i live inside my mind
it's a broken home
negative thoughts line the walls
insecurities cook in the kitchen
broken is an understatement
i'm internal
not external
i won't tell you i'm dying
you will see it, feel it, hear it
that's how i am
it's how i'll always be
i don't think i will ever be set free
from myself
Nov 22, 2014
Nov 22, 2014 at 12:42 AM UTC
I know others had it worse
I know others had it better
I really wish i could get my life together
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014 at 7:54 AM UTC
My darling, if only you knew how much I think of you everyday
How every waking moment I say that I'll see you later
Then jump out of bed
You're almost my reason to live
How everything that I randomly see has a connection with you
Then smile
you really left your mark, not on my mind but heart as well
How every time that I'm alone I stare at a remote place
Then realize I'm thinking of you, again
why is it– how did you do it?
How every night before I go to sleep, after I pray, I imagine a life with you
Then drift to a blissful sleep
you made the bad dreams go away
But really how everytime I'm with you
The whole world becomes a distant place and you're the only oneI want to be with
I really love you
My darling, if only you knew how much I think of you everyday, you'll say I'm obsessed
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014 at 7:29 AM UTC
You'll never know...
When you'll be head over heels
The most enchanting feeling in the world
Your unknown desires, it reveals
A current in you will endlessly twirl
You'll never know...
When happiness fills your heart
Having a precious bundle of joy in your arms
You'll realize in your life, he's the most important part
Not forgetting, he'll make the best morning alarms
You'll never know...
When your heart will be scrunched
Like a ball from a piece of paper
Feels like your chest is being ruthlessly punched
Your skin peeled off with a serrated scraper
You'll never know...
When a friend will turn his back
Whose hand you held, all these years
Intentionally causing an emotional attack
In disbelief, you gather invisible tears
You'll never know...
When you'll be caught in an unexpected plight
Daily reflections occur, due to lack of wisdom
To ease your dark path, you yearn for a ray of light
Nothing much you can do except to crave for freedom
You'll never know...
When the time comes, you might bleed to death
Tears will flow drowning your skin
As you breathe your last breath
You wish you had more time to atone for your sins
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014 at 6:53 AM UTC
The man behind the ****
He's evil I tell ya
He will have you wrapped around his hideous fingers after the first hit
He will drain your bank account
Your beauty and common sense
Then you'll be walking around mindlessly under his spell
He will whisper things to you
Telling you you're fine
In reality
You're ****** up and ****** up.
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014 at 6:44 AM UTC
All the things you do to me
You give me all your hurt
You fool around in front of me
Heartache I don't deserve
Was it something that I said?
Do you need to be restrained?
If it would help I'd tie you up
But, it would not improve a thing
A psychiatric ward would work
But, also rot your brain
I can't return all of your hurt
No one could handle this much pain
You're kooky with your nonsense
That drives me most insane
Yet, every time I see your face
I fall in love again
And I can't come down
I know I need it
But the Ritalin A won't do no no
The Ritalin A won't do
You gave me girlfriend and I thank you
Let me tell you she was pretty good to me
I want to tell you all this loving cost me something
But, really, was love ever free?
Oh, don't believe those ***** hippies
Not one word, because like you, they lied to me
But, I'm not judging, just a nudge then we're together
And let everything just be
Let everything just be
And I can't come down
I know I need it
But the Ritalin A won't do
No, the Ritalin A won't do
We'd make a million dollars on your actions
If you got paid what you're worth
And all your stinking playpen games please tell me
Are you through with me?
Are you through with me?
Because I'm still way too high on loving you
And I can't come down
I know I need it
But. the Ritalin A won't do no no no no
The Ritalin A won't do
So get your body over here
Because I can't come down
No, I can't come down
From a loving you
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014 at 6:29 AM UTC
she said she fell
for the drunk me -
well, i liked me
that way-better, too
how very sad
- but true
i'd drink again
if i knew i could -
if it would do any good
- to lick her sweat
one drop at a time
all along the jawline
- making her salt mine
one more time.
r ~ 11/15/15
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014 at 4:55 AM UTC
I always hated the color of your emotions
On these dull and rainy days
Haven't seen the sun for months
Can somebody fax me the apocalypse
Can we just go back into a Big Crunch
Don't care about time anymore it just slips
Through my fingers
I'm not perfect like you think, I'm patchwork
My design has so many flaws and quirks
I'm made of skin and bones, some tell me if I'd try to swim I'd sink
Wish I was more of a liar so maybe I could float
What a tease you are in your little floral dress
And your needle and your thread and your thimble and the little squeaky noises from your rubber sneakers tread
Thought you were so cute when you'd ask me to drink my wine and eat my bread
Who knew a sip would turn into a bag and a loaf of bread
I hated how you looked up when I would look down
And the town felt like a bell tower full of time where I never heard the bell sound
And when you would close your ears it felt like a tsunami had hit my face and turned me into a zombie walking frown
Where my brain was so angry it turned red and filled with blood until I drowned
And there you sat that afternoon playing with your alabaster Barbie that oddly represented you
And you combed her hair and gave her a personality that you could choose
And you forgot all about the needle and thread, and all my patchwork of yellow and red and blue
You forgot all about me and if you would have mixed all the colors right you wouldn't have anything to lose
But here I am with my wiry string and my patchwork bruise
I've got smoke in my lungs and oil in my stomach fueling an industrial revolution that's way past due
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014 at 3:36 AM UTC
She had a new man every other week
But they all had something in common
MONEY
I'd see her leave every night and come home every morning
With a different man
All drove luxury cars
Wore fancy suits
And shiny watches
I was curious how she did it
She would come and leave
The most fabulous woman I've seen
She'd come home with Versace, Prada, and Gucci bags
Always wearing dark designer shades
and black stelletos
Hair done up, not a single flaw on her skin
She was fabulous and a *****
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014 at 3:16 AM UTC