dean-evans9f - Hello Poetry

The day is fading once again, the forest stands in silhouette And I upon my balcony with Bergerac, and cigarette Survey the Moon that rises to illuminate, with harsh regret My lost and lonesome memories of then and her, the sad Annette She called to me in velvet night, across the brawny moor I found the moment contrary, resisting not her soft allure I walked in nightmares sad lament, my heart decreed herein de-jure I ascend the last few steps and stop.. and softly knock upon the door I stood but for a moment there, the opening ajar I sensed soft music on the breeze, originating from afar Looking up I saw my tears reflected in the evening star I stepped inside, a haunting scent adrift upon the evening air I listened as the music played inside my mind, a soft octet Silently the windows sang, with ornate glass in raised rosette What happened next my heart denies, although has not forgotten yet There beheld my eyes the hollow face of her.. the sad Annette She sat there lost in solitude emotion thus demure Her sedentary countenance at once was sullen, quite obscure Attire of one whom long ago had donned her lost haute-couture Though words cannot describe my feelings, as I sat... and gazed at her She looked my way but for a moment, she had sensed my hidden pain Effaced a tear she’d wished unnoticed, smiled at me and then She said “I love you”, closed her eyes and spoke these words again It seemed as if she’d thrown my naked soul… out in the rain No other words were spoken as I turned, to take my leave Annette had given me another reason, so to grieve To see with crystal clarity, the failures I’ve achieved To make my heart another lonely wretched refugee To sit at days demise again with wine, and cigarette Attempting to relieve my mind of her, although I haven’t yet I live within the tortured realm of memories I can’t forget Of years ago and three small words, offered by the sad Annette. Dean Evans 4-5-15

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Apr 6, 2015

Apr 6, 2015 at 8:57 PM UTC

ANNETTE

The day is fading once again, the forest stands in silhouette And I upon my balcony with Bergerac, and cigarette Survey the Moon that rises to illuminate, with harsh regret My lost and lonesome memories of then and her, the sad Annette She called to me in velvet night, across the brawny moor I found the moment contrary, resisting not her soft allure I walked in nightmares sad lament, my heart decreed herein de-jure I ascend the last few steps and stop.. and softly knock upon the door I stood but for a moment there, the opening ajar I sensed soft music on the breeze, originating from afar Looking up I saw my tears reflected in the evening star I stepped inside, a haunting scent adrift upon the evening air I listened as the music played inside my mind, a soft octet Silently the windows sang, with ornate glass in raised rosette What happened next my heart denies, although has not forgotten yet There beheld my eyes the hollow face of her.. the sad Annette She sat there lost in solitude emotion thus demure Her sedentary countenance at once was sullen, quite obscure Attire of one whom long ago had donned her lost haute-couture Though words cannot describe my feelings, as I sat... and gazed at her She looked my way but for a moment, she had sensed my hidden pain Effaced a tear she’d wished unnoticed, smiled at me and then She said “I love you”, closed her eyes and spoke these words again It seemed as if she’d thrown my naked soul… out in the rain No other words were spoken as I turned, to take my leave Annette had given me another reason, so to grieve To see with crystal clarity, the failures I’ve achieved To make my heart another lonely wretched refugee To sit at days demise again with wine, and cigarette Attempting to relieve my mind of her, although I haven’t yet I live within the tortured realm of memories I can’t forget Of years ago and three small words, offered by the sad Annette. Dean Evans 4-5-15

38

I find myself the poor and hapless victim, of your love My heart now beats alone, to my dismay But hearts will soon sucumb, to the things they’re victim of And mine is fast approaching, an anguished judgement day Within my mind I view my life in broad, and bold tableau A panoramic tapestry, of guilt Condemned to live at least for now, within the status quo Behind these solid prison walls, I find my heart has built Desire and I have fought at length, and come to no decision No answers to the questions we engage In fact at times I hear my heart in silent, cruel derision That memories of you, have no hope.. to soon assuage Relieve the endless, sleepless nights.. alone has come to be Without you here, to ease my troubled mind The tears that fall in pairs, drop two by two.. relentlessly Eyes hold no remorse, for those already shed, I find And so tonight I’ll lie beside my fire yet once again While you and your devices plot intrigue My hopes have drifted with the smoke, to dissipate disdain It’s will to fight against the wind, left perfectly fatigued Perhaps one day I’ll witness restless memories depart I’ll know the reasons why love sought retreat But for now, remain the hopeless victim of your heart Alone in purdah, Six, one, forty five.. on 2nd street... “Please pick up the phone.. Hello?..hello”.. (click) Dean Evans 2-02-15

