The clocks stopped ticking a long time ago
Now you don't even say hello
I pass by every now and then
You just ignore me
I look back and smile at the friends we were.
But those memories are just a blur
I wish one day you'd blow the dust off the VHS tape
like a rusty unused fire escape
I'm forgotten
Forgotten and destined to fade away l
I know it's only in black and white
But the only memory you have of me is that terrible day
All I want to do is scream you're wrong
That's not what happened
You can't just remember that
You
Can't
The last I love you
The first goodbye
The one I'm always trying to please
Why can't I let you go
Why can't I forget about you
You left
You left me alone
Cold
Nothingness
Trying to climb out but the walls are smooth as steel and slippery as oils
All i do is sit in that hole of cold dark hate and think
I still love you
No matter what, I will still
Love
You
Because to me
You were a saint
You could do no wrong
Even though everything you did
Was awful
You were a monster
I knew what you were but I put on a blindfold and tried to wish it away.
I knew what you did but I didn't want to believe it
I still loved you
I was unhappy but you were
So that's all that mattered right
Then you left as quickly as the sweet nothings would drip from your mouth
You were gone and I was a torn rag of what I once was
I can still hear your voice
Softly whispering you can't do this
You won't come back
So I hid my real self to keep you here
But even if you leave me
I can't hate you
I loved you too much
More than I could give
And it broke me
And you just wanted more
Oct 18, 2015
Oct 18, 2015 at 10:29 PM UTC
I'm the reason you lay wake at night
The reason you shake
The reason you feel like a wind up toy that no one with let go
Tense
Tight
They don't know us
They don't know I keep you up all night saying you should worry
Hush
It won't be ok
Hush my baby
They don't think I'm worthy enough to be a burden
But they don't get me
They don't get us
What I am to you
I make you different
And you know you can't get rid of me
Take all the pills you want
Go ahead
Try it
I'm sticking to you like a magnet
I will always find my way back
And they dare call us fake
They say I'm an excuse
I'm a fashion trend
The pills don't numb the pain
They don't help
It's easy
just relax
Yeah we can't
WE are one
If I shake
You do
If you tense
I do
And maybe if it does help us calm down
I always come back
Ready to tell you everything can go wrong
Everything will go wrong
I have a name
That's a new fashion statement
I'm not a fancy pair of earrings
I'm a snake
Quite but ever so poisonous
My name is anxiety
I have power
I can drive someone mad
They all want to get rid of me
With pills
With anything
Because they don't approve of us
But my love for you is poison
So hush my child
And try to sleep
Oct 14, 2015
Oct 14, 2015 at 10:52 PM UTC
Why
Why should you keep trying
When your best is their worst
Trying to swim with your hands tied
They comment on your form when they were on the side lines
The water is flooding your senses
All it's saying is
Your not good enough
You'll never be
Your trying to hard
Why don't you do this
Why don't you do that
Why
Instead of choline all you Taste is salt
Salt from the tears they are pouring out of you like a Niagara Falls
Except
People see Niagara Falls
And when your finally done with your laps
Finally
Everyone's gone
No one stayed to praise you and say good job.
So you get up and start walking
You try walking they way they do
To try to know what they know
The weights in your pockets Holding you down like a rabid dog
Like they think your poisonous
What they don't know is
How the rhythm less dance and how the artist paints
But you take away that person
The old you
The old you who you loved
who didn't have a thigh gap never wore make up but was still beautiful
The new you is the new it
The one everyone wants to be
Your standing on a soap box telling everyone love your body and accept your self
When
As soon as you get home your makeups running and you cover the mirror
You don't want to see the old you
You also want to be the new you
But the thing you have to pretend to Love
Love is a complex thought that you tell everyone you have mastered
But if you don't love the real you
how can love someone else
So how do expect someone to love you when if they touch your face its powder.
So you weep in fear that they will know your a fake
They will find out what your trying to hide
But if thats really beauty why aren't we born with make up.
Oct 12, 2015
Oct 12, 2015 at 5:08 PM UTC
All alone
There is something under layers of skin
Something that pierces through bone
The cause of turbulence in ourselves
Feelings
The thing that leaves a bittersweet taste in your mouth
The weights in your pockets when you are trying to swim.
So to get rid of these complex feelings
We isolate our selves on islands
All alone
Waiting for someone to notice we left
Soon it hurts too much to know, we were forgotten
So we bottled up our feelings and sent them off into the ocean and silently prayed someone would find them.
Everyone asks whats the matter
Your reply was always
I can't tell you
It's nothing
I'm just, tired
Because even if you give them the bottle
They break the glass
They don't handle your feelings gently like they are something precious
They toss them away like a discarded bottle of beer
So we keep them to ourselves in fear that they will break.
And to keep our mind from wondering into that corner where we put the things that are not wanted
Like the child with the dunce cap forever sentenced to the fate of the corner
We focus on others feelings
Yeah I might not be happy, but you are so its ok.
If you're happy, I should be
How are you doing
Are you okay
Are you having fun
Do you need anything
Slowly
Painfully slow
You're losing feelings
You push them away like a child who refuses to eat their dinner
Slowly slipping into a void.
A black hole
With nothing left
Except a bottle
Oct 12, 2015
Oct 12, 2015 at 12:17 PM UTC