His mouth tasted like cigarette smoke and lies.
He told me of my beauty and the freckles in my eyes.
He held me like all the broken pieces could just be remade.
Out of his mind shone a darkness that enveloped me; that remained.
With teeth as sharp as the truth
he would kiss me through
to the otherness that is me.
With hands as lithe as the night sky
he would lead me toward sin;
toward the part of me always hidden within.
With lips as supple as the wings of a bird
he would whisper to me
"oh, my sweet, sweet love, just give in to me; just let it be."
And I did.
With each kiss.
With each touch.
With each whisper.
With each cigarette.
I gave in to him.
To sin.
To night.
To life.
He was the death of me but he taught me how to live.
Feb 3, 2016
Feb 3, 2016 at 3:50 PM UTC
In the perpetual midnight hour
of a life too long
comes a sudden pause
that takes even the most strong.
In the stars
and in the trees;
in the wildest fantasies
the rhythm of my heart
seeks to know
the reason only yours to own.
The stories of your presence
has tainted my ears;
your sweetness has left my heart in tears.
The talks travel wide,
they travel deep,
as if through sunlight,
into my darkest soul,
they do seep.
The light, it burns; it scatches and sears.
It cuts right through these sculptured bones
- out come my secrets and my fears.
And as it does the work it wants,
my mind keeps running further off.
You deserve more than this.
You deserve more than me.
But just this once I must plead...
...come to me now,
for I am ill.
Come to me now,
if only for my good will.
Alas.
In the words of birds
and in the songs of gypsies
I have looked and found none;
save for knowing: in the last and final hour,
this life and its meaning,
without your touch, will ever sour,
making my world come undone.
For there is no more a song to sing;
there is no more left for a sigh to breathe.
In the darkness of the night,
as my truest soul seeks light,
I catch the last breath and hold it near,
and think "If I don't find you soon,
the worst, I do fear".
Dec 22, 2015
Dec 22, 2015 at 9:54 AM UTC
We are all doing things
we said we'd never do.
Inhaling poison while staring at bright flamed rings
and loving boys with eyes of the bluest blue.
We are all doing things
we said we'd never do.
Living without breathing; without dreaming
and going by unnoticed but screaming.
We are all doing things
we said we'd never do.
For instance, you are loving her
and I'm thriving without you.
We are all doing things
we said we'd never do.
But my rebellion is forever eclipsed
in your immaculate halo-ed hue.
Oct 17, 2015
Oct 17, 2015 at 4:44 AM UTC
I wish I knew a time
where Time should still;
so I could ask her
what she wants in her will.
I wish I knew a time
where I could share tea with Love;
so I could ask him
if I will ever be enough.
I wish I knew a time
where Luck was at my door;
so I could ask them
how I can ensure I will be more.
I wish I knew a time
where your eyes were meeting mine;
so I can tell you
that with you I find myself on cloud nine.
Oct 12, 2015
Oct 12, 2015 at 2:06 PM UTC
I want to run away to a brighter day.
I want to see myself be okay.
I want to live a care-free life.
I want to slit my wrists with a kitchen knife.
I need to feel like I can breathe.
I need to know no one wants to leave.
I need to feel the night fade to light.
I need to see my red blood, burn bright.
I have to know that you will not forget.
I have to be able to pay my debt.
I have to be the spark in your fire.
I have to bleed so you don't think me a liar.
There are many things in this world
that have me fold in on myself;
that have me, on the floor, curled.
And the only way out,
that I know is, into the world,
let them bleed; let my demons go.
Oct 6, 2015
Oct 6, 2015 at 1:38 PM UTC
At night, when the stars gleam,
I see you in this particular dream.
You are across the street
with soft snow building around your feet.
My hands grow cold as I open a cafe door.
I slip on ice and slide across the floor.
You rush forward as if you were waiting for me.
I get caught in your eyes as my body meets its to be.
You speak and my ears sing.
I giggle and my hair gets caught in your ring.
When the door closes
duplicate snowflakes land on our noses.
We feel the spark
and a fire lights up the lonely dark.
We become friends and our fondness grows.
We are lovers, losing ourselves in linen-fresh throws.
Our lips get kissed.
Our bodies share breath.
We learn what it is to be missed.
We learn of everyone who had ever left.
And as the dream comes to a close,
we are dancing in our street, rosy nose to rosy nose.
I wake with the sense that my soul met its mate.
I don't know you
and there are many doors until I will
but know,
for our little dance in our street,
I will never dare be late.
Oct 5, 2015
Oct 5, 2015 at 7:51 AM UTC
As the raindrop
rushed down
to fall
on my hair,
I imagined
you knowing
that I know
you don't care.
As the water
drenched
my chestnut
strands,
I saw you
kiss her
and exchange
your wedding bands.
As the liquid
soaked
through
my scalp,
I closed my eyes
to not
completely
extinguish your bulb.
As the ice
entered
and turned
my heart,
I gripped
at the memory
of your eyes,
cold and hard.
Your ice
destroyed
the only trust
I had;
forever now
life will be lived
lonely;
never again glad.
Oct 3, 2015
Oct 3, 2015 at 6:39 PM UTC
When I write
you don't reply.
When I call
you ignore me.
When I think of you
I know you're not thinking of me.
I feel like I wasted
enough time.
I want to not need you
anymore.
Oct 3, 2015
Oct 3, 2015 at 6:30 PM UTC
Tie me up
with a bright red bow.
Go and tell them all
how much I did not know.
Place pebbles on my lids,
with bright blue eyes to stare.
Find and reveal my children
in galaxies of dreams I could not bear.
Wrap my blue body, tight,
for the red fire to burn.
Put me in the heat, white,
so I can finally take my turn.
But, please remember...
...cover my wrists;
just knot silk around them; red with ties.
...cover my scars
so no one may
know
I wanted to die.
Sep 30, 2015
Sep 30, 2015 at 3:57 AM UTC
I smiled for the first time in a year
the day I met you.
I laughed for the first time in a year
the day I told you about him.
I giggled for the first time in a year
the day I fell in love with you.
Yes,
life with you is fun.
Sep 22, 2015
Sep 22, 2015 at 8:05 AM UTC