she’d stab
and twist the knife
she’d “clean your teeth”
but make your gums bleed
she’s crickets chirping and ellipses
and that’s how you know
when someone has no love
and it’s always the ones
who once said they don’t want to hurt you
who hurt you the most.
~MN
Nov 20, 2017
Nov 20, 2017 at 1:15 PM UTC
when i cry
i’m always afraid
that i won’t be able to stop
and i often wonder now
if there’s enough
sadness in me
for me to cry myself into dehydration
if i didn’t hold anything back
between letting my sorrows drown me
and purging all that i am
i cannot decide
but perhaps the decision
is not mine to make
i must also remember
this life i am given
is not mine to take
...
~MN
Nov 9, 2017
Nov 9, 2017 at 7:40 AM UTC
it was a heart
for a second
the blood from the line
i made part of me
i went to take a picture
this is art
i thought
but by the time i got the camera ready
it was just a collection of red
~MN
Nov 7, 2017
Nov 7, 2017 at 7:45 AM UTC
i didn’t think of it as a relapse
because i never meant to stop
i just went without for awhile
till i again craved a drop
or more
typical
i thought
for me to act this way
one bit of distress
and it’s on display
even though i don’t mind
if you see it
that is not to say
that i’m proud of these things
i’m just dealing with pain
yet again.
~MN
Nov 7, 2017
Nov 7, 2017 at 7:39 AM UTC
With these tears
also wash my dreams away
I don’t want to think or feel
i’m clothed but i’m bare
i don’t wear my heart on my sleeve
my heart is sewn into my eyes
so i can try to lie
but i can never hide
everything comes out of me
these thoughts and feelings
for anyone to see
in blood
in tears
in sweat from fear
even the air i breathe
tastes like broken dreams
and tells you everything
i could never want
you to know about me
~MN
Nov 7, 2017
Nov 7, 2017 at 5:12 AM UTC
sew my lips into a smile
and take away these lids
now that i’m an adult
i need to stay awake
whatever i don’t need or want
just give it to the kids
there seems to be a problem here
i’m still not feeling right
this smile hurts
my eyes are dry
and i don’t much like to cry
by trying to survive, now i cannot get a wink at night.
~MN
Nov 7, 2017
Nov 7, 2017 at 2:09 AM UTC