what's worse?
realizing the truth while drunk or sober
I don't know
Realizing that your "friends" actually don't give a **** about you
I don't know
when I'm drunk I finally see all the other reasons of why I should hate you
I don't know
peoples ignorance in the world hurts me
more than they will ever know
and that's why I tend to push people away from time to time
to the point where I have no more friends
I don't know
May 25, 2014
May 25, 2014 at 3:40 AM UTC
You asked me If I was upset last night
i said no.
I lied.
the truth is I was upset.
I had a few too many shots of the alcohol Hidden in my closet.
and after all the fun was over and I was left alone with my thoughts
I cried on the shower floor for an hour
I think back to last night and wonder
if I wasn't alone
would I have cried as much as I did?
if I had a little bit more to drink
would I still be here right now?
when you asked me if I was upset
I thought back on everything that ran through my mind the night before
I got that feeling in my throat
like I was about to burst in tears right there on the spot
everything hurts and I'm sorry I can't change any of it. I'm sorry my behavior worries you.
Mar 24, 2014
Mar 24, 2014 at 12:05 PM UTC
well I guess you've moved on already
it still hurts so much
to know that you replaced me so fast
I sit in my room and cry for days
so no one can see the pain
I'm slowly dying on the inside
sometimes I wonder if you feel the same
late at night
when your left alone with your mind
Mar 3, 2014
Mar 3, 2014 at 8:52 AM UTC
I can't get these thoughts out of my head
I'm beginning to realize just what kind of person you really are
And at night when I lay in bed
All I think about is our past memories we had together
You were my best friend
The one person I could tell anything to
But I guess this friendship has come to an end
My emotions are too much for me
I've lost my balance
These tears are too heavy
They slide down my face one by one or all at once
With each passing day it's gets worse
The bags under my eyes grow bigger
My tear stained face can't take this much longer
Someone might as well pull the trigger
I'd rather be 6 feet under than in this nightmare you call life
Mar 1, 2014
Mar 1, 2014 at 1:11 AM UTC
Last night I had a dream
I remembered you so clearly
Happy, I seemed
It was like you never died
You were always too kind
You came to me in a dream
Giving me a message
when I awoke all I wanted to do was scream
Because I couldn't seem to get the image
of you lying dead on the ground out of my mind
Feb 27, 2014
Feb 27, 2014 at 10:25 PM UTC
we went from talking everyday
to twice a week
down to once a week
then never
everything stopped so abruptly
I wasn't sure what to say
I later found out
you weren't always what I thought
it hurts more than you may know
when you don't talk to me
When did our friendship get this low
I was always there
every phone call
every text
every laugh
every tear
and after everything you've done
I'm still here
Feb 26, 2014
Feb 26, 2014 at 10:32 PM UTC
Change
Sometimes it happens daily
Sometimes once every 5 years
I'm still trying to figure out how it could happen in 5 days
Maybe I'm mistaking change for fake
I'll never really know
I still miss the old person before those 5 days
But I'm not so sure I'll ever get that old person back
Feb 20, 2014
Feb 20, 2014 at 8:20 PM UTC
Hating the world is so hypocritical
as most people are
I love it then I hate it
you love me then you hate me
I often wonder what the world would do to me if I chose to neglect it
As I wonder what you would do to me if I chose to neglect you
Feb 8, 2014
Feb 8, 2014 at 1:52 AM UTC
On days like this
I wonder
if I died
Would anybody care?
On days like this
I wonder
if I ran away
Would anybody notice?
On days like this
I wonder
Does anybody really love me?
Feb 5, 2014
Feb 5, 2014 at 6:42 PM UTC
Taking risks
I never thought it end like this
Going down too deep
An eternal sleep
It becomes darker and darker
In desperate need for air
Slowly sinking down
Mentally sending last goodbyes
If god wants me
then he shall take me
I loved you all
Don't morn my fall
For I will call
May 27, 2013
May 27, 2013 at 1:16 AM UTC