dana-mulder - Hello Poetry

I miss you the way I miss the time we were alive in. My heart longs for you and my innocence in the same manner. My stomach twists in contempt for every feeling that you don’t give me. Don’t you see? The loss of innocence is so much more than paying bills and paying for gas. So much more than taking a pill every night and needing to have a plan. It’s losing the ability to hear a high pitch that is both pleasing and displeasing. It’s not enjoying an education with the cost in mind. It’s knowing. Knowing your sister is probably depressed and your mother is, too. Knowing there’s no safe shot to a simple destination. And worst of all, It’s Knowing that love is something you learned about when you were innocent and with the high-pitched frequency. It’s Gone.

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Aug 24, 2014

Aug 24, 2014 at 12:22 AM UTC

dana-mulder

Gone Like My Innocence

I miss you the way I miss the time we were alive in. My heart longs for you and my innocence in the same manner. My stomach twists in contempt for every feeling that you don’t give me. Don’t you see? The loss of innocence is so much more than paying bills and paying for gas. So much more than taking a pill every night and needing to have a plan. It’s losing the ability to hear a high pitch that is both pleasing and displeasing. It’s not enjoying an education with the cost in mind. It’s knowing. Knowing your sister is probably depressed and your mother is, too. Knowing there’s no safe shot to a simple destination. And worst of all, It’s Knowing that love is something you learned about when you were innocent and with the high-pitched frequency. It’s Gone.

29

You were not a role model. You were hilarious but ****** You were happy but dark. You suffered. You fought. You played the waves of a deep depression. Eventually, you lost. You put on a show. The show. You made yourself into anything to get a laugh. You created an icon. Of comedy. Of love. Of strength. Of comedy. You were not a role model. But you are a pillar of selflessness. Your shadow shines bright. A figure of darkness Echoing what it means to live Until time is up. I don’t know you behind your mask. I don’t know what resides in you Birdcage heart. But, What Dreams May Come is up to you now, old friend.

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Aug 11, 2014

Aug 11, 2014 at 7:57 PM UTC

dana-mulder

In Memorial of the Great R. Williams

You were not a role model. You were hilarious but ****** You were happy but dark. You suffered. You fought. You played the waves of a deep depression. Eventually, you lost. You put on a show. The show. You made yourself into anything to get a laugh. You created an icon. Of comedy. Of love. Of strength. Of comedy. You were not a role model. But you are a pillar of selflessness. Your shadow shines bright. A figure of darkness Echoing what it means to live Until time is up. I don’t know you behind your mask. I don’t know what resides in you Birdcage heart. But, What Dreams May Come is up to you now, old friend.

29

“Like, Love, Just, Know, Time.” The top five most-used words on a simple poetry site. Like The ocean, Your curves are crashing waves that pull me under Your thoughts are the unknown depths one can only hope to explore one day. Love Once, twice, one hundred times before realizing everything is relative and everything is only relative for me to you. Just What do you want from me, anyway? Know You are beautiful to everyone But the definition changes just like it did from you to me. Time Wounds. All heals.

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Aug 11, 2014

Aug 11, 2014 at 12:18 AM UTC

dana-mulder

Statistics in Words

“Like, Love, Just, Know, Time.” The top five most-used words on a simple poetry site. Like The ocean, Your curves are crashing waves that pull me under Your thoughts are the unknown depths one can only hope to explore one day. Love Once, twice, one hundred times before realizing everything is relative and everything is only relative for me to you. Just What do you want from me, anyway? Know You are beautiful to everyone But the definition changes just like it did from you to me. Time Wounds. All heals.

24

Listen. Listen to me very carefully. You’re the reason he’s going to hurt. You’re the reason he’s going to regret everything about the girl with the curly hair and the voice. You’re the reason I chased after him today. Because I can’t stand to hurt him, even if it might be what’s right. Listen, You ****** fool. You’re the reason I can’t let go. You’re the reason I’d rather watch my own heart break than his. You’re the reason I'll die without someone worth dying for. Because I can’t stand the thought of hurting anyone else the way you hurt me.

