clavisttraurig - Hello Poetry

you were mine, when the lights were off, or when you were too blind to realize, or when you were too in love to be aware, that it wasn’t the person. it was the feeling.

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Apr 13, 2022

Apr 13, 2022 at 2:05 PM UTC

clavisttraurig

—mine, were.

you were mine, when the lights were off, or when you were too blind to realize, or when you were too in love to be aware, that it wasn’t the person. it was the feeling.

6

[001] Hello? Are you there? Can you hear me out? The bed was made by wood, and i feel it cracked under my body, in the urge of breaking, can you help me to fix it? /This person is currently out of reach, try again some time/ [002] Hello? Are you there? Please hear me out. The scarecrow was almost tumbling down, and i saw it flapping aimlessly, in a dire need of hold, can you help me to fix it? /This person is currently out of reach, try again some time/ [003] Hello? Please tell me you’re there. I want you to hear me out. The broken glass was scattered on the floor, and i can’t move without puncture myself, can you help me to walk? /This person is currently out of reach, try again some time/ [004] Hello? You’re there, aren’t you? I need you to hear me out. The maze is too dark, i can’t find a way out, i hear a faint scream, and the cold is eating me out, ripping my skin till they get ahold of my bone. Please don’t let me die. /Hey, if you’re hearing this tone, i’m currently unavailable, but please do leave me a message, I’ll try to get back to you as soon as possible. Have a great day/ [005] Hello? I know you’re there So, you did receive those messages, didn’t you? I couldn’t fix the bed, it was broken. I couldn’t fix the scarecrow, it was broken as well. I punctured myself, it was pretty bad. I was dying, the cold eventually got ahold of my bone. But yeah, that would be all. Be happy, will you? /Hello? Hey, i’m sorry/ The number you’re trying to reach is unavailable. Please try some time again later. /I’m so sorry/

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Apr 3, 2021

Apr 3, 2021 at 2:40 PM UTC

clavisttraurig

—hotline.

[001] Hello? Are you there? Can you hear me out? The bed was made by wood, and i feel it cracked under my body, in the urge of breaking, can you help me to fix it? /This person is currently out of reach, try again some time/ [002] Hello? Are you there? Please hear me out. The scarecrow was almost tumbling down, and i saw it flapping aimlessly, in a dire need of hold, can you help me to fix it? /This person is currently out of reach, try again some time/ [003] Hello? Please tell me you’re there. I want you to hear me out. The broken glass was scattered on the floor, and i can’t move without puncture myself, can you help me to walk? /This person is currently out of reach, try again some time/ [004] Hello? You’re there, aren’t you? I need you to hear me out. The maze is too dark, i can’t find a way out, i hear a faint scream, and the cold is eating me out, ripping my skin till they get ahold of my bone. Please don’t let me die. /Hey, if you’re hearing this tone, i’m currently unavailable, but please do leave me a message, I’ll try to get back to you as soon as possible. Have a great day/ [005] Hello? I know you’re there So, you did receive those messages, didn’t you? I couldn’t fix the bed, it was broken. I couldn’t fix the scarecrow, it was broken as well. I punctured myself, it was pretty bad. I was dying, the cold eventually got ahold of my bone. But yeah, that would be all. Be happy, will you? /Hello? Hey, i’m sorry/ The number you’re trying to reach is unavailable. Please try some time again later. /I’m so sorry/

31

Kenapa diam? Matamu berisik ingin berbisik—perasaanku ini asing, mengusik—tapi kamu tahu, kan? Kamu masih diam. Kenapa menjauh? Aku bukan rumah tak bertuan—aku ini sudah dirumah—tapi kamu salah rumah, kan? Kamu diam lagi. Kenapa mengelak? Setiap kenangan ada di angan, kamu langsung meninggalkan ruangan—jangan, jangan kamu, tidak boleh kamu—dirapalkan terus menerus seperti denting jam dinding tua diujung jalan, kamu takut, kan? Kamu diam lagi. Kenapa menyerah? Rautmu tidak terbaca, saat iris kita beradu lewat kaca. Begitu pula dengan langkahmu, yang berhenti setelah ujung sepatu kita bertemu. Inginku kita bertemu lagi besok pagi, nyatanya mulutmu hanya tahu elegi—karena aku maunya dia, makanya aku meninggalkan ruangan, cukup dia—rasa ini mati sebelum sempat mendapatkan hati.

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Feb 6, 2021

Feb 6, 2021 at 1:48 PM UTC

clavisttraurig

—bukan aku.