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Feb 2, 2015

Feb 2, 2015 at 11:29 PM UTC

ON 2ND STREET

I find myself the poor and hapless victim, of your love My heart now beats alone, to my dismay But hearts will soon sucumb, to the things they’re victim of And mine is fast approaching, an anguished judgement day Within my mind I view my life in broad, and bold tableau A panoramic tapestry, of guilt Condemned to live at least for now, within the status quo Behind these solid prison walls, I find my heart has built Desire and I have fought at length, and come to no decision No answers to the questions we engage In fact at times I hear my heart in silent, cruel derision That memories of you, have no hope.. to soon assuage Relieve the endless, sleepless nights.. alone has come to be Without you here, to ease my troubled mind The tears that fall in pairs, drop two by two.. relentlessly Eyes hold no remorse, for those already shed, I find And so tonight I’ll lie beside my fire yet once again While you and your devices plot intrigue My hopes have drifted with the smoke, to dissipate disdain It’s will to fight against the wind, left perfectly fatigued Perhaps one day I’ll witness restless memories depart I’ll know the reasons why love sought retreat But for now, remain the hopeless victim of your heart Alone in purdah, Six, one, forty five.. on 2nd street... “Please pick up the phone.. Hello?..hello”.. (click) Dean Evans 2-02-15

30

I hear that plaintiff sound again, in far off... haunting celebration The passing train and people bound together, unknown destination And I, beside my fire become a mental traveler, in meditation I almost feel the rhythm of the rails... in quiet contemplation I close my eyes and quickly ride the stream... upon reflective wend My thoughts extend out endlessly, the flames and I... somehow transcend Reality now lies exempt, to witness restless dreams ascend Aboard this translunary journey, rendezvous... the Eastern wind Looking up, imagination dances in the cloudless skies The stars there offer bright solution, introspection?... improvised Then silently, a memory reveals itself to my surprise A glimpse of you, where just a trace of sorrow… sadly stains your eyes Again I hear the whistle blow, and like a thousand times before It seems to summon loneliness, with emptiness to underscore That there are things I placed upon your heart, that I must answer for I suddenly awake alone, the darkness there... and nothing more I rise to stoke the coals and so revive again... the warming flame And find I must submit, to thus reside in sorrows cruel domain The clouds are dropping down, to so release the storm on me ... again But as I drift to sleep, the dreams persist... and only these remain To hear that lonesome zephyr weep again, it’s mournful revelation Within the rain that falls upon my heart, resides my desperation Can heartaches headstone lie among the ruins, at the final station? I listen to the dear departed sounds of love… in revocation. Dean Evans 1-17-15

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Jan 18, 2015

Jan 18, 2015 at 7:29 PM UTC

LOVE...IN REVOCATION

I hear that plaintiff sound again, in far off... haunting celebration The passing train and people bound together, unknown destination And I, beside my fire become a mental traveler, in meditation I almost feel the rhythm of the rails... in quiet contemplation I close my eyes and quickly ride the stream... upon reflective wend My thoughts extend out endlessly, the flames and I... somehow transcend Reality now lies exempt, to witness restless dreams ascend Aboard this translunary journey, rendezvous... the Eastern wind Looking up, imagination dances in the cloudless skies The stars there offer bright solution, introspection?... improvised Then silently, a memory reveals itself to my surprise A glimpse of you, where just a trace of sorrow… sadly stains your eyes Again I hear the whistle blow, and like a thousand times before It seems to summon loneliness, with emptiness to underscore That there are things I placed upon your heart, that I must answer for I suddenly awake alone, the darkness there... and nothing more I rise to stoke the coals and so revive again... the warming flame And find I must submit, to thus reside in sorrows cruel domain The clouds are dropping down, to so release the storm on me ... again But as I drift to sleep, the dreams persist... and only these remain To hear that lonesome zephyr weep again, it’s mournful revelation Within the rain that falls upon my heart, resides my desperation Can heartaches headstone lie among the ruins, at the final station? I listen to the dear departed sounds of love… in revocation. Dean Evans 1-17-15