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Aug 7, 2014

Aug 7, 2014 at 11:36 PM UTC

dana-mulder

Listen, Mr. Reason

Listen. Listen to me very carefully. You’re the reason he’s going to hurt. You’re the reason he’s going to regret everything about the girl with the curly hair and the voice. You’re the reason I chased after him today. Because I can’t stand to hurt him, even if it might be what’s right. Listen, You ****** fool. You’re the reason I can’t let go. You’re the reason I’d rather watch my own heart break than his. You’re the reason I'll die without someone worth dying for. Because I can’t stand the thought of hurting anyone else the way you hurt me.

15

You called me this time. I've never made a poem rhyme. I spoke to you in threes. I got weak in the knees. A sure sign of my anxiety. I hoped it would show through, But, you said you felt the same way too. Once the conversation was over, I was glad for two things for sure. One: We weren't completely through. And two: Thank God my phone is waterproof.

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Aug 6, 2014

Aug 6, 2014 at 12:48 AM UTC

dana-mulder

Technical Difficulties

You called me this time. I've never made a poem rhyme. I spoke to you in threes. I got weak in the knees. A sure sign of my anxiety. I hoped it would show through, But, you said you felt the same way too. Once the conversation was over, I was glad for two things for sure. One: We weren't completely through. And two: Thank God my phone is waterproof.

12

When I want to cry, I read your poetry. Out loud. I revisit the feeling of unwantedness. Unwantedness, like that’s even a word. “But it is!” you’d tell me and once again and again I’d feel stupid about what I didn't know yet. Even if it was not true.

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Aug 5, 2014

Aug 5, 2014 at 12:03 AM UTC

dana-mulder

Out Loud

When I want to cry, I read your poetry. Out loud. I revisit the feeling of unwantedness. Unwantedness, like that’s even a word. “But it is!” you’d tell me and once again and again I’d feel stupid about what I didn't know yet. Even if it was not true.

9

A beautiful head of hair offered her a drink. She had to drive home. High cheekbones and a leather jacket asked her to dance. She was never a good dancer. Tall and lean made eyes from across the room. She turned away. Friendly and endearing made small talk on the stool next to her. Weather. Music. Occupations. “So, are you… in a relationship?” She looked down at her hands. A white line against bronze skin seared with absence. “No,” finally,”not anymore.”

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Aug 4, 2014

Aug 4, 2014 at 6:25 PM UTC

dana-mulder

Tan Lines

A beautiful head of hair offered her a drink. She had to drive home. High cheekbones and a leather jacket asked her to dance. She was never a good dancer. Tall and lean made eyes from across the room. She turned away. Friendly and endearing made small talk on the stool next to her. Weather. Music. Occupations. “So, are you… in a relationship?” She looked down at her hands. A white line against bronze skin seared with absence. “No,” finally,”not anymore.”

14

Sometimes I feel a breeze and I think you’re watching me. My clothes hang on my body they way you used to take me in. This blade feels cool the way your bedroom floor felt on my skin. The blood runs down my legs the way your fingers used to.

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Aug 2, 2014

Aug 2, 2014 at 11:43 PM UTC

dana-mulder

The Way It Used To Be

Sometimes I feel a breeze and I think you’re watching me. My clothes hang on my body they way you used to take me in. This blade feels cool the way your bedroom floor felt on my skin. The blood runs down my legs the way your fingers used to.

4

I packed it all away. Every note, trinket, labour of love. I had to got through it all first. Told myself it was more closure. Closure. Closure. Closure. I’ve had a year to close around, no, away from you. I packed it all away. Your handwriting is even harder to read through water water drowning water.

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Aug 2, 2014

Aug 2, 2014 at 11:31 PM UTC

dana-mulder

The Forbidden Cabinet

I packed it all away. Every note, trinket, labour of love. I had to got through it all first. Told myself it was more closure. Closure. Closure. Closure. I’ve had a year to close around, no, away from you. I packed it all away. Your handwriting is even harder to read through water water drowning water.

17

If anyone asks why my stomach trips, it’s unbalanced why my eyes shift around your name, clearly the light flickered why I have to go so soon, I’m late for lunch why my hands shake, I’m chilled. If anyone asks why my heart flies, then it’s finally free.

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Aug 2, 2014

Aug 2, 2014 at 2:26 AM UTC

dana-mulder

FYI

If anyone asks why my stomach trips, it’s unbalanced why my eyes shift around your name, clearly the light flickered why I have to go so soon, I’m late for lunch why my hands shake, I’m chilled. If anyone asks why my heart flies, then it’s finally free.

12