I am the offspring chosen to face our past
My grandparents could not cry and their parents could not grieve
Their gardens were empty and their stomachs were knotted
The twist so tight they sank into the ground while the walls rotted
Goodbyes were stolen, identities not built
Time spent living lives not truly felt
Generations before me, beneath me
They have chosen to lay in rest
But the burden does not remain away
Instead it sits with me
It is by my parents blinded rage or my grandma's quiet disapproval
That their uneasiness in their agnony is all of ours to feel
You see, this pain it demands to be seen
It engulfs the children, the lovers, and the sea
Embracing a storm trapping us into repeated beliefs
Legacy blinded by grief has no room to grow until we shed the layers of our mothers forgotten tears,
She was not allowed to cry but I shield her from uncertainty, the world is senseless but I sacrifice charting this land unsighted
Feeling this pain that has drowned generations before engulfs my existence
I scream into the dirt as I break us from this loop of silent agreement where survival is key
I bawl to my blood what they did to you was not moral and the lost mourns have been freed
Because I will always remember what couldn’t be seen is etched in our veins,
Our families blood is my blood that remains
My eyes may sting with ghost but I swore of an existence leaving the world less scorned,
My touch vigilant of the surfaces it reaches,
I welcome my future kin and sing him a story that there is a life worth living and it will forever be freed
Feb 2, 2024
Feb 2, 2024 at 2:11 PM UTC
The heat isn’t the same since the sun set away from today prematurely, and while some say ****** others explain the death of a star is inevitable
My body won’t be the same temperature but at least the sky gets to keep all the suns dust to experience the wonderful that once burned in the flesh
I wish you could see what you’ve left
You’re soul so light
I’m forever lit because you lived as bright as you wanted to without worrying about the inevitable explosion that every strong fiery star experiences so thank you
You made my world right even if the sky’s not as bright
But I believe tomorrow will be alright because the sun once lived, now I’m forever warm even when it’s dark
Oct 23, 2018
Oct 23, 2018 at 1:18 PM UTC
I’d like to say I didn’t start chain smoking at 23
That I did good deeds Instead of littering when my trash leaks
How I didn’t sleep in well past three and I was always clean
I’d like to say I had reasons to get out of bed , I just ignored the existential dread
But the grapes within me don’t grow well and
As much as I’d like to say I quit smoking yesterday
I feel shrunken with what I’ve done
So I poured my heart into a glass but instead of pairing it with a steak I decided I was too bitter to compliment the taste
I tried to make Butter for The plate but I know everyone is scared of fat since they’re always telling us that
I want my body to be the temple that sees the sun,
I want to sing with crowds and live among the nuns while needing none
Instead I just leave my bed with a dent unable to pay rent
I’m a crisis at mid life
23 with no right
I’m a bottle gone wrong, left to pair with just stares
But maybe, maybe soon they’ll look away
And I can pave my own day
Oct 23, 2018
Oct 23, 2018 at 1:17 PM UTC
You made me believe in days that never dragged
How I'd be with the person from my dreams
Whispering just breathe
While counting to three, letting us be
But mornings always rise
And my perceptions were never a winning prize
Time always made me tell it wasn't you and me,
Because life had me by throat
And you were gone before I could yell, just yet
Now I wait til the morning with no sunset so I can have met the man behind my belief in the love that has me asleep
There was a dream I once could reach
And the days never seemed to preach
Now I just lay awake
Picturing the beauty you use to make
with me
Mar 24, 2018
Mar 24, 2018 at 10:15 PM UTC
Just because,
I sometimes feel the air you once whispered To remind myself
How rare,
To have met the eyes that sang louder than the voice
Covering the internal crimes and shading your external cries
Making me wonder why
but also understanding
The man who could not comprehend
that theres a life beyond our twisted minds
And some futures that don’t have dead ends,
No matter how hard you tried
You couldn't see the sky,
Though I've forgiven and made amends
Its for you, I live
Always feeling the wind and searching for your skin
It's for you, I speak the words we always meant to give
And for that, I no longer hold it in
Feb 5, 2018
Feb 5, 2018 at 6:11 PM UTC
My skin may be bruised while you continue cruise..
but seconds later
I stand withheld
Because you see, wounds heal
And your fingertips are no longer felt,
My neck free from your belt
I rebuild
So Thank you for giving the monster a borough in the back of my head
It's only so narrow
But now its filled, I have to thank you,
Thank you for making room
For the flowers to grow
Forever out of your reach
I can only heal after getting away from the leach you coast as
My skin was once blue
But after leaving you which was long overdue
I see being me is the only thing I need
And how I'm finally free
Jan 7, 2018
Jan 7, 2018 at 7:38 PM UTC
When I was younger I used to pray
That my family would move out of the heats way
And my heart would be saved
From all the Sunrays
I wanted to leave before the summers got to me
And dried all the water left inside to see
And destroy everything I once believed
Because the desert was once a sea
Now left to be
Just the Suns relief
But I will never be the flower that grows by the trees
I only know the desert rat
That dwells inside of me
Jun 7, 2016
Jun 7, 2016 at 8:23 PM UTC
You could say
That I beat your name
Into most of the day
Usually pointless thoughts
Or sometimes detailed ideas
That you make come alive
If only you were here
For longer than this trite of hope
You could even say
How madly in love I've been
With the thought that my head
Creates for us to blend
Or maybe it's this insane trend
I've started, falling in love
With the friend
Who doesn't notice
Our mouths are too close
To speak truths
That we once wrote
Feb 8, 2016
Feb 8, 2016 at 5:47 PM UTC
If you take me now Away from this future
That has only allowed
Nothing I prefer
As everything disappears
I weep I weep
Dreaming to differ
From dreams that offer defeat
Can you save them mister?
Something I once sought
Has only learned to rot
In this graveyard of vision
That's lead to failed missions.
So I am here
Escaping the day through you
Yet I am still pretty near
The fear of my failed connections
That have never stayed true,
Will it all repeat?
Feb 8, 2016
Feb 8, 2016 at 5:36 PM UTC
You once told me
Something so sweet
About how I could change
Those shadows that hover deep
I believed your wide-eyed stories
Your reassuring truths
But once I saw your teeth
They started to rot
I soon became the filth
Neglected under your tongue
They thought what a waste,
It wasn’t a cigarette burn
You had them put me out
You had them chanting
I was the cancer
That came in flooding
Only it was you that was fleeting
Having them believe
I was a habit worth quitting
Nov 23, 2015
Nov 23, 2015 at 7:51 PM UTC