Kenapa diam? Matamu berisik ingin berbisik—perasaanku ini asing, mengusik—tapi kamu tahu, kan? Kamu masih diam. Kenapa menjauh? Aku bukan rumah tak bertuan—aku ini sudah dirumah—tapi kamu salah rumah, kan? Kamu diam lagi. Kenapa mengelak? Setiap kenangan ada di angan, kamu langsung meninggalkan ruangan—jangan, jangan kamu, tidak boleh kamu—dirapalkan terus menerus seperti denting jam dinding tua diujung jalan, kamu takut, kan? Kamu diam lagi. Kenapa menyerah? Rautmu tidak terbaca, saat iris kita beradu lewat kaca. Begitu pula dengan langkahmu, yang berhenti setelah ujung sepatu kita bertemu. Inginku kita bertemu lagi besok pagi, nyatanya mulutmu hanya tahu elegi—karena aku maunya dia, makanya aku meninggalkan ruangan, cukup dia—rasa ini mati sebelum sempat mendapatkan hati.

13

Aku pernah diajak pulang. Senyumnya seperti figura kecil di ujung ruang, Sentuhannya familiar seperti mainan usang. Aku tidak mau diajak pulang. Tangannya hangat seperti teh yang baru dituang, Tatapannya halus seperti selimut yang sudah dibuang, Tapi sekarang belum saatnya pulang. Aku ditinggal pulang oleh mama. Katanya dia tidak bisa berlama-lama, Katanya dia masih orang yang sama, Yang walaupun raganya sudah tidak bisa diajak bercengkrama, Balut hangat cintanya akan selalu jadi rumah.

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Feb 2, 2021

Feb 2, 2021 at 12:45 PM UTC

clavisttraurig

—rumah.

Aku pernah diajak pulang. Senyumnya seperti figura kecil di ujung ruang, Sentuhannya familiar seperti mainan usang. Aku tidak mau diajak pulang. Tangannya hangat seperti teh yang baru dituang, Tatapannya halus seperti selimut yang sudah dibuang, Tapi sekarang belum saatnya pulang. Aku ditinggal pulang oleh mama. Katanya dia tidak bisa berlama-lama, Katanya dia masih orang yang sama, Yang walaupun raganya sudah tidak bisa diajak bercengkrama, Balut hangat cintanya akan selalu jadi rumah.

12

You painted the road with your eyes. Through the endless colors and shadows, i see you everywhere. In the brightest color, under the blinding sunlight and the wicked heat, you splash the road with your frowned lips—‘why is it so hot today’—and furrowed brows, in which i’d replied—‘that’s how it is’—almost too fondly, too revealing. In the darkest color, under the flickering city lights and the frigid night, you stroke the road with your vulnerable gaze—‘i’m scared, of everything’—to which your fingers fidget unconsciously, i’d replied—‘it’s okay, you’re okay, you will be’—definitely too fondly, obliviously revealing. In one of the very rare dull days, you’d painted the road with no colors at all that got me wondering if you knew i see the way you color the road and one day you stopped to paint and whispered instead—do not fall in love—i heard. Now i see you and hear you everywhere, splashing black and grey on the road and whispered—do not fall in love with me, not me—over and over again.

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Oct 18, 2020

Oct 18, 2020 at 12:22 PM UTC

clavisttraurig

—do not, do you hear me?

You painted the road with your eyes. Through the endless colors and shadows, i see you everywhere. In the brightest color, under the blinding sunlight and the wicked heat, you splash the road with your frowned lips—‘why is it so hot today’—and furrowed brows, in which i’d replied—‘that’s how it is’—almost too fondly, too revealing. In the darkest color, under the flickering city lights and the frigid night, you stroke the road with your vulnerable gaze—‘i’m scared, of everything’—to which your fingers fidget unconsciously, i’d replied—‘it’s okay, you’re okay, you will be’—definitely too fondly, obliviously revealing. In one of the very rare dull days, you’d painted the road with no colors at all that got me wondering if you knew i see the way you color the road and one day you stopped to paint and whispered instead—do not fall in love—i heard. Now i see you and hear you everywhere, splashing black and grey on the road and whispered—do not fall in love with me, not me—over and over again.

6

I see you in between the fragments of city lights. Neatly concealed in every nook and cranny, merging in various spectrums. Eliciting a glimpse of epiphany, a struck of a nearly forgotten memory, playing in a solid second before completely vanished, perished among the fast cars and glimmering skyscrapers. The brief longing of our rendezvous furiously contradicting with our diminishing presence in each other’s lives, which frankly, is inevitable. The notion of me having you in some part of my life was as tempting as having you in every part, yet every laugh reminds me to take what i get. Again, i see your shadow slipping in the dimmed lights. Hesitantly announcing its appearance, of what i once treasured so dearly, disappear in a blink of an eye, clearly in the urge of fleeing away, in a dire need of vanishing, yet adamantly reminding me of the gentle slope of your nose beneath the soft glow of street lamps, emerging a twinkle on your orbs. Nonetheless, i watch your silhouette skirting around the buildings, gradually decreasing as i walk further and further, every step reminds me to bid my farewell in a valedictory laugh which I’ve never been prepared.

