Ive been through this Ive been through that
My direction uncertain blind as a bat
I took a path to me most certain
To fight for right and lift the curtain
The longer I stayed the more I lost
Less motivation for more of the cost
Still I was willing to give my all
The more I climbed the more I'd fall
Till finally I looked at that sweet dawn
That perhaps instead of climbing I should spawn
Maybe my life would be desirable
Being myself then something couterfactual
I still want the glory and the praise
But that wont give me true appraise
Being a man who is strong and true
Means I wont need to redo
Life is short
Weeds are tall
Questioning your plight
Means you must fight
Here I am with much joy
This new path is no ploy
Its me and my life
Myself now, my future wife
All I need a simple life
A gun a dog a knife
Rocking a chair on some land
The more I think it is grand
I dont want a nice car
I wont need to go far
For my life is in my possession
My goal is progression
Feb 28, 2012
Feb 28, 2012 at 7:36 AM UTC
When I am weak it is there
It doesn’t judge me
It gives me strength
It’s a problem but it is mine
Where are you when I need help
Your not but it is
That beer or that wine
It never betrays me
It lets me know who I am
When others tell me who I should be
It tells me who I am
It causes problems but it is also solutions
When I seek answers
It is there
It may be wrong
It may be a sin
But no one else can understand
It makes me free
Like nothing else can
My lips and aspirations are boundless
Who knew that all I seek
Is in a bottle of poison
So many have died
So many have been born
It is the solid string of life
It is what it is
It doesn’t lie
This genie is God
The voice of an alcoholic
But in this world of lies
It is true and doesn’t make false promises
With the knowledge of its dead end
So many still seek its knowledge
Even though it has none to give
It brings hate and love
It precedes idiocy and brings wisdom
It’s the answer and the problem
But until I find something better
I will dwell in the devils house
I am not perfect nor am I good
that’s why I defect to ungodliness
I know it is wrong
I know it is sin
Still I seek it
It is strong and yet it is weak
Its strength comes from weakness
Knowing this doesn’t change its hold on me
What does is love and God the true God
Sometimes I don’t see it
Sometimes I don’t realize it
But those around me do
Friends and family help me through it
When they aren’t there I fall back
I seek that poison
I want that sin
Why because im free with it
When the world goes to hell I turn to hell for release
It doesn’t change who I am
It brings it out in both good and bad
Afterwards im both happy and sad
The last of my world is in that last drop
My birth is in that first sip
Whiskey brings me to act
*** makes me to laugh
***** helps me relax
And beer helps me to be loose
Its all bad yet I cannot cease
This is the ballad of an alcoholic
Let none of you judge
For you are alcoholics in your own way
You find your vice and lie
We have found ours its just more acceptable
Lord help me with this for I know it is wrong
Only you can guide me
Until then cheers for I love you more than
This poison that stands between us
Help me lord cause only you can
Only the strength of the father son and ghost
Can fix this mortal fixation
I know your there
So help me before I do something
That might make my service to you in question
Before I sought freedom
Now I seek servitude to you
I have been selfish
Now I seek sacrifice
I love you and all others but you are HIM
Help me in my hours of need
I know you will
I am meant for greater than Jim beam
I am meant for more than Johnny walker
As of now I cannot do it alone
But you are there
And I will pull through
Thank you and God bless
Nov 24, 2010
Nov 24, 2010 at 12:03 AM UTC
As he walked down the street
A voice whispered in his ear
Taunting and teasing him
Belittling and screaming
First in growls
Then in howls
He ignored with all his power
But the voice would not relent
He instructs more forceful now
Break that commandment
Do that sin
You will feel better
You wont get in trouble
Still he stayed true
At home the voice came with vigor
Drink that potion
Sip that poison
His mettle began to weaken
The voice came now with new momentum
He felt himself weakening even more
He was about to give in
He looked about to see what sin to commit
Ideas came in droves
Destroy that
****** this
Then just out of view
A book came to focus
He picked it up
Read its word
The voice ceased
His thoughts calmed
His strength returned
