I take in your love like fossil fuels
The guilt will **** me faster than
The illness
I wonder what it’d be like to be free
From all of this
Where would you put the sun
If you did not have to hold it up
For me
Every day
Would you rest?
Jan 26, 2020
Jan 26, 2020 at 12:16 PM UTC
fear keeps me here
stagnant and sorry
vindictive and caged
I waited for years
for an apology
or a reason, at least
I let the vultures
pick through parts of me
you left out on the street
scattered and shameful
harrowed and hungry
waiting for anything
Dec 10, 2019
Dec 10, 2019 at 9:25 PM UTC
my brain
is soft,
I let you in
watching car wrecks like fireflies
on your tight suburban street
smashing sounds
reverberate through
the trees,
I catch them with my teeth
I hold them in my jaw
and still feel nothing
I crave to be
the engine charred
sprinkled on the crosswalk
smeared across the asphalt
burning bright enough for someone
to notice me
Dec 10, 2019
Dec 10, 2019 at 9:17 PM UTC
I will wade until my knee caps break
From the weight of the ocean
Month after month in the same exact place
I wish there was a way out
I can’t catch my breath at all from the last two years
And you can’t hear me screaming
It isn’t your job to, anyways
But I wish there was a way
Dec 10, 2019
Dec 10, 2019 at 7:48 PM UTC
Let go
Of my exit strategy
The day I met you
There was nothing to run from
Only a home to come to
Sep 27, 2019
Sep 27, 2019 at 4:28 PM UTC
I want to hold your hand
And fill in your worry lines with
Permanent marker, make
Your bed just how you like it
And ruin it right after
I want to lay on your chest,
Talk in between laughter,
Laugh in between ***
Reorganize your desk and
Mess it up again with little
Sticky notes that let
You know
That I love you so much
I wanna make you lunch
But not because you can’t
Make it on your own,
I want to spend my free Time
Making my heart into your home
Sep 7, 2019
Sep 7, 2019 at 8:08 PM UTC
Unattached narratives
Charlie makes the same face every time they tell a joke they know they probably shouldn’t. They shift their jaw a tiny bit to the left, their eyes to the right. They start to crack a smile, intermittently, but it doesn’t poke through easily. They don’t let anyone know they think they’re funny. But they know. They’ve made this face a lot lately, they seem lighter; they seem fuller. I could watch the same face and hear the same corny joke every day for the rest of my life, and laugh like it was new. I could watch them smile until my eyes burned out. I wanted this to be unattached but I feel their joy in my chest, and I’m so thankful for that. I’m so thankful for this.
Sep 7, 2019
Sep 7, 2019 at 8:05 PM UTC
There is a pink haze over the city tonight
I’m sitting in a parking lot, texting you in a panic again
I’m sorry I haven’t gotten it together yet
At least we caught the end of the sunset
I love the way the full moon hits your cheek
Please don’t get tired of me
I took a picture of the orange,
I spent all day in bed
I don’t want to waste my life away
I don’t want you to grow sick of me
Sep 7, 2019
Sep 7, 2019 at 8:01 PM UTC
I hope you forget about me when you move away and start over.
I hope you don’t bring me up anymore, and that bottling it all inside eats you alive.
I hope you never tell your new friends about me, I hope you think of me every night.
I want you to hurt like I did. I healed, thank god. And I moved on. But I live every day with the guilt you gave me.
Sep 7, 2019
Sep 7, 2019 at 7:59 PM UTC
I have a picture of you,
23, surfing under our sheets to
Climb your way up my chest
Into the cavities that lay beneath,
Your teeth against my neck and your hands holding me,
I have a picture of you in my head
That plays across my brain every
Night and I am reminded again, and again
How good it is to love you the way I do
Raw and unusual and passionate and true
Aug 18, 2019
Aug 18, 2019 at 3:11 PM UTC