It's like a stupid, ******* game of Jenga or building blocks.
A proud child will spend all their time building, constructing, carefully, and tediously placing one block atop the other.
A big beautiful tower.
Glowing, the child basks in the glory and contentment of having created such a beautiful thing from such hard work.
But alas, the tower crashes and falls.
Blocks spilling everywhere and in all directions.
Complete annihilation.
The child is devastated.
It must begin from scratch.
Picking up and also having to find where the pieces may have landed.
Tears in her eyes, she recuperates and she grudgingly must begin anew.
An entire new tower from the debris.
I am the tower.
I am the child.
I must begin again.
Apr 1, 2019
Apr 1, 2019 at 1:05 PM UTC
I dream of her and she is happy
She is smiling and she is running
free and without a care in the world
The sun is beaming, the water is cool and it reflects the bright sun
everything is a dream and things are the way they should be
I take care of you and no one can touch you
I am complete and you know you are loved
The dream has to end and I wake up to see your picture by my bedside
You are smiling and you are a small child
I will never forget those days we had
I wish I could be with you again
Apr 1, 2019
Apr 1, 2019 at 12:41 PM UTC
I have been living in what seems to me like the middle of nowhere
I have been studying the great masters of theology, literature, and philosophy.
I have been living in and out of people's lives and finding that in this I am still discovering more of myself.
(This is very far from the notion I previously held that I can only discover more of who I am through other people.0
But how? How? How?
I have been losing best friends. I have been losing independence. I have been losing ties with family.
Yet the world goes on and I go with it. I go with it to find what new seas are open to me and in doing so I am diving -- going into the deep -- and swimming into an endless abyss of wonder.
I am scared. Very scared. Terrified.
But I fear nothing.
Oct 19, 2015
Oct 19, 2015 at 1:09 PM UTC
Will school make me a better person or bitter and successful?
Have I really forgiven and have the deepest bleeding wounds begun to heal?
Will the man I sigh for hear my cry and pity me with a date?
Or will I wait around endlessly until I realize "Oh, its much too late..."
This and so much more troubles my eager mind
but Oh, I wont bother you anymore
No, I haven't got the time.
Dec 1, 2013
Dec 1, 2013 at 1:20 AM UTC
I cant get you out of my mind and
I know i've been untrue
you're like the battery life on my phone
I see it going down
but I do nothing about it
instead I just use up all the juice
Nov 19, 2013
Nov 19, 2013 at 2:50 AM UTC
It is getting easier to be able to see the curves and crevices in my body
with my own two eyes
Not with the wandering eyes of the man on the street
Not with the teary eyes of love long gone
and not with the abusive perverse eyes that once stole my dignity
No! I am beginning to see, my vision is returning.
I can see what is before me and love it with the love that I was born with.
Thanks so much.
Nov 10, 2013
Nov 10, 2013 at 3:09 AM UTC
You know and I know and they know that there are those people that you have known about for the longest time
Those people who don't even exist in the back of your mind,
but you know that their existence is...
well...
in existence.
I am becoming friends with those kinds of people, people that make their nests in the deepest shadows of my subconscious.
Interesting human beings to say the least, each with their mandala-like moves and quirks that I have not yet memorized.
These are the people I am choosing to spend the moments that I have on earth with.
Interesting, don't you think?
Nov 4, 2013
Nov 4, 2013 at 1:34 AM UTC
You were the fingers
that strummed my strings
the fingers that played beautiful melodies
with my aid, and my aid only
in my heart these songs would proclaim glory as as wonderous of that of an ever living God
songs of comfort and eternal love...
Now, my sweet boy, you have gone and I hope it is not far
without a word and without an explanation you have left my humble abode
Now all that is left is the memory of you and your sweet, warm love.
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 7:59 PM UTC
only god can judge you for what you have done to me
only god can judge you for what you have done to this family
only god can heal these wounds
only god can leave me in the darkness to face it on my own
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 6:14 PM UTC