Saturday, March 14, 2015 an angel was sent to heaven
and oh god was the next day horrible.
Getting that phone call at 6 in the morning from my dad saying you're gone.
I was at my friend's house and i woke her up from my crying.
God, i wish we were closer and i would've known.
I went to church that day, that Sunday morning i figured out.
and i thought about you. Later, i went to my aunts, your mom's.
Everyone was there.
I held your mom so tightly and just cried.
I didn't know my cousin had an addiction. You were only 18.
Why did you have to go so young?
Drugs are such a horrible thing, but i know you're happy now with your dad.
I'm so sorry, Brittani.
I love you so much, i know you're much better now though. I just wish you were still here.
You'll always be my angel.
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015 at 9:09 AM UTC
5:26 a.m and you're still on my mind
how i wish you'd go away
i am crazy for you and i am going insane
you are the drug that i need and the drug that i want
but i am invisible to you
i am nothing
5:41 a.m and i still want you
i want you here, legs intertwined with mine
do you even know how lovely you are?
caress your pale lips against mine
how i wish you would notice me
but i am invisible to you
i am nothing
Jan 22, 2015
Jan 22, 2015 at 10:23 AM UTC
I am fragile you should know
please don't wrap my mind with these lovely words
these lovely words that weren't meant for people like me
because i will use that and I will believe that you have feelings for me
please don't make me believe you love me
when i actually mean the littlest to you
but no matter what,
if you were to stab me, i would apologize for bleeding on your shirt,
i would still kiss you
now you know why i'm so fragile
Jan 22, 2015
Jan 22, 2015 at 10:21 AM UTC
seemed so easy to forget about everything
I felt so numb but no one even noticed
now you're catching me down here smoking
sitting here feeling so **** hopeless
seemed so easy to just find myself decaying
to just conceal myself from the world
now you're catching me here praying
to a God i don't believe in
it seemed so easy to just pick up that blade
that blade that would change everything
i wish i were so easy to save
now you're catching me here bleeding
bleeding out everything i had gave
seemed so easy to just heal
for it all to just go away
now i'm catching you here holding me, saying "i know everything seems so surreal"
"but i promise you, i will always stay"
2 years later and it feels so easy to remember
so easy to remember where and when all these marks came from
now i'm catching you here saying "I still remember November"
"I remember how you were oh so numb"
Jan 22, 2015
Jan 22, 2015 at 9:42 AM UTC