Tourette’s
uncontrollable
loud inside stares from outside
Suffering from inflated embarrassment and shame
Unknown, only known by me
suppressed until I cannot anymore
I am not my tics, but they are in me
they follow me, poke me jabbing to be included in my life
sudden, and uncomfortable they feel extreme
I blink excessively to shrug off the tickle in my brain
My shoulder seizes and jerks back in forth up and down
With no warning, I start to yell or grunt, scared of my excessive tics
I cry afterwards full of shame and misery
Hands start to flail as I rock back and forth
back and forth back and forth, I’m okay I am going to be okay
Comfort in the uncomfortable knowing my secret that cannot be exposed in my own company
but what about when there are others around me,
I hope no one noticed and I feel like a failure once again
I suppress when others are around and free my spirit when alone
I look at myself and my face contorts until it feels correct and the tics are over
Until next time I feel the uncontrollable
nonstop
smothering
repressed
constraint of my tics
Nov 18, 2021
Nov 18, 2021 at 2:39 PM UTC
It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms
It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces
of your heart
that you don't yet understand
It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave
It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived
Nov 18, 2021
Nov 18, 2021 at 2:35 PM UTC
the worst human ever
I’ve known him for awhile
but his true colours are just showing now
pain and tears are on there way
thank you dad
Jan 25, 2019
Jan 25, 2019 at 6:11 PM UTC
a state of unease
generalized dissatisfaction with life
never truly feeling bliss and joy
Jan 24, 2019
Jan 24, 2019 at 11:02 PM UTC
poetry truly is expressing myself through art without hurting myself or others
it is a release of anger and sadness
in exchange for happiness and joy
Jan 24, 2019
Jan 24, 2019 at 10:55 PM UTC
haven’t felt like me for a long time
don’t know if I will ever be like the girl I used to be
this might be a goodbye
that girl may die
goodbye
Jan 22, 2019
Jan 22, 2019 at 7:24 PM UTC
I cannot fathom what is only just in front of me
so out of reach yet told not far from
I can smell the success near and dear
yet fail to feel its presence
Jan 21, 2019
Jan 21, 2019 at 9:46 AM UTC
I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.
Now read from bottom to top.
Jan 20, 2019
Jan 20, 2019 at 1:24 PM UTC
started in the morning feeling so small
I was really feeling like nothing at all
I don’t know why
getting dressed brushing my teeth
look in the mirror and what do I see
somebody that doesn’t look like me
I don’t know why
Jan 20, 2019
Jan 20, 2019 at 2:46 AM UTC