He relaxed and kept reading
And to know surprise Gods word was his saving grace
Nov 22, 2010
Nov 22, 2010 at 6:09 PM UTC
I tried
I tried my hardest but to no avail
And yet every fiber that is me refuses to fail
What has happened to is beyond my control
It is written on every inch of my soul
My promises still ring true
All will always try to get you
Regardless of whether I should
I will always try as hard as I could
It cannot stop you’ve stained my spirit
No matter what I do I cannot **** it
I hate I despise I and loath what I have become
And I don’t know where I am gone or from
Lost in a world that is hollow
No good example to follow
I am embarking on my own trail
Like anything else it’s a new tale
On my own I want no advice
From man woman or mice
This is me defiant to the end
With no worries luck or friend
Bring it on I say to this life
I can take it all pain sorrow and strife
You want it you got it cause here I go
Nothing and no one can tell me no
I am done with others expectations
I’m finished with all lies and hesitations
Here I am back to my desire
My soul is back and on fire
Your done and I want nothing
And my pain has stopped its sting
Here I am take it or leave it
For you and I are not a fit
I realize I will never be good enough for you
But you were never really good enough for me too
So have a good life I wish you the best
Nov 18, 2010
Nov 18, 2010 at 12:47 PM UTC
The other night I had a dream that was too real not to be seen
Sitting on a bus mine heart felt a rush
A head gathered on my chest resting and relieving all your stress
Looking down my heart was warmed a feeling lost but now reformed
My arm draped around your head all your ill emotions have since fled
The single thing I have ever desired is for your angst to be retired
It looks now that it has succeeded my love for you has superseded
Your head sits such at peace my body acting as an armored fleece
My soul mission is your serenity your protector is my identity
My dream is so perfect I let it be leaning back not questioning my harmony
Your with me once again I finish my prayer and say amen
As I wake I am confused my situation I am bemused
Anger overcomes my still determination becomes my will
I will have my dream again regardless the stakes your head will rest no matter what it takes
At the wall I can only stare twas no dream it was a nightmare
Nov 16, 2010
Nov 16, 2010 at 12:03 PM UTC
Angels above fly high above
Looking down with endless love
They see our pain and strife
Helping us throughout our life
When darkest days our to be seen
On angels wings are where to lean
Many times we forget
Our faith becomes broken and split
Yet still they watch and hold us right
Never letting us relent in our fight
When we are weak they make us strong
When were low they sing their song
We stumble we falter and sometimes fall
But just they’re presence can heal all
With sorrow agony and defeat
They’re voice we hear soft and sweet
So never forget when you are low
To look up and see their glow
Nov 16, 2010
Nov 16, 2010 at 11:35 AM UTC
A man and his brother set on a task
An undertaking attempted many times by others
To no avail nothing and no one could succeed
But their vision was to them possible
It seemed that this feat was not meant to be
The world told them to quit
If God wanted it to be he would have giving you the tools
Yet they were undeterred in this goal
They toiled and worked
They slaved and sweated
Failed many times in their task
But together they crawled toward their aim
One day they finally did it
They climbed aboard their creation
And started a new era in the modern world
Finally these brothers did the impossible
Their names were Wilbur and orville wright
Stubbornness is perhaps the greatest gift God has given man
Those who have it are mocked and berated by their clan
Undeterred they continue toward their mission
Never swayed by words blinded by their ambition
When the dust settles everyone sees
The answer to success is this disease
More things have been done
By unrelenting men seeking the long run
Stubbornness may in fact be wrong
Alas anyone can see this burden is carried only by the strong
Nov 16, 2010
Nov 16, 2010 at 11:20 AM UTC
I sit alone in this room
Atmosphere dark and gloom
I close my eyes I ponder
Mind begins to wonder
I find myself in the woods
Alone with natures goods
The sun is high and stunning
A nearby rivers water running
Birds singing and deer prancing
Leaves dashing and shadows dancing
A peace becomes all I am
I am one with all of them
At home in this splendor