40

ok sry slight re-write Imagine, if you can… another time, a different place Liberate your thoughts, allow them freedom... into outer space Worlds will quickly fall away, as will our dreams… though we give chase I say your name out loud, once again conjecture… just in case And hope, we really did exist... if only circumstance Brought together cosmically, although all quite by accident Nothing in the distance but the galaxies… just happenstance To glow for but a moment there, within their silent... fleeting chance No conceiver there, to create the Universe...divine Just pressure, mass and energy... to inaugurate the dawn of time Epochs come and go unnoticed, absent... any Grand design Though I can still recall a moment, I was yours... and you were mine We’d scan those clear Kentucky skies, beneath the bright, but endless void i must admit that there, with you… my youthful heart was overjoyed And we’d lie among the ruins of the laughter, we had so enjoyed Time stretched far ahead of us, the illusion now... sadly destroyed So if we find one day, there is no God… no grace we can foresee No Heaven waiting there for us, no souls unite… we cease to be I’ll go to what awaits us all, it lies there silent… patiently But I can still recall those nights, they linger deep... in memory So if we just exist within a realm... of someone else's mind They thought of us, and gave us all the happiness... we came to find With dreams of you and I, to gently comfort... and remind If only just that moment, when I was yours… and you were mine It was a Time of Light.. Dean Evans 1-13-15

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Jan 13, 2015

Jan 13, 2015 at 4:51 PM UTC

TIME OF LIGHT

ok sry slight re-write Imagine, if you can… another time, a different place Liberate your thoughts, allow them freedom... into outer space Worlds will quickly fall away, as will our dreams… though we give chase I say your name out loud, once again conjecture… just in case And hope, we really did exist... if only circumstance Brought together cosmically, although all quite by accident Nothing in the distance but the galaxies… just happenstance To glow for but a moment there, within their silent... fleeting chance No conceiver there, to create the Universe...divine Just pressure, mass and energy... to inaugurate the dawn of time Epochs come and go unnoticed, absent... any Grand design Though I can still recall a moment, I was yours... and you were mine We’d scan those clear Kentucky skies, beneath the bright, but endless void i must admit that there, with you… my youthful heart was overjoyed And we’d lie among the ruins of the laughter, we had so enjoyed Time stretched far ahead of us, the illusion now... sadly destroyed So if we find one day, there is no God… no grace we can foresee No Heaven waiting there for us, no souls unite… we cease to be I’ll go to what awaits us all, it lies there silent… patiently But I can still recall those nights, they linger deep... in memory So if we just exist within a realm... of someone else's mind They thought of us, and gave us all the happiness... we came to find With dreams of you and I, to gently comfort... and remind If only just that moment, when I was yours… and you were mine It was a Time of Light.. Dean Evans 1-13-15

46

Alone again in darkness, though her memory shines on me Everything is black beyond the light, too dim to see So all there is to do is think, and so I do, regress Into a place I've lost, or I haven't found, I guess... Night time lets the lonesome man, into his lonesome ways I write these words to no one, to attempt to sooth my days The time is slow in passing, but the coffee sees to that Black just as this room, that surrounds me at my back... The nights all run together, and so the counting goes How many nights my mind has wandered to her, I don't know Anticipating answers to the questions I have asked But the morning comes to quickly, the dreams are gone too fast The feelings stay the same for me and will be, never broken I pay my toll to loneliness, with sadness' heavy token Through turnstiles into nothingness, I pass beyond the gate It seems the train to hope has left me here, I'm much too late And far into the distance, I can hear sweet voices call No direction, sad reflection, darkness covers all Not can I, be hopeful to recall what's fled my mind What chance did I ever have?.., slim or none I find The artificial light that illuminates this page Eventually will burn itself out, fading with the age And I myself may pass before the light no longer shines Sitting in this chair with pen and paper, I'll recline Though I assume the day will come for all of us, you know When darkness overwhelms the life, the love you try to show Being all alone is not the worst place I have found By myself, into my thoughts and listening for the sound The sound of silent memories, that come to visit here The thought of this just leaves her voice.. ringing in my ears The silence much too loud for me to notice sound, and thus The darkness once again too bright, my eyes cannot adjust Adjust to this, my fate to sit and wait here through the night Wondering of pain and pleasure, I don't know which feels right The feelings run together, though no telling them apart I wonder when this night will end, or how it got it's start My pen, it travels on it's own along these lines it seems As though I'm writing all my thoughts inside of all my dreams Too many to remember, but too few to help me out Out of places filled with hopelessness, and doubt But I suppose the ink will run, and smear across the pages Consuming all that I have felt, so lost within the ages And so I too, shall be lost, my memory gone to you But what's a man like me, expect these things to do They'll come to nights of all alone, and she will say to me "You've lost the things you thought you had, so let your love go free"... It never really lived for you, inside this darkened room Where morning came too quickly, and the light left her too soon... Dean Evans 10-02-08

