Nobody can understand what Im saying
Not even them
Jack cant, he wont even try
Why wont you try
I cant get them out of my head
Left Right
Jack can, he wont share the secret
I need saving, not the same way you do
Nobody can understand what Im drawing
Why are you making me do this
Red crayon on top of black ink forming
our bodies
Oh, say, I cant see
anymore
The redness in my eyes has taken
over
The darkness in this house
that isn't even ours is becoming
more than it can handle and
we cant be here anymore
Heaven Hill cant save us here
JJ, you deserve better
than
your father
Eagles dont bring freedom
They destroy it
Im sorry you dont have your barbies anymore
Right Left
No guns
allowed in my house
You know what I said, Jack
Not in front of JJ
Cole doesnt know whats going on, Jack
Hunger, Im hungry
Its hungry
For me
Why wont you try
to understand what Im saying
Left Right
alone
Aug 27, 2015
Aug 27, 2015 at 3:29 PM UTC
during the summer of the worst summer of my life
i found pieces of myself scattered across the kitchen
as i found peace with my mother who put a couple
pieces of lead down her throat
in the moment i found out we replaced our tile with
her blood i added my tears
as i mopped the floor with what remained as a mop stick
with dark hair just like my mother's
my dad moved to New Orleans immediately after
leaving me to attend to the house and what remained of my soul-less sister
who never knew someone quite as weak as our mother
i may have found peace but i don't forgive her for making me wipe up the handle from the frying pan of her blood she made sausage and eggs for us every sunday before we watched the browns
who made us believed we actually wanted to **** ourselves
she actually wanted to **** herself
and the cleveland ******** gave her an excuse to ****** her family
by murdering herself and leaving everyone left in the agony
of wanting to know what we did wrong
my dad never found peace
instead
he found a 19 year old in New Orleans who made him forget each night
when she poured soco down his throat so he can pour himself into her
my sister never found peace
but
she did find a barbie doll set my mother gave her last summer
on her birthday right before we watched the fireworks
i found peace
because i knew i was set up for failure
i found myself
that summer because i knew i'm stronger than 2 adults who raised me
my dad may have found New Orleans
and his sober-less serenity
but i found myself
mopping our blood red tile into the state of oblivion
marking the distance it took from cleveland
to New Orleans
to bring my dad my sister's barbie doll set so he could tell her
barbie isn't our mom now
Oct 21, 2014
Oct 21, 2014 at 4:18 PM UTC
It’s not the best thing in the world,
But surely it is not the worst.
It’s not like massive sunburn, or the plague,
Or the Cubs ******* again, or anything related to Pearl Harbor.
It’s not like breaking all the bones in your body, or hospital burning down,
Or a serial killer on the loose, or impatiently waiting on someone.
It’s like time stops, but everything moves around you.
It’s like the clouds float around without caring.
Your body yields at the floating bodies and furniture and food laughing at you.
The fingers move across the keyboard invisibly typing words you don’t even know.
Sounds of the keys pounding because your mind is cramping and screaming for help.
It’s like being frozen in Hell because of all the things you say all the time,
When it comes to writing something, all you can do is hold a match
And hope your mind melts words onto the page.
Oct 21, 2014
Oct 21, 2014 at 3:48 PM UTC