I feel like ******* **** and I don't know how to change that because my heart is being ripped open again and I don't think I can survive this repetitive surgery someone please save me
Nov 2, 2014
Nov 2, 2014 at 5:51 AM UTC
And everything I'd been holding in
for a long time came out in sweet, painful relief. And the tears kept rolling, and the emotions kept coming, and the thoughts of everything I'd fought to forget came rushing to meet my eyes. And my face was wet with the continuous beat of my tears hitting the ground. And I gave into the quiet sadness.
Jul 5, 2014
Jul 5, 2014 at 6:01 AM UTC
jesus christ i can't think straight he loves someone else and this smile on my face is burning my skin there's nothing i can do to make it go away there is this lightness in my body begging me to open up my skin and i don't know if i can ignore it any longer but oh it feels so good to have my heart ripped out again
Jun 20, 2014
Jun 20, 2014 at 11:37 AM UTC
Are my words not sweet, and
my sentiments not worthy?
Is my smile too dull, or
my thoughts too many?
Is my hair too knotted, or
my eyes too vacant?
Is my smile too worn, or
my heart too withered?
Are my lips too thin, or
my affection too languish?
Is my mind too troubled, or
my personality too difficult?
Am I not lovely enough?
– billiondays
May 15, 2014
May 15, 2014 at 12:35 PM UTC
The funny thing is, I understand those stupid, cliche songs and movies now. I get that stupid feeling where your heart jumps out of your chest when you see "him". Because everytime I see you, my heart thumps in a hard, scary way. I feel like my heart might burst from my chest cavity. But no, this feeling doesn't come from joy of seeing you. I'm terrified of you. I can't seem to stop seeing you. And it horrifies me. Why won't you just leave, leave my brain, leave my memory. Just please, go away. I don't think I can hold myself together any longer to stay away from you.
May 15, 2014
May 15, 2014 at 12:33 PM UTC
I'm scared because..I think I'm in love with you. But I'll never have you and you've done it all and I'm just an empty shell and you're the whole sky so how can I compare to your brilliance when I could never give you as much? How can I even think of the possibility that I could ever have you when I'll never see you again and you'll never have me? It's silly and sad and I really don't need it but I need you and isn't that the same thing? What is so wrong with me? All I can do is ask questions and I'm going insane because no one, not even myself can answer them and now I know I'm falling into this black pit hell they call love.
May 5, 2014
May 5, 2014 at 12:38 PM UTC
It's midnight and all I can think about is his curly hair, and the way his lips curl when he tells a joke and the way he'll never look at me and how somehow deep down when I said I wouldn't do this, here I am, leading myself on into thinking this has a happy ending it doesn't dreams don't come true it can't come true how can I be set free when he is the one anchoring me.
Apr 28, 2014
Apr 28, 2014 at 3:07 AM UTC
I know you believe you have nothing left to lose,
but strength is still something you choose.
And if you keep medicating with your cigarettes and *****
you'll never be able to break out of your depressive blues.
I know you believe that you were born to die,
but you'll die before your time if you let life pass you by.
It won't be easy, but you have to try
to throw away your harmful habits and wave them goodbye.
I know you believe you're broken inside,
but I promise there is still hope where the pieces lie.
Your struggle does not have to be something to hide
because there will always be people willing to stand by your side.
I know you believe in darkness,
so by default, you must believe in light.
And if you could just try get through another night,
I promise that one day, you'll be all right.
Mar 26, 2014
Mar 26, 2014 at 11:58 PM UTC
I saw you last week for the first time in a long time.
You looked good, happy.
And I had to wonder if
All this time, you were thinking of me at all.
Because the fear and grief you caused me when my eyes laid on you has left me even more scarred.
I'll never be rid of you, will I?
Mar 25, 2014
Mar 25, 2014 at 8:38 PM UTC