I am your reflection
There stood a stranger in my mirror,
who did everything I did like a game of simon says,
I've never seen this stranger before,
But he was always there when I was,
his presences had a heavy feeling like there were
weights in my stomach,
“I am your reflection”
That's all the stranger would say to me,
I must be day dreaming,
Cause how can my reflection be a stranger.
That's what i had thought,
I had thought you were merely nothing but a man who stood in front of me.
Yet I came to learn that you were anything but a man,
You were the monster under my mothers bed.
“I am your reflection”
See I grew up thinking that you left me,
Like an unwanted toy at a park
And all I thought of was why I wasn’t good enough.
I pointed the finger at me,
And ignored the idea that you weren’t there
Because you were venom to my mothers life.
That fake smile she gave me
That laugh she fakes to sound happy
It's all because of you.
She left you,
Hoping that you would no longer be thorns to the roses of her life,
But she couldn’t run away from those times with you
Because she was reminded of them whenever she looked at me.
“I am your reflection”
Not once did she mentioned to you that she wanted to
But you didn’t care
So you took a piece of her
Leaving her with an image of you,
Her being reminded of you was her personal hell,
And for most of my life knowing about you
was mine.
When birthdays came
i feared that someday
I wouldn’t distinguish you from me
I’d break this mirror if it let me stop seeing you
But I knew it would only prevent me from seeing you,
And not from looking like you
I am your reflection
You standing in the mirror seemed like my destiny was inevitable,
That soon I would become the reflection in the mirror,
Doing everything you do,
And doing everything you did
Because I am your son.
I am your reflection
Though our blood runs the same,
I made it my life goal to be everything you weren't,
Cause I am more than just a reflection of you,
While i live my life i know one day I may meet you again
No longer behind the mirror,
But as a ghost from a distant past
Forgotten and irrelevant
I am my reflection.
Oct 30, 2023
Oct 30, 2023 at 3:09 PM UTC
I can’t remember when I became fascinated
But I remember the reason why.
Such a magical piece of art
Designed to open unknown wonders
Or close them from thundering shadows.
light in my hand,
like gravity had no restrain on you.
Your shininess would always pierce my eyes
Like a puddle reflecting the suns powerful rays.
I collect hundreds of you
And for what?
Even If I found millions of them
None of them have ever fit your lock.
Nov 17, 2021
Nov 17, 2021 at 3:42 PM UTC
Where are we at
I couldn’t say for sure.
I know that you’re scared
Cause so am I,
You don’t have to lie to me
The same way you’ve been lying to yourself.
I don’t expect our story to be like a fairy tale
But god I don’t mind if it ends like one.
You feel alone,
Almost like you have no control
Of the feelings you have towards yourself.
But what does that mean ?
I couldn’t really tell you.
Where we at
It’s not easy to see,
I get the feeling that Im no longer someone dear to you
I guess it’s fine since we weren’t really trying
But it hurts a whole lot knowing that you couldn’t tell me the truth
And what is the truth ?
You are afraid to be happy with someone cause you fear that your past will come running towards you,
You concern yourself with people who haven’t seen your mask
And it’s crazy to me cause I do the same.
Where are we at
I have these thoughts overcoming my brain
But no real way to tell you about it,
I couldn’t even try if I knew how
You don’t respond the same way.
I guess everything comes and goes
Like birds migrating when winter arrives
But I guess I didn’t expect you to migrate from me.
I believed that the memories we had of me and you were pretty warm.
at the time I wasn't ready to be your home,
It wasn’t my plan to make you my all
I just wanted to enjoy the company and love that you gave back to me
Had I known this was how it was going to be
I would have enjoyed the moments I saw you a little bit more.
Nov 11, 2021
Nov 11, 2021 at 12:02 PM UTC
That melody is stuck in my head again,
I hum the beat whenever I feel lost.
I don’t remember the name of this song
But I remember the way you sang it to me.
Apr 2, 2021
Apr 2, 2021 at 4:18 PM UTC
Some days I feel like a sailor lost at sea
Sailing the endless ocean not knowing
if I will ever find my destination.
Sometimes it’s like I’m surrounded by a cloud of fog, blinded to the point where I can no longer
tell where I came from or where to go next.
Some days I want to see a light from the distance shining through that fog
Calling my name
Showing me where I need to be.
I wanted you to be my light house,
Clearing the fog around me
And letting me know that my journey ended with you. But I felt so lost when I was with you
Maybe because the lighthouse in you,
never wanted to turn the lights on for me
Apr 28, 2020
Apr 28, 2020 at 3:37 AM UTC
There was so much on my mind that day
And yet it felt like nothing was good enough to say.
You never had to worry
All you had to do was look at me with those marvelous emerald eyes
And you had me picturing of a life where I could stare endlessly at them.
like a beautiful fire you brought warmth to me
And while the flames of my heart danced
I couldn’t stop but be mesmerized of everything about you.
What a cruel fate it is,
To know that you roam the very realms of my dreams
And no longer the realms of my reality.
It seems pointless to write these words about you
To have these thoughts of you
When it could be that I’m no longer a name that leaves your mouth.
Apr 24, 2020
Apr 24, 2020 at 6:50 AM UTC
What is it that I am feeling,
Every night I lay down and stare at the ceiling,
Missing something that I once had.
And I’m mad because I let it slip through my hands,
Stuck listening to the same jams,
Reminding me of the happiness that once filled my heart,
At what part of my life.
