moves like ash through the air
off a balcony
Me
of course I’m coarse like gloves
for falconry
My
stomach is the water of the
Balkan Sea
Her
cadence is the snow in Fuji
mountain’s spring
She’s
a tree I would down just
to count the rings
When
she moves her mouth in any
amount it sings
She’s
When.
she’s
when,
silent sirens sing
on violent violet islets
and seems
all the world’s a dream
I
am
the
breeze the sea sends
and seas uneven
sinks ships
clips wings
indecent
is ants
in the lips
of her honey drip
ings
swings
whips
glist
ning
eclips
ed
miss thing
get with
hitch
ings?
drip
queen of kings
miss
myth
I’m miss
ing
can we just slip
into
exist
ing
got you in my grip
my grip
is
tight
ning
Feb 27, 2015
Feb 27, 2015 at 8:33 PM UTC
Today was my 21st birthday.
Truth.
Daily cycle.
This is pretty much my life.
Robin Williams commits suicide and the media blows up
Today is National Suicidal Prevention Day and no one knows about it.
Every day of my life
tired
Optimism feels like a delusion
Don't be too hard on yourself today...
What depression isnt
I think this every day I wake up and every night I go to sleep
If we treated all illnesses the way we treat mental illness
Walking home after a bad week and saw this written on an overpass that
I used to regularly contemplate jumping over:
"I like your shirt."
Even though I felt like killing myself I went to this art therapy class
and made something
I have it hanging in my room and whenever I feel down, I just look at it
The best revenge of all...live
I need help but I don't know what kind
I tried to ask my family for help and their answer was God
I went and returned my supplies today.
I'm leaving you guys.
I love you guys.
I may get no awards. I may not get recognized.
But hey, I'm the happiest person you know.
Dec 30, 2014
Dec 30, 2014 at 3:08 PM UTC
Through dreary windshield and tired eyes
I let you in to my path, paved and distraught
Only to find you now ahead of me, just as expected
It would seem that no good deed goes unpunished
But is this unfair
Or just the natural order of the world?
Mar 1, 2014
Mar 1, 2014 at 5:56 PM UTC
it's feels great to inhale.
breathing and smoking, forgetting stories and suppressing ideas.
or just breathing.
and exhaling. remembering.
and making a faint noise, like the last humming vowel of the last word written on the back of your school photo that you gave me saying "para el amor de mi vida, para que me recuerdes. siempre"
and it does feel good letting you hold onto the tip of my tongue.
you can stay there as long as you like.
Mar 1, 2014
Mar 1, 2014 at 5:54 PM UTC
I did not meet Death at his door,
But greeted Him in a dream.
I was told He was disappointed,
As He so longed to see me.
I failed at something simple:
To fall asleep forever;
But then I woke up next to you
And you didn't.
Feb 27, 2014
Feb 27, 2014 at 4:23 PM UTC
i could tie a noose
with the apologies i'd write
to everybody that i love.
maybe i could tie bandages
with apologies around every scar
i've left on someone else.
so many "sorry i left you's,"
and "sorry i'll leave you's,"
"sorry i started this"
"sorry i ended this"
"sorry i can't"
"sorry i"
so many sorrows
it's like i could tie a noose
Feb 11, 2014
Feb 11, 2014 at 9:37 PM UTC
WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU LOST YOUR WAY?
WHEN REAL LIFE STEALS THE HIGH YOU LONG TO CHASE
YOU CAN'T CATCH HIM, ELUSIVE DRAGON THAT USED TO INTOXICATE
BACK WHEN YOU WERE PASSIONATE, BEFORE YOU WERE TRAPPED IN THAT AWKWARD SPACE
BETWEEN FOLLOWING SILLY DREAMS AND RESPONSIBILITIES
TOXIC NAUSEA'S FILLING ME AS THAT BLADE THAT DROPS UNFORGIVINGLY
IT'S AN IMPOSSIBILITY TO REGAIN THE STRENGTH OF THOSE DAYS FILLED WITH ANGST
WITH THE FLAMES THAT BLAZED INSIDE OF MY EYES TAMED
I CRAVE FOR THE TASTE OF THOSE HEIGHTS THAT I BRAVED
FOR THESE WORDS TO TAKE LIFT AND FLIGHT FROM THE PAGE
WITH SIGHT BEYOND SIGHT BEFORE MY SKIES FADE
BUT WITH WINGS MADE OF WAX THAT COLLAPSE IN THE LIGHT OF DAY
I'D HAVE TO FLY IN THE NIGHT GUIDED BY BLIND FAITH
AND FAITH IS LIKE A MAGIC TRICK THAT I CAN NO LONGER CONJURE
SO I JUST WANDER, CONQUERED, WORK TIL MY HANDS AND PALMS HURT
AND PONDER THE MONSTER THAT FOLLOWS ME, A STALKER
THAT SAUNTERS BEHIND ME REMINDING ME HOW I FALTERED
Feb 11, 2014
Feb 11, 2014 at 9:35 PM UTC
I'VE SMOKED MY FRIENDS DOWN TO THE FILTER.
DRAGGED MYSELF TO THE GUTTER.
WITH THE BUMS AND THE BROKEN,
THE WEARY AND DOWNTRODDEN.
THE DREGS OF MY CITY'S TEACUP.
AND AS NIGHT FALLS, THE VERMIN COME CRAWLING.
LIKE ROACHES IN A DARKENED KITCHEN.
OR AN OPEN GRAVE.
SO.
WITH SUNKEN EYES AND A HEAVY HEART,
I BURNED MY LAST BRIDGE TO THE PAST.
DISTANCE, ABSENCE, LOST.
Feb 11, 2014
Feb 11, 2014 at 9:34 PM UTC
HEY GAUGED EAR HAND TATTOOED
LOVER OF THE CYMBAL CRASH
I FINALLY HEARD JAWBREAKERS'
ORIGINAL VERSION OF "DO YOU STILL HATE ME?"
I LIKE SET YOUR GOALS' VERSION MORE
BUT IT'S GOOD TO KNOW WHERE IT COMES FROM
WHERE ALL THINGS COME FROM
I GOT MY TONGUE STABBED AND A TRAIN TUNNEL ETCHED
INTO THE DITCH OF MY ARM THAT DAY, IT ALL FELT SO GOOD
I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE IT CAME FROM
BUT ITS MY TRACK AND NOT YOURS
I LIKE IT MORE
BUT IT'S GOOD TO KNOW
Feb 11, 2014
Feb 11, 2014 at 9:33 PM UTC
SPECKLES ATOP HIS HAND HE TELLS ME,
!I CAN'T HIT MY ARMS ANYMORE.
I CAN'T EITHER
PATRON SAINT OF DRUG TRAFFICKERS
OUR DRIVE INTO THE CITY
STOMACH ROT AND SWEAT BEADS
THE DRIVE HOME SPEED ***** AND
DREAMS
YOU'RE NOT TRYING TODAY BROTHER
AND TOMORROW IS OUR DEBT TO PAY
DO WE NOT STAND WHERE GREAT MEN STOOD
AND DISSOLVE IN THE BURNING LIGHT
Feb 11, 2014
Feb 11, 2014 at 9:32 PM UTC