i’m allowed to miss you and still choose myself
this is what it feels like to be starving
Feb 23
Feb 23, 2026 at 3:20 PM UTC
i knew you were gone forever
when i saw our spotify blend
was down to "1 save"
Jan 16
Jan 16, 2026 at 1:56 PM UTC
i lost myself trying to find you
but you didn't know where you were in the first place
Jan 16
Jan 16, 2026 at 1:54 PM UTC
there will come a time
where you’ll love so hard
that you’ll come home before dark
you’ll call on lunch breaks
you’ll be late just to snuggle a bit longer
you’ll take a day off to relax
you’ll cease to lust over a screen
you’ll maintenance her car before it breaks
you’ll have a hand to hold in church
you won’t feel trapped
you’ll bring home little gifts
you’ll fix things without being asked
you’ll look forward to starting a family
you’ll be excited to buy a ring
you’ll open up
you’ll be vulnerable
you won’t shut down
and it won't be with me
because our nervous systems collide
like two ships in the night
and the bough had already broke
when i pushed you too hard
in the wrong direction
Dec 21, 2025
Dec 21, 2025 at 1:40 AM UTC
it took me nearly a year
to remove the alcohol card from my wallet
belonging to the movie theater
where we had our last date,
before everything fell apart
you’d think it’s strange
how vividly i remember it
i offered you some of my cherry beer
to which you declined,
one year premature
and that’s when the curtains closed
a self-proclaimed alcoholic in the making
denying a quick sip
before the dim lighting of the screen
as if there was something to hide from
apart from your lack of interest
the reason i remember it?
because we never went on dates
i was surprised you’d made the effort
and set aside a few dollars to spend the night with me
they say you know before you know
and i knew
clutching onto my beer
that you had no desire for,
identical to myself
but i didn’t want it to be true
and there i sat
watching the picture unwind
falling apart,
two at a time
Dec 5, 2025
Dec 5, 2025 at 4:55 PM UTC
now i wonder if you ever loved me
or if it was just a façade to get laid
i can’t imagine the world
of a man who wanted me to be his wife
speaking to me with words of ice
laughing about how i never cared
and how i made you out to be the problem
when all i wanted was to fix you
but you couldn’t give me the time of day
let alone your heart
i let my love for you consume me
and now i feel like a worm
in the core of a rotten apple
surrounded by decay
because you didn’t care
and you never will
and i will constantly be reminded
that i cared too much
you keep reminding me of why i left
switching between hot and cold
one day you love me and you’re sorry
and the next i’m nothing to you
you can talk all the **** in the world
but one thing you can’t take away from me
is that i won’t rewrite the story
or rearrange the faults
to satisfy my mood of the day
i’d rather boil my blood
than be as stone cold as you are
Sep 29, 2025
Sep 29, 2025 at 2:56 PM UTC
i ran into your best friend
at the gas station
eyes interlocked from across the room
not a word or a head nod exchanged
but there was once a time..
where he sat at my kitchen table
laughing until the wee hours of the night
but now i’m just left with the thought of you
Sep 27, 2025
Sep 27, 2025 at 11:15 AM UTC
it was damaged for so long
barely hanging on
you’d shrug your shoulders and keep trucking
“i can’t afford to fix it”
“i don’t feel like it”
“it’ll be fine”
day by day
it rattled on
incomplete and begging
for an ounce of attention
audible but forgettable
but you,
you only have interest in fixing what’s broken beyond repair
this poem isn’t about a heat shield
Sep 26, 2025
Sep 26, 2025 at 7:27 PM UTC
a vortex of stairs
spiraling down
to feed the mind
laugh until we think we’ll die
weightless embrace
beside the wood sky
pretzel sticks after the night
nothing could feel more home than you
Sep 5, 2025
Sep 5, 2025 at 11:16 PM UTC