christopher-victor-coia
American
Just love to write(when I write I imagine myself screaming every word from the pit of my lungs, spit ejecting across the room. Please keep that in mind. I am screaming at you, all of u) / Take it as it is. You might think pessimism, vulgarity, or self pity. I give it as my reality. This is my mind unfiltered. I write what I feel
Sedation
The only docility I know
A fire fueled by memories
Ascends from below
Impossible at most times not to show
Mangled
Self description at its best
The weight of mjolnir is firm on my chest
A punishment of the mind cursed to never rest
A crippled crow confined to its nest
Self pity
The most disgusting trait of all
Oh, but how much sweeter when you finally fall
Enthralled in a thro that ended at a wall,
A ceiling, a room, enclosed on all sides
Panic sets in human self has died
Animal
I never viewed it the same again
Aging, remembering pain within
Enhancing a view point that wont give in
I hate it all now. The earth, these people, this body I live in
Jun 23, 2016
Jun 23, 2016 at 1:29 PM UTC
Lit, the future remains so dully so
unknown intentions from a being cold as stone
reveling in itself for its own muse
itching and obsessing over self abuse
ultimately a swollen recluse
a chance to escape unlike no other to refuse
i try to seem happy but whats the use?
im tired of living and have the right to choose.
Dec 23, 2014
Dec 23, 2014 at 9:32 PM UTC
An effort insurmountable
Yet it is all in vein
Playing with emotions.
Ask again and again
A hatred for a process
With no logic to comply
A longing for a end
I want to ******* die
Pulses breathe throughout the skin
Permeating conscious, biome
subterranean origination, it blinds
Clenching teeth until they break
Blood flows although barely awake
Pouring and filling the sphere where I reside. I awake with it full, drowning in the red dye
Jul 15, 2014
Jul 15, 2014 at 10:02 PM UTC
Every time when I awake
I feel it lingering, turns realism fake
What is the point when I’m so full of hate
Only myself does this love negate
I try to do what I can
But when gazing in the mirror it’s an image I can’t stand
Telling myself I’ll never be a man
A *** a leech destroyed his own plans
What is this image in the reflection
I want to **** ****** and maim anything it hopes for redemption
A creature that deserves nothing more
But a needle, deadly injection from a filthy *****
Wanting to die, breathing no more
At night I lay and weep
One thing in my mind the awareness keeps
I don’t want to wake up
After I fall asleep
Feb 26, 2014
Feb 26, 2014 at 10:36 PM UTC
The eyes can only see so much
Clinging to the awake, bursting, craving the meaning or touch
Another realm is upon us all
Waiting to antagonize, victimize, in dreams as we fall
Eternal
Images are imprinted in my brain
No words can define
They have no name
Torn, but still one
Maimed but all here
A blinding light will permeate the skin
Showing the knowledge
That was hidden from within
A crave for the awake, crave for knowledge, any hope that we can take
Fake, this consciousness is hollow
Little did they know it’s what’s inside they should follow
Search
They said it was all so fckng easy
Do well and please me
Punished forever if you tease me
Cannot withstand what lies ahead
Ignoring the teaching of those before
Anything questioning a noose strangling your head
Has no concept of what it’s like to be dead
Is there ever such a thing
I disagree; forever souls search to be one
The true meaning of this place, is that we were all along
Feb 26, 2014
Feb 26, 2014 at 10:34 PM UTC
This ******* thing will never fade
Ink gets thicker and thicker as I rip out each page
Undying rage
Has plagued my mind
I can’t help but hate everything that I find
My so called friends I resent them all
Users and losers I am glad they don’t call
I WANT TO CRUSH
Everything in my way
Hands clenched, veins are pumping
I can’t wait to inflict damage
Animal is all I can relate
How could there exist this much hate
Is it my fate because it feels so right
My anger consumes me and the only way I see is too fight
Every bruise is just a target
Every blood dripped can only fuel my lust for more
God this feeling is so pure
Animal instinctive I can no longer ignore
What for?
Why is it so? I don’t understand why I can’t let go
I’ll use any term anyway I ******* please
Criticize what you want but you’ll be begging on your knees
Please, don’t **** me is what I heard
The idea of sparing you to me is absurd
Crush
Your skull with a ******* bat
Who is laughing know after I did that?
The best thing to watch was your head cave in, fills me with such joy. My face still holds the grin
But again the rage surfaces
The only thing I truly know
If I keep it in any longer, I’m going to ******* blow
Come closer
Feb 26, 2014
Feb 26, 2014 at 10:31 PM UTC
Everything goes right through
Though the amount to wonder, to misunderstand, is all but misconstrued
A fight, a struggle, the start of a feud
All from a comment not meant to be rude
This moment did last a while
The memory of what happened is locked in a cranial file
A spewing concern blasphemed from this brain of bile
The ******** keeps coming in a never ending pile
What did this scream?
