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catmarshall
catmarshall
27/F/London
I just hate this, I don’t hate you until we kiss I’ll escape you oh where’s the twist, I’m enraged, who’s the god of fate to complain to do you love me like I love you? but I always know when a love’s true see fire, into it I tune chemistry shatters the whole room sent me an angel too early you are too pretty and pearly and you could heal me or hurt me I’m bad and broken, you’re holy too much unspoken, you don’t see below the surface I’m hurting I dream of barriers burning you pull me back as I’m turning run with me, keep this a secret make up for a life filled with regret exiled societal rejects star crossed love lost, now we reflect I severed ties, sent a letter the final feeling, forget her bore the burden, barely better she’d lose her life, they won’t let her the fantasy failed to survive it was as though she had just died our dangerous dance was denied fell into smoking, drugs and wine so hollow without the saviour forced to get stronger and braver seek solitude that I favour give myself the love I gave her can’t give the choice to the chosen goodbye, our meaningful moments in november were the omens in winter forever frozen
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Jul 27, 2021
Jul 27, 2021 at 8:39 AM UTC
the twist
thought our passion was like fire thought you were my twin I realise I was sleeping with a mannequin felt deeply for your trauma or the lies you spin? you wore me out for nothing yeah you wore me thin a heart fractured and martyred sadness comes in waves I wake up and I’m grieving at the light of day a tragedy, I’m worth more in your power play lost in lust and listless I’m lost where we lay you’re whats called a player well string me along! I just wanna waste time with you! girl you got me wrong … all I got is a hard lesson a regretful song and a jaded view of dating one which you prolong you raised me up to famous just to pull me down like codeine and casillero it’s in you I drown sheets of deceit and emptiness attachments foul the joke’s on me, hilarious I get it now that once again I’ve fallen for the narcissist now you’re crying for my comeback but you won’t be missed I’m damaged from the danger that lies in your kiss I refuse to be your puppet you won’t be my bliss
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Jul 22, 2021
Jul 22, 2021 at 6:59 PM UTC
mannequin
stalemate you won’t move, i don’t wanna check your game, chuck my pride, change your order fall from grace like an unruly daughter mess you’ve made false friend fade, i don’t want ya it’s too late i’ve got no more to offer your charity case of no boundaries or borders a parade of disorder i’m a lamb to the slaughter mockery you know me you know my life’s unholy promise of love to show me my empty hands are folding i’ll push you out just watch me exile you don’t you touch me thought you could beat and box me sly fox i am too trusting
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Oct 13, 2018
Oct 13, 2018 at 8:27 AM UTC
stalemate
turned self hatred to ego death order out of chaotic mess I have sinned, I must confess from denying that I am blessed for I’m a vessel for the power big and bright, to which I cower self-protecting, sad wallflower procrastinate my finest hour my heart expired, my talents latent the Universe frowns at complacence signalled for change in ways so blatant uncovered what was truly fated so “no more!”, I said aloud in a tone uncanny and proud gathered the few truths I found stood for justice, stood my ground wielded tools for reinvention based on only good intention so whilst my past begs for a mention I’m better pressed to break convention break myself and forge another birth my own daughter and mother court my own subconscious lover love yourself, then love each other because life’s too short to **** yourself it’s got that sorted, watch your health harness your power, know your wealth you’ll gather dust sat on that shelf
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Aug 25, 2017
Aug 25, 2017 at 10:04 AM UTC
tools for reinvention
am i just your bird in your cage? but i’m not so pretty when you fill me with rage i’m just acting my age i’m not your flower, not your slave. you just can’t keep up with the pace i’m not such a sight when i show my true face not little mermaid, now sail away for i am a danger, a waif and a stray was i once life’s rich tapestry? well tear me down and leave me be i'm not here to fulfil your "needs" which you declare so selfishly so needlessly, dramatically endlessly and emphatically until you see the back of me it’s only then that you will see now what am i? a feminist? threatening the chauvinist? a temptress for a forsaken kiss? no, i am just a point you missed but i will bite and i will hiss your heat can’t melt my iron fist i’m not a treat, more of a trick you won’t get what you want from this as i am fixed, i won’t succumb you can’t keep me down and dumb a little quiet, a little numb ... or maybe just under your thumb so what am i? a burning sun. i think that’s what i have become and if i burn then you can run i'll fight my fight til i have won
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May 19, 2017
May 19, 2017 at 12:36 PM UTC
a burning sun
now the thin ice is breaking beneath our feet i miss the unholy land where we used to meet it was a far cry from the many walked down streets the place where we tuned our synchronised heartbeat but you couldn't stay, couldn't handle the heat we sparked something off and it singed too deep so i'll pack up my things, but the rewards we reaped they've lost their shimmer and many i can't keep this twisted psychological ladders and snakes up, down, rolling dice ... what was real has proved fake disintegrated into nothing and i've got the shakes shook by the rawest portrayal of how my wild heart breaks going to take the quickest route to get out of this place to change my environment, or just forget your face that held the false sense of hope to which i'm tightly laced crushed by the heavy weight of something that once filled a space
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Apr 26, 2017
Apr 26, 2017 at 4:02 PM UTC
the unholy land
give me this, i swear to god written on this sharp emblazoned sword i’ll give you my world in exchange for yours spoken freely through enraging chords if you do mine, then i’ll do yours not in half measures, we’re changing laws got lots of grip for such poor baby paws just read my lips, my god **** worthy cause give me this, my only god give me one chance, one approving nod i’ll give you my words in exchange for yours hoping freely for game changing thoughts if you change mine, then i’ll change yours not in half measures, no lies in the court no theft of things that can just be bought through worthy work, i am your worthy cause give me peace in my own mind give me the me that i left behind and within me i think that you’ll find ancient treasures that need a remind long lost pleasures of a human kind no half measures of new spoken rhyme playful leisures that don’t cross the line now you’ll get yours, i’m more yours than mine
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Apr 9, 2017
Apr 9, 2017 at 5:46 PM UTC
worthy cause
my thoughts are a million cutting through like blood stained vermilion i’m feeling so brilliant the cards are dealt, the rest i’m just filling in and i see the sun again burns my eyes and now i feel one again i’ve won the prize, thank you ladies and gentlemen brought me so high with your sweet sentiment cos surely i’m better than these lazy lowlifes lost in the labyrinth crawling blind down places you’ve never been dancing in darkness, it never ends i’ve got the better friends i’ve got the love, got places to settle in i’ve got the fire in the furnace to burn the men i’ve got the sword and i’m earnest to fight again with my brand new eyes i can see, see? yeah i see it better i change the weather i change the narrative with each **** letter i change forever i change my fate, we are birds of a feather i back down never i back myself, yes i am the trendsetter
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Apr 4, 2017
Apr 4, 2017 at 9:31 AM UTC
trendsetter