I can hear it again
That sound of heartbreak in the middle of the night
I can feel it again
That feeling of betrayal
Was what we had worth letting go of?
You were always so self-righteous
and it’s poison
Is she worth it? After all,
your convictions went out the window
way before I could even say, “You’re a liar”
I forgive you.
for making me smell dead flowers in the morning for a long time
forcing me to eat all the words you promised me
watching me drown trying to save everything
Do you remember how I would always
Stop
Right after taking two steps
Outside the elevator
And watch you through glass
Thinking how grateful I was
But what do you know?
You always had your back turned
Much like when you walked away
For your sake,
I hope you’re happy
Be a man of your word
Be a man of bravery
Be everything
I wanted you to be
There will come a day
when my eyes will sparkle once more
my hands will work for my good
my ears will hear all the beautiful songs he will sing to me
my heart will heal from all the lies
And I swear,
I will be whole
and new again
It will be worth it
Because I stood still
And waited.
I don’t need you.
I’m fine right where I am.
Because I will wait.
I will wait for the one who was meant to give me the sun, moon, and stars
And guess what?
He will be all I ever prayed for and more.
Mar 31, 2015
Mar 31, 2015 at 8:51 PM UTC
Dear Owen,
I know you like the farm better. I'm very sorry.
I'm pretty sure I got lost in the concrete jungle of your eyes-- the familiarity in which you would plead with me whenever I'd rather you help me decorate our room (again) instead of play video games.
Have you ever read those Humans of New York stories? They're a lot like our stories. Wandering around the streets in micro fashion, sitting on park benches that are always cold, waiting for the first snow to fall to get that perfect snow angel shot. Your nose crinkles infinitely as poppy seeds fly in the air whenever spring was celebrated in Central Park. Don't get me started on how your hair looks auburn when you stand directly into the light while playing frisbee.
Listening to your voice makes me feel like I'm trapped in a broadway musical I can't escape.
Mar 21, 2015
Mar 21, 2015 at 9:36 PM UTC
I love that you're
my friend
But I hate that you're
hot and cold
If I look back on
The friendship we built
We haven't been
Friends for so long
But by fate,
You're here breathing
The same air I breathe
We love the same
We hurt for the same
We hate the same
People
But when things get
Rough
I never know
If you're still
My friend
Or a friend who's
Just pretending to be
When it's convenient
I.
When I take action
For the things I'd rather
You do
Because you're the one
Who's angrier,
The one with more hatred
Yet you contradict me
When I do
What you should've done
But when I keep my mouth
shut
Your mouth spits out
bullets
That I'm tired
of catching
Over and over
Again
And my hands have holes
While you wipe yours clean
Mar 21, 2015
Mar 21, 2015 at 7:22 AM UTC