I don't know if it's better to bleed the pain onto page
or
silently struggle to forget about you.
...
I can do neither.
Dec 23, 2018
Dec 23, 2018 at 4:19 PM UTC
Even after all this time,
I carry the hurt to know I am fine.
Bleed me,
It isn't my blood that
Keeps me alive.
It's knowing that somehow you still care,
Even after all this time.
Jan 9, 2016
Jan 9, 2016 at 4:29 PM UTC
Upon my face I wear a smile,
A bastard's smile so smooth.
I grin in my seat
While I lie through my teeth,
The teeth that have never heard the truth.
Sep 8, 2015
Sep 8, 2015 at 10:47 AM UTC
I think more clearly
than I have in
years.
I can now hold a thought
in between my
ears.
I'm just finding my
happiness; it feels
absurd.
But when I talk, I'm
spewing venom in my
words.
I'm sorry.
Jul 6, 2015
Jul 6, 2015 at 9:34 PM UTC
I'm sorry
I couldn't
Take Away the
Hurt.
I'm sorry
I didn't
Do more,
Because I
Could've.
I'm sorry
You felt
Sorry for being
Sick.
I'm not sorry
That you were
Loved.
I'm sorry
I couldn't
Show you
Enough...
Mar 31, 2015
Mar 31, 2015 at 6:13 PM UTC
I kicked the edge
of the coffee table
with the top of
my small toe.
And then I thought of you.
I dropped that glass
But nearly caught it
with my then glass
Shard filled hand.
And then I thought of you.
Knicked the edge of
my Razer against the
Contour of my face
while my blood filled
the rest of the mirror.
And then I thought of you.
But when I nearly
cut myself in half
with that old ax
And dead tree,
I didn't think of you.
You don't want me dead,
Just alive enough to feel the pain,
because when you're dead you can't
feel dead,
when you're living
Sometimes it's all you can feel.
Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 11:28 PM UTC
Like ice down my shirt,
I'm jolted by just how hard and
fast it hit.
It didn't hurt,
but it made me see.
This is real,
This is now.
Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 11:05 PM UTC
Those eyes staring back at me,
I've stared them down before.
One quick glance and then you had me
Knocking at your door.
I like your smile, I love your touch
And oh I hope it
Ain't too much,
To tell you what's
Always on my mind.
I can't think with no body else to be,
And I hope you want nobody else than me.
And when I look your way,
I do so with restraint.
One day when I'll look at you,
You'll look back at me.
I'll see that smile I love so much,
And feel the softness of your touch.
A day that just can't come soon enough.
And I will wait for that one day to come.
And I will wait for me to be that one.
Say, say you're with me.
Just, give me a sign.
If, I say I love you.
Will, you be mine?
Those eyes staring back at me,
I've stared them down before.
One quick glance and then you had me
Knocking at your door.
I like your smile, I love your touch
And oh I hope it
Ain't too much,
To tell you what's
Always on my mind.
And when I look your way,
I do so with restraint.
One day when I'll look at you,
You'll look back at me.
I'll see that smile I love so much,
And feel the softness of your touch.
A day that just can't come soon enough.
I can't think with no body else to be,
And I hope you want nobody else than me.
And I will wait for that one day to come.
And I will wait for me to be that one.
Mar 1, 2015
Mar 1, 2015 at 7:48 PM UTC
I've found my chill.
I found it right where you put it.
Right where you told me to look.
I didn't believe you, but
now I know otherwise.
It was behind my self-doubt,
tucked away with my sense of fear to
"No".
I tell myself it's just a word,
two letters at best.
Tomorrow is when I'll show you I care more than I sound.
Tomorrow is the day to wash today away.
Feb 24, 2015
Feb 24, 2015 at 10:47 PM UTC