brown painted walls,
chipped in random spaces.
the tv turned to something he would never watch.
the sound of his snores occupying the room.
the only other sound is the faint beeping
from the machines in other rooms.
each nurse checking in every few minutes.
not that it mattered.
he wasn't getting better.
we were sitting ducks while he sat in pain.
I hate this place.
May 5, 2019
May 5, 2019 at 2:05 AM UTC
I recently went to a party
while my boyfriend was at work
Reconnecting with old classmates
and friends lost with time
They ask all about my life
what I'm up to and where things are going
The first thing to roll off my tongue
is the name of the man that I love
Immediately my heart begins to race
and a million stories rush to my mind
Do I tell them how charming you've always been?
How charismatic you are?
Or do I tell them about all the butterflies
that float around all me when you call me "baby"
Can any story truly tell someone
how amazing a person can be,
without actually meeting them?
The words roll off my tongue
and it's as if I can never stop
I could tell a million stories
each different
and unique in its own way
about all the things
that make my lover
the only one for me
Apr 7, 2019
Apr 7, 2019 at 11:16 PM UTC
I hope you all receive and understand
What unconditional love is
at least once in your love
The kind of love that powers you
Through anything
The kind of love that protects you
From your worst fears,
perhaps even yourself
The kind of love that teaches you
To love yourself as much as
the other person loves you
The kind of love that follows you
Into the darkest corners and
the deepest abysses
The kind of love
That could never be replaced
Or forgotten
An unconditional love
that makes you truly understand
Love.
Apr 1, 2019
Apr 1, 2019 at 11:00 PM UTC
I let go of the memories we're supposed to keep
Knowing they hold more sentiment than I like
Because one day I could be just sitting at home
When suddenly I hear a song that reminds me of you
And then the rest of the memories flood in
Without any warning I'll start to reminisce
About what could have been
That are now just old memories
Sep 2, 2018
Sep 2, 2018 at 2:49 PM UTC
There are many ways to deal with anxiety
A lot of people fidget with their hands
Bounce their legs up and down
Chew a lot of gum
Stay in the solitude of their own room
Bite their hair or nails
While there's me
I used you to ease my anxiety
You were my nervous tick
Going to you was the easiest thing I could have done
Because you made me so calm
Now I wish you never left
Sep 2, 2018
Sep 2, 2018 at 2:13 PM UTC
I dream of you in secret
Not because I'm ashamed
But because we aren't how we used to be
So I dream of the you that I knew
The you that made my head spin
Whenever our hands touched
Or my stomach flutter
When you said my name
I dream of you
In hopes you'll return back home
Sep 2, 2018
Sep 2, 2018 at 1:39 PM UTC
It's a strange feeling
When you lose someone
Whether they die or walk away
It's all part of the same heartbreak
Sep 2, 2018
Sep 2, 2018 at 10:05 AM UTC
I slowly start to break down my walls
Little bits of me start pouring out
Swiftly but quickly into the mind of another
They ponder upon the thoughts
And seamlessly put back together the pieces for me
Slowly they do the same
I pack on more emotions and experiences than I can handle
But I feel the connection almost immediately
Every time we establish that connection
Things slowly get deeper
Then I get more invested
The more invested I am, the quicker I am to get attached
With time, I slowly start to pull myself away from people
It's easier to save myself than deal with the trauma
Even then.. slowly do I build the wall back up
To prepare myself just in case someone else comes along
Just so I could do it all over again
Sep 2, 2018
Sep 2, 2018 at 4:05 AM UTC
There's nothing quite like temporary happiness
For little moments, little spurts of time
You feel the fulfillment of your emptiness
As if things will shift and change for the better
But once that happiness is deflated
You have nowhere else to go
Except back to your emptiness
The temporary feeling
That comes and goes
And you're never prepared for it
Nor do you know if that happiness will stay for good
Sep 2, 2018
Sep 2, 2018 at 3:46 AM UTC
I got out of bed today.
Not because I had to.
But because I felt like I could.
Because today was the day I felt something positive.
I went downstairs and had a glass of water.
Then I went to my room, and cleaned it.
Then I separated my laundry, and ran a few loads through the washer/dryer.
I went into the bathroom and tidied it up.
Simple things that seem like clockwork.
I haven't been able to do lately.
No motivation, no care.
But today I had it.
Today I had the motivation, I cared.
It was something phenomenal I hadn't felt in a while.
Simple but phenomenal.
And to be honest I'm proud of myself for it.
Because for a while, I didn't think I'd ever feel like this again.
Aug 5, 2018
Aug 5, 2018 at 10:49 PM UTC