive shopping with money i don’t have it all makes sense my mouth and my brain racing but not on the same track it all makes sense i spent a week in the psych ward -k.l.

0

Apr 15, 2015

Apr 15, 2015 at 9:22 PM UTC

depressed-loser

the psych ward

i spent a week in the behavioral center psych ward mental hospital they said three to five days they said they wanted to monitor i spent a week simplistic routine group and rec therapy all so they could see why i was feeling the things i felt asking questions getting personal i spent a week new medication new friends new experiences new diagnosis all from the psych ward i notice it everywhere now why i do the things i do bipolar a simple word that explains EVERYTHING it all makes sense the decisions i make that i wouldn’t normally make it all makes sense the racing thoughts twenty four seven three sixty five it all makes sense the excessive shopping with money i don’t have it all makes sense my mouth and my brain racing but not on the same track it all makes sense i spent a week in the psych ward -k.l.

42

it's all just a big game of russian roulette and i'm running out of empty barrels -k.l.

0

Mar 30, 2015

Mar 30, 2015 at 1:53 AM UTC

depressed-loser

russian roulette

it's all just a big game of russian roulette and i'm running out of empty barrels -k.l.

4

When I was little I use to get sick a lot I would sleep sitting up, or on the tile in the bathroom. I would cry for my mom in the night as my stomach rids itself of the food I had eaten that day. When I was little I use to stand in front of the mirror I would turn from side to side, stand on my toes and **** in I would cry to my mom, I thought I was fat. She told me I had a wide rib cage and I cried harder because that meant there was no hope. When I was a little older I use to watch what I ate at lunch I would sit with my boyfriend and his friends, I covered my mouth after each bite. I would always be sure to leave food on my plate, and I never got sweets when I sat with them. I would cry to myself- I thought for sure they were judging me by my plate Now, I still stand in front of the mirror with tears streaming down my cheeks I never eat breakfast or lunch, and I eat half my dinner. I no longer cry for my mom when I rid myself of any food I have eaten- instead I pray that she can't hear.

0

depressed-loser

Mar 16, 2015

Mar 16, 2015 at 1:18 AM UTC

megan-97

Growing Up

When I was little I use to get sick a lot I would sleep sitting up, or on the tile in the bathroom. I would cry for my mom in the night as my stomach rids itself of the food I had eaten that day. When I was little I use to stand in front of the mirror I would turn from side to side, stand on my toes and **** in I would cry to my mom, I thought I was fat. She told me I had a wide rib cage and I cried harder because that meant there was no hope. When I was a little older I use to watch what I ate at lunch I would sit with my boyfriend and his friends, I covered my mouth after each bite. I would always be sure to leave food on my plate, and I never got sweets when I sat with them. I would cry to myself- I thought for sure they were judging me by my plate Now, I still stand in front of the mirror with tears streaming down my cheeks I never eat breakfast or lunch, and I eat half my dinner. I no longer cry for my mom when I rid myself of any food I have eaten- instead I pray that she can't hear.

14

do you ever have the desire to just cut and open your skin and watch yourself bleed? not for any reason not because you want to release not because you need to cope not because you are sad but just because you want to. it's in those moments, when it's no longer a coping mechanism when it's no longer a release when there's no longer a reason it's simply addiction -k.l.

0

Mar 16, 2015

Mar 16, 2015 at 1:17 AM UTC

depressed-loser

addiction

do you ever have the desire to just cut and open your skin and watch yourself bleed? not for any reason not because you want to release not because you need to cope not because you are sad but just because you want to. it's in those moments, when it's no longer a coping mechanism when it's no longer a release when there's no longer a reason it's simply addiction -k.l.

17

and she cried completely alone again ugly red letters carved into her skin -k.l.

0

Oct 5, 2014

Oct 5, 2014 at 10:04 PM UTC

depressed-loser

release

and she cried completely alone again ugly red letters carved into her skin -k.l.

4

she was slightly suicidal partly crazy but mostly alone -k.l.

0

Sep 20, 2014

Sep 20, 2014 at 9:58 PM UTC

depressed-loser

suicide

she was slightly suicidal partly crazy but mostly alone -k.l.

4

i must be allergic to kindness because i don't receive any i must be a pathetic loser because my blades are my only friends i must be lonely and alone because i am always ignored i must be dead because i feel nothing but numb i must be skinny because i don't eat, right? wrong -k.l.

0

Aug 31, 2014

Aug 31, 2014 at 3:25 AM UTC

depressed-loser

i must

i must be allergic to kindness because i don't receive any i must be a pathetic loser because my blades are my only friends i must be lonely and alone because i am always ignored i must be dead because i feel nothing but numb i must be skinny because i don't eat, right? wrong -k.l.

12

sometimes time heals things that aren't necessarily broken -k.l.

0

Jul 2, 2014

Jul 2, 2014 at 2:59 AM UTC