It's so easy to be an angry, emotional child
Dark thoughts filled inside you, running wild
Hating the world, hating yourself
Pushing good memories to the back of the shelf
Want to sink in the mud, and hide your face away
From the worried looks they give you every day
Some call you strong for surviving this long
But I think they might all be singing the wrong song
Anyone can sit there and be double sided
Be depressed in the dark, and in the light hide it
But the ones who are strongest are the ones who fight
Who refuse the demons, by day or by night
Our moods come and go, but they don't define us
It's more than just what we show to outsiders.
Aug 2, 2012
Aug 2, 2012 at 12:57 PM UTC
There it is again
That face; Those eyes; That smile; Those teeth
It shows up in my dreams
It follows and watches me
It will pop out at any moment
There it is again
That laugh
The one that haunts me
It sounds like a witch concocting her poison
It makes its presence known when I make a mistake
That hideous cackle
I think it laughs at my pain...and my fright
There it is again
Those hands
The ones that grab me and hold me back
The ones that pull my hair,
Caress my face like a toy
Those hands with scars and bruises
Cuts and blood cover them
The hands that hold the knife
I fear my blood is next
There it is again
It never leaves me
It haunts me in my sleep
It haunts me in the day
It loves to see me in pain
I cannot get away
There it is again
It will never leave
Aug 2, 2012
Aug 2, 2012 at 12:56 PM UTC
You tell me this is your last goodbye
And the tears begin to fill my eyes
The pen and paper, your only escape
From the dark world you encounter every day
You tell me about the things you do
And although I know not what you go through
It breaks my heart, and I die inside
Is this the only way that you survive?
I make you promises foolishly
And when I lay my head to sleep
Its YOU who haunts my thoughts and dreams
My ruined pillow soaked with tears
My heart racing with new fears
But not for me, for YOU my friend
The one who’s life should not yet end
My soul is screaming, hurting, crying
For the one that’s slowly dying
Too many dreams for us as friends
I’m not ready for this to end
How often do I say I love you?
You say you know, but I don’t think you do
You’re the one who’s made life bright
The northern star shining in the night
The rare beauty in a field of dirt
But also the one who’s been hurt
I think back to that rainy day
I played guitar and sat and sang
You smiled at me from over there
But inside was brimming with despair
I didn’t know the thoughts on your mind
I couldn’t make it better that time
But here, you’ve taken over my life
You’re in my thoughts from day to night
I wish there was something I could do
To make the whole world love you
To the one who makes life better
Here is your own love letter
This here is my final battle cry
For you alone, I’d give up my life
Don’t underestimate my love’s power
I cry for you this very hour
If you leave, I’ll miss you when you’re gone
PLEASE…don’t leave me here alone….
Jan 15, 2012
Jan 15, 2012 at 6:25 PM UTC
I look up and look at you,
out of the corner of my eyes.
Its easy just to watch you
and let the time fly by.
As I sit and watch you,
I think about the past.
I think about the thing we had,
and how I thought that it would last.
I thought that I was special
and meant so much to you.
Although you said you liked me,
your actions told the truth.
I gave you my something special,
and then you broke my heart.
Who knew that a boy like you,
would rip my world apart?
I regret giving up on you.
I guess I’ll always want you again.
Because your face always haunts me
when it pops up in my head.
So I sit her in class,
and watch everything you do.
I don’t think you’ll ever understand
how much I love you.
Jan 15, 2012
Jan 15, 2012 at 6:23 PM UTC
Skipping records; Deja Vu
I just can’t get over you
E’erone says I ought not to
Fall for you tricks again
My heart, by you, ‘s been broke before
My body shaking from the slammed door
Red blood, all mine, spilled on the floor
And will happen again
That silly word that was all mine
When heard it always filled my mind
And my soul with butterflies
Because I heard the passion in your voice
We played this game not long ago
You kissed my head and held me close
You mended me before I broke
From being intoxicated with you
Shaking in this desolit place
Vertical lines streaked down my face
My heart pounding, but I lost the race
The last time I trusted you
Skipping records; Deja Vu
I don’t like the things you do
My beating heart, you rip in two
And I’ll go back to you again
Skipping records; Deja Vu
I just can’t get over you
I hate the fact that I love you
And that will never end
Jan 14, 2012
Jan 14, 2012 at 1:37 AM UTC
I feel my life is passing by
Every time I close my eyes
The world around me moves; it changes
My friends and family become strangers
Everything I thought I was
Passes with the setting sun
"Who am I?" I often think
"What am I? Who will I be?"
I change as quickly as the seasons
With little rhyme or reason
And tomorrow I do not know
Where I'll be; where I'll go
They batter me with constant questions
If not pleased, they give suggestions
I try so hard to please them all
Do they build me up to watch me fall?
So much out there to explore
I want to learn it all before
I am old awaiting death
I wanna live while I still have breath
A doctor? Singer? Or a writer?
National Geographic Photographer?
