If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like *******
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.
Mar 13, 2021
Mar 13, 2021 at 6:06 AM UTC
I loved her.
Before I even gazed upon her
I loved her
Before I was even dazed by her words of splendour
I loved her
Not for her ability to
charm others
as even though she just as often harmed others
Not for her straightforward intelligence
for she shared a forward thinking
dissidence
And not for her beauty & majesty did I love her
Because not far from often, did she bring cruelty and calamity too others that I did love
And when I loved her, it wasn’t because of her bountiful spirit
For when one drove responsibility towards her
she was both accountable and idyllic
her innate strength insurmountable & prolific
And my love did not come from her humble yet dominating origins
Hunters and gatherers roaming in forests
Nor her families evolution, amongst changing nations
into cultural irrigation, harvesting & cultivation
Yet my love was neither superficial
wrought by a feverish desire for atypical minerals
As it is evident she grew up to live lavishly, as if she were a daughter of kings and pharaohs, emperors and regents
Far from superficial
it went beyond my own existence
‘tis was it deep
And watching her grow up
yet older and slowly darker
it flooded me with a sense of grief
For that was the only side she showed me, and allowed others to see
But beyond the seas and ravines, ridges & fjords, she beamed
And that is how it felt for a time
her happiness distant and far gone
Looking back it’s blatant she was far from dormant
But I believe during that time she was merely misled
It took time to connect her heart with her head
And for a time it seemed she was finally ready to proceed
And that was all but my dream
for her
But in my heart, I knew she would waver and ultimately capitulate towards the darker times
I think, even though she was mature and grown
not enough time separated her from her home
a family always wanting to dominate and roam
The precedence was set
The credulous to fret
And even though it’s in her nature to align with basic instincts
I awaited,
like those in scriptures
for a sign
that leads her to brighter precincts.
Of this hope
it was something I dreamt about
until I was left awoke
It was a scathing cycle, hopes festered
with a heart broke
And in the depth of my despair
I was still convinced,
that behind her “politics” & warring nature with others,
that the woman I loved & dreamt, was still there
And you know what?
She convinced me
Not deceitfully nor schemingly
but seemingly
through action
She was on a phase of exploration
visiting foreign nations
and establishing relations
Truth was
All of it was a ruse
corrupting & enslaving
it was just another way of experssing her roots
Since then, I’ve never been lead astray, I knew it was just one big game
Even though I never believed that’s who she wholly
was and is
I can’t help but fell this is the way it is
Her being at an unbeknownst
war with herself
One that expresses all she can be
charming, beautiful, full of majesty
That she is the most complex & admiring existence in this universe
And another of opposite birth
One that can be harming, full of cruelty and calamity
And of this side I fear brings the other to her knees
And it ladens me with tears
But of this side of her
I fail to recognise,
as the woman I loved,
and it’s the only failure
I won’t rectify
The woman I loved,
the beautiful glimpses of allure,
that sparks through the impure and demeaning
Is the only meaning I can find within myself to breathe
But I’m lost
Lost in her mystery
Lost in the past
Because, I don’t see her anymore
giving rise to my love in the past tense
For I don’t know where she lives or with whom she spend her time
with
But of the worst fear I hold within my heart
is that the woman I loved never existed to begin with
That the idea of her was just a figment
of my idealistic mind
That all these years,
I conjured a fallacy of this supposed
“Benevolent”
side of her
so I could forgive what she had
imposed
And that I believed & fought so fervently
in her
because in hope
it would bring life to her
Whatever the reality
I will never put cease
to my belief
that I will see her
Why?
Because the person
of whom I am talking about
is
Humanity
And she is the most beautiful thing I’ve known, regardless of her flaws
Jan 14, 2019
Jan 14, 2019 at 1:05 PM UTC
I know a man
who wakes up
every morning, goes out of
his way to preach love to others
and at the end of the night , he has
no one to hold , no one to love him
I know a man
Who goes out of his way
to preach peace to every child
in the neighborhood and at
the end of the night , he Cannot
find peace within himself
He lives in darkness
I know a man
who goes out of his way
to feed the beautiful birds
at his favorite park, and at the end
of the night he has nothing to eat
he goes to bed hungry
I know a man
who goes out of his way
to give his all to everyone
and at the end of the night
all he owns is the clothes
on his back
I know a man
Who served his country
Fought for freedom
For civil rights
So all of us can sleep well
At night , and at
the end of night
He has no home to go to
He sleeps on a bench
at his favorite park
I know a man
who goes out his way
to do everything right
even when nothing is
going right in his own life
I know that man
and I can only pray
that one day I can be
half of the man that he is
NOW
—————-
Who
saves the savers ?
Who
gives the givers ?
Who
heals the healers ?
Who
loves the Lover’s ?
Where
do you put your hurts
when your hands are full ?
TIME TO SAVE THE WORLD!
Jan 3, 2019
Jan 3, 2019 at 8:00 PM UTC
From
a
bow
at
dawn bright
a
sweet kiss
of
appreciation
from
grace through the cold night
a
softer elegant celebration
a
motion moving entity's
into
the
shadows
of
the
moon
Jan 3, 2019
Jan 3, 2019 at 7:59 PM UTC