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Jan 9, 2015

Jan 9, 2015 at 11:28 PM UTC

MORNING CAME TOO QUICKLY

Alone again in darkness, though her memory shines on me Everything is black beyond the light, too dim to see So all there is to do is think, and so I do, regress Into a place I've lost, or I haven't found, I guess... Night time lets the lonesome man, into his lonesome ways I write these words to no one, to attempt to sooth my days The time is slow in passing, but the coffee sees to that Black just as this room, that surrounds me at my back... The nights all run together, and so the counting goes How many nights my mind has wandered to her, I don't know Anticipating answers to the questions I have asked But the morning comes to quickly, the dreams are gone too fast The feelings stay the same for me and will be, never broken I pay my toll to loneliness, with sadness' heavy token Through turnstiles into nothingness, I pass beyond the gate It seems the train to hope has left me here, I'm much too late And far into the distance, I can hear sweet voices call No direction, sad reflection, darkness covers all Not can I, be hopeful to recall what's fled my mind What chance did I ever have?.., slim or none I find The artificial light that illuminates this page Eventually will burn itself out, fading with the age And I myself may pass before the light no longer shines Sitting in this chair with pen and paper, I'll recline Though I assume the day will come for all of us, you know When darkness overwhelms the life, the love you try to show Being all alone is not the worst place I have found By myself, into my thoughts and listening for the sound The sound of silent memories, that come to visit here The thought of this just leaves her voice.. ringing in my ears The silence much too loud for me to notice sound, and thus The darkness once again too bright, my eyes cannot adjust Adjust to this, my fate to sit and wait here through the night Wondering of pain and pleasure, I don't know which feels right The feelings run together, though no telling them apart I wonder when this night will end, or how it got it's start My pen, it travels on it's own along these lines it seems As though I'm writing all my thoughts inside of all my dreams Too many to remember, but too few to help me out Out of places filled with hopelessness, and doubt But I suppose the ink will run, and smear across the pages Consuming all that I have felt, so lost within the ages And so I too, shall be lost, my memory gone to you But what's a man like me, expect these things to do They'll come to nights of all alone, and she will say to me "You've lost the things you thought you had, so let your love go free"... It never really lived for you, inside this darkened room Where morning came too quickly, and the light left her too soon... Dean Evans 10-02-08

51

Someday, when I'm older I may have a thought of you A smile upon my face, within the memory that I view Remembering the ways of youth, and knowing youth is through To replace my smile with simple tears, for all the things we knew My lamp may light the room, and the things I come to find Though darkness overwhelms me, and deep reaches of my mind Imagining that long ago, and lost forgotten time When you had said you loved me, in words so soft and kind Sometimes in the early dawn, the sun will shine on me And take me to a place, that had belonged to us, you see A place where we had held onto our love, then set it free I wonder, ponder all these things, but pray them not to be... I pray the years to come, will not inflict my heart such pain And hope my dreams of you, will not leave my nights insane But weary as I am, I must sleep, and that is when The thoughts come round, I hear the sound, of heartache once again Someday when you're older you may think of me as well Maybe in some story, to your children, that you'll tell A memory that you will keep inside, within yourself The tears, lost on pages in the books upon your shelf... To lie there undisturbed, though visited at times Each stain , another piece of you and I, dropped from your eyes Belonging to your heart, each teardrop held there tells you why The smiles were lost, and what the cost, of long ago goodbye... Age, however may not play with us, It’s cruel game Time may pass, and all for us continue, stay the same But if somehow I should forget, some things will still remain The way you whispered how that you had loved me, and your name... I've written thousands, such as these, words of you to hold... A way to keep the killing, chilling winds of of age, and old Out of my broken heart for you, this... to myself I've told I use it as a way to lock outside alone, and cold... The cold of being lost in time, the chill of no one there And so I've tried, but know that I must keep the memories where Time nor circumstance will find my mind so doctrinaire And few are found the answers to my heartaches questionnaire I write down broken memories, for I know about these things The day we said our vows, and exchanged our golden rings To me it comes as music, and the song my angel sings That someday when I'm older... into my mind it brings, A thought of you........ Dean Evans 1-06-09

