After all this time,
you still haven’t left my mind
I still spend every moment wondering if you’re thinking of me too.
After all this time
I still torture myself thinking that you’ll call or maybe text
and I just stare at my phone for hours.
After all this time
I know I shouldn’t. but I still love you
and I’m still yours.
Mar 1, 2015
Mar 1, 2015 at 8:23 PM UTC
no offense mom but i don’t want to exist anymore
i want to disappear into the sky
thanks for raising me
but the world is turning on me.
i'm going up there,
the big magical cloud castle that is somewhere
between the stars in the sky.
i'll be with you and thats where i belong.
we will be up upon the world so high
sparking like diamonds in the sky.
i'm leaving you and this is goodbye.
Feb 27, 2015
Feb 27, 2015 at 10:09 PM UTC
why can't i ever feel normal?
why can i never feel whole?
why can't i feel normal for once in this worthless life time?
someone help...
Feb 26, 2015
Feb 26, 2015 at 12:45 AM UTC
Memories of you and i
burn into my mind
like a wild fire,
leaving my brain scorched
and covered in thick dark ash.
Seeing you
turns my eyes into a river
after the rain,
over flowing and flooding the plains.
You ripped my heart
into microscopic pieces
like it was paper,
you did it so effortlessly.
You are gone and whole,
I am here and falling apart.
Feb 23, 2015
Feb 23, 2015 at 1:31 PM UTC
I only smoke at night because,
in the daytime i can see what i'm doing to myself.
Jan 19, 2015
Jan 19, 2015 at 6:35 PM UTC
Why can't I be happy?
Is it because i don't know what i want?
I don't know if i want to be alone or in a crowd.
I don't know if i want to be in quite or where it is loud.
Is it because i don't know where i want to be?
I don't know if i want to be with you or with someone new.
I don't know if i want to be in a club or in a church pew.
Is it because i don't know what it is like to be me?
I don't know what i like, who i want, or where i would like to be.
So, how can i be happy if i don't know myself?
Or even have thoughts of ending myself?
I assume that i cannot be happy.
Maybe this is me.
Jan 18, 2015
Jan 18, 2015 at 10:33 PM UTC
the pills made me feel something when the boys didn't.
Jan 16, 2015
Jan 16, 2015 at 12:34 AM UTC
I no longer remember
the number of freckles on your shoulders
the shape and place of every mole.
I no longer remember
your lips in longing
or *** twice in one day.
I no longer remember
my soul
bound by nothing
lying awake alone
eyes closed tightly on an
ice cold January morning.
Jan 13, 2015
Jan 13, 2015 at 11:18 PM UTC
If I were to say;
the devil & god both
rage within,
I would render myself
dishonest.
For despite blind faith
you have never heard
me surrender,
to the devil or god.
The agnostic in me
did surrender, to a name
still unknown.
An internal war
battles of wills I so fought
pleading & praying;
*save me from what I have
so become.*
A war rages within
thirsty blood red, slaughter
a house for the dead.
I fall at your feet, lick the blood
splashed & spilled;
a slaughterhouse will never
be a clean resting place.
I kneel; genuflect
at the
shrine of gods
& monsters.
I whisper;
*What will be?
What will become of me?*
Laughing, spitting,
in the face of anguished despair.
A war rages within.
Nor devil nor god may see,
I am yours for slaughter,
surrendered for you
in this wasteland
my mind created when
you
were first
gone.
© Sia Jane
"I’ll be your
slaughterhouse, your killing floor, your morgue and final resting, walking around with this
bullet inside me."
Wishbone by Richard Siken
Jan 13, 2015
Jan 13, 2015 at 11:18 PM UTC
Sleep is sometimes, just a way of escaping.
You don’t have to be constantly reminded of the things that went wrong.
You don’t have to think of all the memories
and the things you left unsaid.
Just for a little while,
you are unaware of all the things that make you sad.
You are in a state of calmness,
a place where you don’t worry about anything.
But, the second you wake up
everything is brought back to the sad reality.
You suddenly remember where you are
and all the things that have happened.
Jan 13, 2015
Jan 13, 2015 at 9:09 PM UTC