These lies are a figment, small parts of a dream
I hear your words and it’s not what it seems
I know you all too well; you’re just a ******* fiend
I stuck out and put it on the line
You don’t give a **** it’s not worth your time
Lie some more and tell me its fine
But I know the truth and you think I’m ******* blind
The call is yours and the one that’s made *****
You can only ride so long on your train of luck
When the horse gets burned it will start to buck
But like I said you don’t give a ****
Feb 26, 2014
Feb 26, 2014 at 10:25 PM UTC
This monster is deranged
A plague, faceless killing without a care
Bleeding itself dry
Repulsed at its own stare
No other hate could compare
But the words of an angel who is so fair……
Subside
A calm ocean breeze
BROUGHT IT DOWN TO ITS ******* KNEES
Only a solace alike could end all war
BUT NOTHING OF THIS MAGNITUDE HAS EVER HAPPENED BEFORE
Amazed, she is perfect and beautiful and the only
The only
One who will calm this beast
As it lays vulnerable yet not afraid of what its actions bequeathed
Bleed, it may deserve it but this monster doesn’t care
A million years pass by in a second of her stare
Unaware of what pain used to be
The rage inside did finally die
For now….
For now this abomination will continue to rest
Maybe gaining strength, preparing for the next
This harp playing angel circles him forever
Falling in love with the calm
Immortal tranquility seems so strong
Being risen from the earth so cold
Hated so much throughout his life
Who could’ve ever foretold?
“Not I” Breathed this calm monster
“Not I”
Feb 23, 2014
Feb 23, 2014 at 9:20 PM UTC
Undeniable, completion
What can be said?
I proved you wrong again and again.
Followed
Stalked, hunted, preyed upon
Forever
Forever a meaningless walk with no destination
Empty mind, forever
What are you?
Surely a creature even as feeble as you must have some goal. Walking towards somewhere
No goal, no where
Is this real?
No need for any form of sustenance, 10 days, 30 days, 78 days, 116 days later I still follow. This earth is larger than I could have ever imagined. Walking east, 2000 days have passed still walking.
An eternal desert barren of life, geographical differences, and sand
Rocks, dirt clumped too large to be considered sand
My compass is right according to the position of the sun. East is still the direction
No where have we arrived
An emptiness so lonely I am it now, the only other thing here is it. To which I continue to follow without question
Forgotten long ago why I follow this being, so long. I remember only to follow. Never looking back
If never seen this creatures face. It has the back of a ***** man. Rags for clothes, dreadlocked brown hair down to halfway its back
It cannot be human
I must observe closely so I run to it. So does it. As if it knew I was going to run the exact time I take off. Same speed, I’m not gaining a ******* inch. Stop
Breathe
So does it
Hmm…
Continue
Back always faces me, it knows I follow
It must
It seems it is always watching something.
I see nothing in front of it
I drop my water jug, as I pick it up I realize it is empty
Barren
Dry
Hot to touch.
How long has it been since it was full?
I don’t remember filling it, or even using it
I check my pack for something
Where is it?
It has been on my back this whole time I thought
Gone
My hands are empty
The jug has disappeared
What?
I have been focused on this person for so long. Have I lost need for sustenance as it?
Why?
Where have I been walking?
How long has it really been?
I’ve seen the sun set
I’ve dreamt of catching this person, reaching a destination. We fall asleep at synchronized times, as do we awake
Or do we?
I cannot remember fully the sun setting. Or raising for that matter it stays directly above my head blistering my scalp
It’s hot; the heat is merely getting to me
Continue
Wait, I panic
Pinch
I’m not dreaming
I must shout to this person
I don’t remember the last time I spoke, if I ever could. Mouth is as dry as this desert
“H-H-HELLO!” I crackled.
Someone is screaming behind me
I haven’t looked west since I started
The same being is facing its back to me when I turn around
I turn around same image, same distance.
What?
I look at my clothes, rags, barely covering my ******
The people that surround me are covered in the exact way
When I look at one then the other their hair moves in such a way as if they have quickly turned around like I just did
I move my arms as I stare at their backs. They mimic my movements exactly. There is not a giant mirror surrounding me. I would have hit it, and it would’ve showed my face. Not that I can remember what it looks like anymore, I can’t explain a ******* thing, confused, helpless alone with myself it seems
How eternal does it last?
One following the other upon millions?
I MUST BE DREAMING.
If so I will turn south
To walk side by side with them
Continue
Feb 16, 2014
Feb 16, 2014 at 2:33 AM UTC
Positive
These charges are not
Coursing energy through a million veins
Pneumatic machine pumps stamps so clean
A villainous intention, a horrible scream
Hurling past a galaxy or so
Traveling faster than a stone rock that was thrown
Inevitably stopping at something, but before it would slow
Full speed ahead
Technology is in the making
Exponential growth, reverse engineering can’t be faking
Truth is, these robots can think
More binary and cold, approaching and reveling in stink
Causing millions of crows to blink
Set a mark it is it it seeks
Pains foreshadow a turn of the tide
Feathering willows psychopaths and serial killers viewed outside
Hanging bodies and limbs on every branch that could be reached
The paranoia of conspiracies is really the same one that was preached
Different languages and dialects but always the same speech
Foreign sounds penetrate through skin
Bursting a love built within
Instilling a lust for blood, power, and sin
Which each person it’s over with a new begins
Never ending trends, population opposites the wish for it thin
Percentages calculate the numbers we know
When shown the specifics of these diseases
Minds eventually blow
Paranoia sets it, the number continues to grow
Feb 16, 2014
Feb 16, 2014 at 2:31 AM UTC