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Jan 9, 2015

Jan 9, 2015 at 11:20 PM UTC

A THOUGHT OF YOU

Someday, when I'm older I may have a thought of you A smile upon my face, within the memory that I view Remembering the ways of youth, and knowing youth is through To replace my smile with simple tears, for all the things we knew My lamp may light the room, and the things I come to find Though darkness overwhelms me, and deep reaches of my mind Imagining that long ago, and lost forgotten time When you had said you loved me, in words so soft and kind Sometimes in the early dawn, the sun will shine on me And take me to a place, that had belonged to us, you see A place where we had held onto our love, then set it free I wonder, ponder all these things, but pray them not to be... I pray the years to come, will not inflict my heart such pain And hope my dreams of you, will not leave my nights insane But weary as I am, I must sleep, and that is when The thoughts come round, I hear the sound, of heartache once again Someday when you're older you may think of me as well Maybe in some story, to your children, that you'll tell A memory that you will keep inside, within yourself The tears, lost on pages in the books upon your shelf... To lie there undisturbed, though visited at times Each stain , another piece of you and I, dropped from your eyes Belonging to your heart, each teardrop held there tells you why The smiles were lost, and what the cost, of long ago goodbye... Age, however may not play with us, It’s cruel game Time may pass, and all for us continue, stay the same But if somehow I should forget, some things will still remain The way you whispered how that you had loved me, and your name... I've written thousands, such as these, words of you to hold... A way to keep the killing, chilling winds of of age, and old Out of my broken heart for you, this... to myself I've told I use it as a way to lock outside alone, and cold... The cold of being lost in time, the chill of no one there And so I've tried, but know that I must keep the memories where Time nor circumstance will find my mind so doctrinaire And few are found the answers to my heartaches questionnaire I write down broken memories, for I know about these things The day we said our vows, and exchanged our golden rings To me it comes as music, and the song my angel sings That someday when I'm older... into my mind it brings, A thought of you........ Dean Evans 1-06-09

43

I believe some things are meant to leave you far behind Lost in lonely regions, deep within your mind What becomes of you or me is found within the storm Questions with no answer, that have now become the norm Depression rips and tears at you, to leave a troubled heart At times you sit and wonder, how did nothing get it’s start People seem as strangers though you see them everyday Time has seen that happiness, or dream of it decay At times you smile, but deep inside the smile is just a mask A way to keep the peering eyes that follow, off their task To live in isolation, surrounded by the crowd Thoughts that fill your mind, very few you say out loud Night time races in again, to leave you to yourself The drugs are taken as prescribed, most times with little help You leave the fires burning, seek comfort from the light The silence sings too loudly, with darkness much too bright But morning brings the bitter rain of tears and lost regret Time shall heal all wounds they say, I haven’t got there yet So until then I suppose I’ll do what I can do The years ahead seem close at hand, but that is nothing new Time is closing in on me, I’ve known it for some time The future watches, waiting for the day set forth as mine And when the day arrives for me, I’ll see the wasted years Remembering the days of pain, within the time of tears... Dean Evans 3-10-14

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Jan 9, 2015

Jan 9, 2015 at 8:51 PM UTC

TIME OF TEARS

I believe some things are meant to leave you far behind Lost in lonely regions, deep within your mind What becomes of you or me is found within the storm Questions with no answer, that have now become the norm Depression rips and tears at you, to leave a troubled heart At times you sit and wonder, how did nothing get it’s start People seem as strangers though you see them everyday Time has seen that happiness, or dream of it decay At times you smile, but deep inside the smile is just a mask A way to keep the peering eyes that follow, off their task To live in isolation, surrounded by the crowd Thoughts that fill your mind, very few you say out loud Night time races in again, to leave you to yourself The drugs are taken as prescribed, most times with little help You leave the fires burning, seek comfort from the light The silence sings too loudly, with darkness much too bright But morning brings the bitter rain of tears and lost regret Time shall heal all wounds they say, I haven’t got there yet So until then I suppose I’ll do what I can do The years ahead seem close at hand, but that is nothing new Time is closing in on me, I’ve known it for some time The future watches, waiting for the day set forth as mine And when the day arrives for me, I’ll see the wasted years Remembering the days of pain, within the time of tears... Dean Evans 3-10-14