Too many options not enough time
College will make me lose my mind
There's only one thing I want to be and do
And that's be me and love on YOU
Nov 4, 2011
Nov 4, 2011 at 10:09 PM UTC
Out there; searching
Looking; breathing
But not for you
Breathing; yearning
For something bigger
The light. The Truth
It's been too long
Dear old friend
I need you back here again
Life is dry
The fish need water
Breathing but no oxygen
It was a whole season
I forced the void closed
But my face hit the dirt
I am a dreamer
Thought this would last forever
But "forever" always hurts
Running faster now
For my life
My past comes and haunts me
This time
It shall not win
For I am no longer empty
I feel things filling
Pressure building
I soon shall explode
Overwhelming
Everlasting
Forever changed by your love
Oct 24, 2011
Oct 24, 2011 at 8:36 PM UTC
Ewww
Look at you
You disgusting little girl
Your hair’s a mess
Greasy; pimply; ugly
Teeth not white enough
Eyebrows too thin
Makeup done wrong
Just give up already
Walk to the mirror, tubby
Your thighs too large
Your arms flabby
They say your skinny
Who believes them?
You don’t eat some days
You say you’re not hungry
Plus, it’s too “mainstream”
You love food
That’s your problem
Think back on today *****
You yell at them
You think your life is so hard
You make theirs miserable
Ruin what little happiness they have
Worst sister ever
Why should they ever love you?
You don’t even know what love is!
You think you do
You don’t
You ruined another friendship
You thought you were in love. Ha!
You ruin everything
You’ve ruined yourself
Arms out
Wrists up
Examine the scars
Anger and hurt
Permanently displayed
Scars; burns; signs
The world can see
Just another ******* statistic
You like that, hipster?
Didn’t think so
Oh the labels
Do you want to be classified?
Hipster; depressed; hippie; cutter
How do those even go together?
You confuse people
You don’t even know what you are
What you want
What you want to be
You wear your heart on your sleeve
You dress like a freak
Outrageous clothes
Stupid hair
Trying to make an impression?
Make people remember you?
It’s working
And not in a good way
Are you crying?
Wipe the tears from your eyes, you baby
You cry over everything
The last 48 hours
And yet you smile
You disgust me
You hide it
All too well
Are you faking the tears for attention?
Or are you just plain manipulative?
Manipulative of yourself
Your thoughts; feelings
Disgusting
Oh, stop crying over him!
It’s your fault
Remember?
You broke his heart
Like a twig
The day you broke up with him
You gave up
You quitter
You were scared of his love
Scared of your feelings
They weren’t perfect
So you ran
You’re so messed up
You ruin the good things
The ONLY good things you have
Do you think he’ll want you back?
Then another
He was a great friend
You were scared of him
Of the things that made him him
You cancelled
Again
Lies and blames followed
Mad at each other
You said good bye
And because you’re a stubborn ***
Don’t apologize
Erase him from your memories
Cry over what you had
And lost
You ******* baby
Go “escape”
You dreamer
Escape your reality
Dream big
Then give up
You can’t make it
Isn’t that what you always do?
Blame him; I see
It’s not his fault
You just can’t remember
You have no motivation
No goals
You quit too early
I can’t stand to look at you
You disgust me completely
You’re the leftovers
The flaws no one had room for
ALL wrapped up in you instead
You want to be too many things
Everything you’re not
Can’t just be happy, can you?
You want to be the good girl
Want approval
You want to be the bad girl
Drinking
Smoking
*******
You want to be crazy
Not a care in the world
You want acceptance
You don’t even know
You’re greedy
Jealous
Foolish
You clown
Stop embarrassing yourself
Don’t be proud
It’s not nearly good enough
Stop trying
Maybe one day you’ll get it
We hate you
We all secretly hate
But we hide it because we’re good people
There you go
Just go cry sweetie
Act like everything’s ok
You fake
You poser
You loathful creature
I’d hate to be you
Oh, wait
I am...
Jul 21, 2011
Jul 21, 2011 at 10:25 AM UTC
She does it to him, he does it to her
It was obvious they would both end up hurt
She hates the things that he does
He doesn't realize what she gives up
Constantly worrying; Never trusting; It always ends in pain
Messing with each other's head, like it's some sort of game
He tells me that he wants to die,
She sits in her room and cries
But neither one is strong enough
Neither one has the guts
To do the thing that hurts the most
But in the end, will be best for both.
They drag us in, make us choose sides
And secretly we try to hide
We don't want to get involved
We've seen the pain that we've caused
Stand up, grow up, get some *****
Tell her you're through with it all
Tell him you're done with his lies
And all the things he tries to hide
You can't hurt yourself to save that one
Your time together will soon be done
You can't always make it work
Sometimes you just end up hurt
Jun 24, 2011
Jun 24, 2011 at 8:58 PM UTC
Arms out
Wrists up
See the scars
Burns and cuts
Examine the marks
The world can see
From losing my fight
With the enemy
You joke around
Point at the burns
Laughing only
Makes things worse
Everything temporary
Nothing Permanent
Our hearts set free
Just to get hurt
My soul cries out
I cannot live
Trapped inside
This fragile skin
If it breaks
It be my time
For I am not afraid to die
Jun 24, 2011
Jun 24, 2011 at 8:32 PM UTC