My soul becomes soft and tender
My troubles are now receded
Gods will I have conceded
My desires have no merit
For only the weak shall inherit
Perhaps alone now I must be
Whether or not I wish to agree
Mine own hand has put me here
Weakness made my honor disappear
This place plentiful and brilliant
Like nature I must be resilient
For now I will take it in
And realize how beautiful it has been
Perhaps one day I will be in perpetual peace
And maybe my pain will cease
What has brought me here
What has made myself disappear
In the end it only took one
Someone whos beauty I could not out run
All my life love was secondary
An emotion so powerful it was scary
I ignored I refused
For with that my heart could not be bruised
Through all of life tests for me
Conquered them all I still could not see
I have been challenged by the best
Still I did not fall as anyone can attest
Stood strong through all contests
And yet all feelings I suppress
Regardless of the cost
Myself was still not loss
This place teaches so much
A divinity I cannot touch
I’ve never had to come here before
But since you I cant ignore
Through everything I have beaten
All I’ve over come save for this demon
You’re the one I cannot shake
The one sensation I cannot fake
The one thing I did right
I cannot vanish into the night
Bravo you have done what nothing else could
If I could take it from my memory I would
But alas I am broken
With no words to be spoken
My iron clad façade
You put in front a firing squad
Always on guard
My soul now scarred
In the end it only took one
To make me completely undone
Nov 13, 2010
Nov 13, 2010 at 7:24 PM UTC
Four men born
Different and the same
Never meeting each other
Some wild some tame
One man the gift of gab
Another a musical sensation
The third given athletics
The last given determination
The first spoke beautifully
A voice like no others
Coasting through life
Doing nothing for his brothers
He grew like a ****
Top of all deeds
First wave of trouble
He surrenders and recedes
His possibilities are few
His lack of drive decided
The few feats he made
For his fears abided
The second a musical genius
His harmony was perfection
No sound he couldn’t master
His favorite the brass section
As easy as greeting the day
He played the greatest sound
Everyone enjoyed his gift
How his ability did astound
Alas one day he lost a duel
Harder he did not work
He lost time and again
So his talent he did shirk
Never again did he play
For what was the use
Too difficult the work
No lack of an excuse
Now he works in a box
His tasks painless
Never rising from ordinary
His record stainless
The third man a muscular marvel
Body carved from steel
Strong as an ox
His form ideal
In any arena
He would be winner
No blemishes on the outside
Not true of the inner
For one day he met his match
And apart did he fall
Refusing to get up
He decided to crawl
Please they all beg
But his pride was hurt
I quit his reply
He declined to convert
What a man he could have been
Had he only tried harder
Alas he did not
He’d rather be a martyr
The last man had nothing unique
Seemingly nothing great
Life just like the others
Without any special trait
He failed many times
But kept on trying
Fell many times
Yet remained undying
One day it was unbearable
Life gave its worst
Stumbled he did
Feeling cursed
He fought it through
To the very end
Trouble battled back
His will did not bend
During it all he kept going
No talent to grasp
Never did he stop
Until he did gasp
Later in life
He looked about
His trials were over
And he had clout
Because of his tests
He excelled and overcame
He had no regrets
He had no shame
Many tests taught him well
Countless hardships made him tall
Finally his gift discovered
To always rise when you fall
Nov 12, 2010
Nov 12, 2010 at 1:54 PM UTC
He sees it all
Life death devil and God
The entire cosmos fills his mind
His vision becomes broad
No regrets cross his thoughts
He has done his mission
A glorious death
With no submission
It was ordain at his birth
His greatest gift was given
Greater than any other
His destiny written
Ahead he see the gates
Shining in all grandeur
Guarded by creations best
Then comes a force majeure
A face comes to him
A complete offender
Judging and wounding
He is the pretender
Unsure of what to do he fights
Alone as always he battles
But time is different
The universe rattles
A light shines
A voice bellows
The pretender cowers
The noise echoes
The great liar recedes
Let not your spirit sway
The voice commands
I’ve been with you the whole way
Nov 12, 2010
Nov 12, 2010 at 10:38 AM UTC