27

At times it seems to hard to go on living Peace, and ease of thought have not yet found me Sorrow pours, and the skies are unforgiving Life rains, until I think that it might drown me I've searched and searched for answers, but there are none So where am I to turn for what I seek The promise, and the hope I had, are long gone What's left inside this shell of me is weak I don't know how much longer faith can hold me To arise and greet each day, and try again Afraid that all this pain that tries so boldly Will throw my naked soul out in the rain No shelter from these random thoughts of leaving That things would work out better, with me gone But my old friend Guilt, keeps me believing My death would only leave behind more harm So I must travel on inside this nightmare A terror worse because I'm not asleep This mirror shows me nothing but a blank stare I've found I've lost the will, to even weep But crying hasn't solved these problems yet It only leave the heart that cries, the sad one It takes my thoughts but won't let me forget I've tried to live a life, but I don't have one And knowing the tormented mind won't rest That empty thoughts and pain, still rule the day The night allows no sleep, and seems to test Is there Heaven?, is there God? from hell I pray. Dean Evans 4-24-2004

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Jan 9, 2015

Jan 9, 2015 at 7:12 PM UTC

LAMENT

At times it seems to hard to go on living Peace, and ease of thought have not yet found me Sorrow pours, and the skies are unforgiving Life rains, until I think that it might drown me I've searched and searched for answers, but there are none So where am I to turn for what I seek The promise, and the hope I had, are long gone What's left inside this shell of me is weak I don't know how much longer faith can hold me To arise and greet each day, and try again Afraid that all this pain that tries so boldly Will throw my naked soul out in the rain No shelter from these random thoughts of leaving That things would work out better, with me gone But my old friend Guilt, keeps me believing My death would only leave behind more harm So I must travel on inside this nightmare A terror worse because I'm not asleep This mirror shows me nothing but a blank stare I've found I've lost the will, to even weep But crying hasn't solved these problems yet It only leave the heart that cries, the sad one It takes my thoughts but won't let me forget I've tried to live a life, but I don't have one And knowing the tormented mind won't rest That empty thoughts and pain, still rule the day The night allows no sleep, and seems to test Is there Heaven?, is there God? from hell I pray. Dean Evans 4-24-2004

31

Old friends are gone and others leaving I stay... attempt to comfort grieving And think of times we laughed in jest It seems I block out all the rest The days spent, lost those joyous rare And if I try to dream them there It doesn't bring me heartless pain That sudden consciousness again Lucky to have known at all Our seasons spent into the fall The promise winter makes to me Cold winds remind of "used to be" The summer days we played our games But now I go and read the names Of friends who hold me in their dash Dust to dust... Ash to ash... For I must be upon this earth To find those things, for what it's worth I know there is a plan.. to be That God has kept concealed from me It's written on the wind, they say Can I endure another day ? The loneliness of days released For friends, and friendship do not cease I stand as windows sentry now For someone stopping by, but how I guess I'll have to go to them The years shall pass.. I question when When will God decide to take me Not to leave me.. not forsake me.. In sorrow's cruel unhappiness For all those lost, and it's loneliness I'll ponder as the ages pass Plant new flowers in the grass And though I'll shed a million tears I'll sit and wait throughout the years I feel that I will be the last Believing... dreaming of the past But gifted, if I am... or cursed I fear the years to come the worst I've realized , I'll still be here Hope lost in those final years After all have gone to be With Heaven that is kept... from me I may have only lost my way Perhaps I've missed my fateful day If death has called, I wasn't near Now I stand throughout the years But I am sure someday day , I'll go Like all loved ones, and friends I know He makes me wait and there is time What's gone in me is lost, in mind... Immortal?.. no...I'll live my life But see my children... friends, my wife... All leave this earth, before I do That is my curse.. the loss, of you.. But I must do, what I must do Be there... I'll catch up to you......... Dean Evans 2-24-07 (REvised 8-29-14)