Did my life start to go downhill,
Pills enter my system,
Meant to make me feel,
But the symptoms make me more distant,
With reality becoming more like a fantasy,
And trying to survive has become a routine,
Because i’m constantly remembering the gleam in your eyes,
Which kills me,
It’s like drowning in a sea of memories,
And every time one passes about you,
I sink further into the deep,
I keep wondering what my world would be like if I hadn’t met you,
If I knew would my night skies be clear,
Why did you disappear?,
You left me in this void,
And destroyed what made me human,
It was all an illusion you made,
Just to corrade my emotions,’
Here I am hoping and coping with the idea,
That I live in fear,
I intoxicate myself with beer,
Trying to numb whatever feeling I have for you,
But it will never undo the history we had,
And it’s sad to say,
But it’s the price I pay,
For continuing to walk down this road,
With this load that does nothing but bring me down,
And I continue to surround myself in the dark,
So it’s no wonder they call me one of the ******
Because I chose to live in the past,
Instead of in the moment,
And it’s made me live in torment,
I’m crying for help,
But I’m afraid for anyone to help,
Because the last person to help me,
Is the reason I live in this hell,
But I hope one day that someone will tell,
That I fell from the top,
And my happiness was robbed,
I hope someone is there,
To make me feel that someone still cares,
And somewhere someone will,
But until then I must fill the hole in my chest,
And rid myself from this depressed place,
But don't think it’s too late to see the light,
As I write I realize how great my life has been since I filled mine,
And as you read I hope you start,
Because you belong here,
No matter what others say or do,
And I know you forgotten how to smile,
But you will get it back even if it takes a while,
What you desire is someone to admire you,
But what you need is to admire yourself first,
You think you’re cursed,
But you are just a prisoner of your own mind,
Who needs to find their way out,
If you thought this poem was about me you are mistaken,
This poem was made for you,
To help break you out.
Aug 1, 2017
Aug 1, 2017 at 8:28 PM UTC
I wish I was blind,
It would help ease my mind,
I wonder what it would be like to be blind,
Would I be able to find peace if I was,
Because I’m stuck in the jaws of the devil,
And he’s injecting with his venom,
It makes me see things that aren’t there,
It’s like a forever nightmare,
Where i’m running away from monsters created from my brain,
I try to restrain myself from going insane,
But I can't contain myself from the hurricane in my head,
Instead I let it spread to my heart,
It sets me apart from everyone else,
I wish I can say I was all alone,
That all I did was plug my headphones,
And all my worries just disappeared,
But the reality is I feared to be alone,
No one there allowed for my thoughts to come alive,
Which deprived me from a happy life,
Because I was constantly questioning what was real,
I wanted to seal my eyes shut,
But that wouldn’t stop the whispering in my ear,
It always felt like death was near,
And I figured death wouldn’t be a bad option,
Corruption filled my head,
Which led my imagination to be darkened,
And I became a burden,
I didn’t want to tell anyone I was seeing images,
So hear my words if you aren’t getting my messages,
I am schizophrenic,
And I’m not writing my story for you to feel apologetic,
I write for you to understand,
That there are others like me who try to withstand,
The disease that scares us to open our eyes,
So when our brain paints us a lie,
I pray someone is there to help us realize.
Aug 1, 2017
Aug 1, 2017 at 8:24 PM UTC
Our love was created like a movie,
With you being the definition of beauty,
Summer nights you gazed at the stars,
While falling asleep to the sound of my guitar,
And I know our lives weren't perfect,
But in that moment everything seemed perfect,
Neither one of us expected how important we would be to each other,
But you being in my life never bothered me,
And I know you would agree,
We use to talk for hours about the mysteries in the world.
And it was in those talks that made me realize you were my world,
We said our love was fate,
And that we were each other's soulmate,
You could say electricity ran between us,
Because each time we kissed a spark left our lips,
We were at the peak of our love,
We often said what we had was truelove,
Our romance would cause us to be in a trance,
There was not one moment where we didn't cross each other's minds,
It was like our love was design for one another.
Jul 20, 2017
Jul 20, 2017 at 10:07 PM UTC
Everywhere I seem to go it always feel like you're there,
The despair you once had has now been passed on,
And now that you're gone,
It's harder for me to move on,
I wish I can say it was never like this before,
But you had always been at war,
And I used to always ignore,
I wish I was able to know,
When you started to feel low,
Woe was you,
And all I did was leave you alone,
Maybe if I walked in your shoes I would understand why you did it,
But for now I'll have to admit that I let you down,
You started to drown,
And I wasn't around,
You called me to stop you from breaking down,
Only to hear a voice mail saying I couldn’t reach the phone,
I left you alone with your own thoughts,
Which made you sought for paradise,
And you tried to compromise with drugs,
Hard drugs made you numb to the emptiness you felt in your heart,
You were falling apart,
And you started to realize this was the final chapter of your life,
All you did was dream of the afterlife,
And how wonderful it would be to stop this pain,
You asked the lord to explain why you were feeling like this,
And when you didn't hear an answer it dropped you further into the dark abyss,
You needed answers,
And I wish I could've gave them to you,
You decided to call again to tell me your goodbyes,
But I told you I was too busy to talk,
So you walked down the stairs,
Went to the kitchen and picked up a chair,
Stood on top of it with a rope around your neck,
And you stood there to think for a sec,
This was the first time you ever felt so high,
And you decided to stay there for there for the rest of your life,
Your parents walked in horror,
To realize their son had ended his story,
And now I write these words to describe my allegory,
All you needed was someone to show you that you weren’t alone,
Now I sit here and mourn for the memories we had,
It's sad to say that you live in my memories and not beside me,
I hope you are able to read this,
So you can know that I miss your presence,
I hope you found the heaven you were searching for,
And I hope you can save me a seat when it’s my time to go,
But until then I’ll live my life for the both of us.
May 12, 2017
May 12, 2017 at 1:01 AM UTC