0

Jul 15, 2020

Jul 15, 2020 at 12:29 PM UTC

clavisttraurig

—in between the city lights.

I see you in between the fragments of city lights. Neatly concealed in every nook and cranny, merging in various spectrums. Eliciting a glimpse of epiphany, a struck of a nearly forgotten memory, playing in a solid second before completely vanished, perished among the fast cars and glimmering skyscrapers. The brief longing of our rendezvous furiously contradicting with our diminishing presence in each other’s lives, which frankly, is inevitable. The notion of me having you in some part of my life was as tempting as having you in every part, yet every laugh reminds me to take what i get. Again, i see your shadow slipping in the dimmed lights. Hesitantly announcing its appearance, of what i once treasured so dearly, disappear in a blink of an eye, clearly in the urge of fleeing away, in a dire need of vanishing, yet adamantly reminding me of the gentle slope of your nose beneath the soft glow of street lamps, emerging a twinkle on your orbs. Nonetheless, i watch your silhouette skirting around the buildings, gradually decreasing as i walk further and further, every step reminds me to bid my farewell in a valedictory laugh which I’ve never been prepared.

5

Yang dipegang tidak ingin diikat, inginnya pergi menjemput belikat. Bukan rahasia kalau belikatnya adalah hidupnya, nanti dia tidak bisa terbang, katanya. Yang diberi hati tidak ingin jatuh hati, dia sudah jatuh, katanya. Sedikit lagi sampai, katanya. Sedikit lagi yang dicarinya digenggamnya, katanya lagi. Yang diinginkan bahagia juga inginnya bahagia, untungnya. Tapi bukan untuk satu sama lain, sayangnya. Tidak apa-apa, kan yang penting bahagia, katanya. Dia tidak mengerti, sayangnya lagi. Dia tidak mengerti, dia ada menghantui sudut ruang, nyata dan berakar, langkahnya tak bergravitasi keluar sangkar, inginnya berputar melingkar, tetap tinggal, tidak meninggalkan. Perasaan ini bermassa, dia sudah pasti tak memberi asa, sudah biasa. Sudah biasa, tidak apa-apa. Jadi dia dibiarkan kembali duduk di sudut ruangan.

0

Jun 18, 2020

Jun 18, 2020 at 1:33 PM UTC

clavisttraurig

—yang duduk, yang tinggal.

Yang dipegang tidak ingin diikat, inginnya pergi menjemput belikat. Bukan rahasia kalau belikatnya adalah hidupnya, nanti dia tidak bisa terbang, katanya. Yang diberi hati tidak ingin jatuh hati, dia sudah jatuh, katanya. Sedikit lagi sampai, katanya. Sedikit lagi yang dicarinya digenggamnya, katanya lagi. Yang diinginkan bahagia juga inginnya bahagia, untungnya. Tapi bukan untuk satu sama lain, sayangnya. Tidak apa-apa, kan yang penting bahagia, katanya. Dia tidak mengerti, sayangnya lagi. Dia tidak mengerti, dia ada menghantui sudut ruang, nyata dan berakar, langkahnya tak bergravitasi keluar sangkar, inginnya berputar melingkar, tetap tinggal, tidak meninggalkan. Perasaan ini bermassa, dia sudah pasti tak memberi asa, sudah biasa. Sudah biasa, tidak apa-apa. Jadi dia dibiarkan kembali duduk di sudut ruangan.

7

Hatimu, Jangan kau patah-patahkan terus, Retakannya sudah tergerus, Jangan lagi kau bakar sampai hangus. Air matamu, Jangan kau tumpah-tumpahkan lagi, Dia kan sudah pergi, Kasihan kau yang rugi. Kalau sudah begini, Sekarang siapa yang tak memiliki nurani? Dia yang menginjakmu dengan berani, Atau aku yang masih berdiri disini? - Untuk dia yang hanya menginginkan yang salah, jangan lagi.

0

Mar 4, 2020

Mar 4, 2020 at 8:40 AM UTC

clavisttraurig

—jangan lagi.

Hatimu, Jangan kau patah-patahkan terus, Retakannya sudah tergerus, Jangan lagi kau bakar sampai hangus. Air matamu, Jangan kau tumpah-tumpahkan lagi, Dia kan sudah pergi, Kasihan kau yang rugi. Kalau sudah begini, Sekarang siapa yang tak memiliki nurani? Dia yang menginjakmu dengan berani, Atau aku yang masih berdiri disini? - Untuk dia yang hanya menginginkan yang salah, jangan lagi.

13

Aku merasakan puisiku telah mati, Saat setiap baris frasanya tidak sampai ke hati, Tetapi dilumatkan di dasar api.

0

Jan 6, 2020

Jan 6, 2020 at 4:41 AM UTC

clavisttraurig

Lenyap

Aku merasakan puisiku telah mati, Saat setiap baris frasanya tidak sampai ke hati, Tetapi dilumatkan di dasar api.

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