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Jan 9, 2015

Jan 9, 2015 at 7:09 PM UTC

CURSED

Old friends are gone and others leaving I stay... attempt to comfort grieving And think of times we laughed in jest It seems I block out all the rest The days spent, lost those joyous rare And if I try to dream them there It doesn't bring me heartless pain That sudden consciousness again Lucky to have known at all Our seasons spent into the fall The promise winter makes to me Cold winds remind of "used to be" The summer days we played our games But now I go and read the names Of friends who hold me in their dash Dust to dust... Ash to ash... For I must be upon this earth To find those things, for what it's worth I know there is a plan.. to be That God has kept concealed from me It's written on the wind, they say Can I endure another day ? The loneliness of days released For friends, and friendship do not cease I stand as windows sentry now For someone stopping by, but how I guess I'll have to go to them The years shall pass.. I question when When will God decide to take me Not to leave me.. not forsake me.. In sorrow's cruel unhappiness For all those lost, and it's loneliness I'll ponder as the ages pass Plant new flowers in the grass And though I'll shed a million tears I'll sit and wait throughout the years I feel that I will be the last Believing... dreaming of the past But gifted, if I am... or cursed I fear the years to come the worst I've realized , I'll still be here Hope lost in those final years After all have gone to be With Heaven that is kept... from me I may have only lost my way Perhaps I've missed my fateful day If death has called, I wasn't near Now I stand throughout the years But I am sure someday day , I'll go Like all loved ones, and friends I know He makes me wait and there is time What's gone in me is lost, in mind... Immortal?.. no...I'll live my life But see my children... friends, my wife... All leave this earth, before I do That is my curse.. the loss, of you.. But I must do, what I must do Be there... I'll catch up to you......... Dean Evans 2-24-07 (REvised 8-29-14)

66

I’ve sat and thought about the things in life, that I’ve done wrong The tears I've placed there in your eyes, the dreams that now are gone I still recall the changing light, promises... in the dawn Now the years have passed us by, at times cruel sine qua non Please do not believe that I’ve forgotten what was said Those dreams we wished for in our youth, still trapped inside my head Felicity, please understand, is in the lives that we have led But I still hear the echoes of those lost and broken dreams, instead Remembering that sunset, and those wispy angel clouds The only sound the wind... and our hearts, away from city crowds We knew back then the love we had, would never let us down But the cool green leaves of Summer, have now sadly turned to brown Those nights with you were then, and are the best times I have known I live within those memories, for the winds of age have blown I reap the painful harvest of the sorrow that I’ve grown Can I repair your heart?, that remains in the unknown Please do not misunderstand, I’ve loved you all this time It’s just that I have thoughts that come to cloud my troubled mind I’ve left too many words unsaid, too many tears behind And now the past is slowly creeping up on me, I find To leave me here to live with all the pain I’ve put you through As you must so endure, the self-reproach I’ve given you I ask only forgiveness, I know the asking's overdue My life is what it is, but it’s nothing without you… Dean Evans 12-12-14 For C.

0

Jan 9, 2015

Jan 9, 2015 at 6:59 PM UTC

NOTHING WITHOUT YOU

I’ve sat and thought about the things in life, that I’ve done wrong The tears I've placed there in your eyes, the dreams that now are gone I still recall the changing light, promises... in the dawn Now the years have passed us by, at times cruel sine qua non Please do not believe that I’ve forgotten what was said Those dreams we wished for in our youth, still trapped inside my head Felicity, please understand, is in the lives that we have led But I still hear the echoes of those lost and broken dreams, instead Remembering that sunset, and those wispy angel clouds The only sound the wind... and our hearts, away from city crowds We knew back then the love we had, would never let us down But the cool green leaves of Summer, have now sadly turned to brown Those nights with you were then, and are the best times I have known I live within those memories, for the winds of age have blown I reap the painful harvest of the sorrow that I’ve grown Can I repair your heart?, that remains in the unknown Please do not misunderstand, I’ve loved you all this time It’s just that I have thoughts that come to cloud my troubled mind I’ve left too many words unsaid, too many tears behind And now the past is slowly creeping up on me, I find To leave me here to live with all the pain I’ve put you through As you must so endure, the self-reproach I’ve given you I ask only forgiveness, I know the asking's overdue My life is what it is, but it’s nothing without you… Dean Evans 12-12-14 For C.

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