I'm stupid enough to think I can change you
I'm deluded enough to think I'll be the special one
That convinces you to be the commitment kind of guy
But what makes me think I'm the girl who'll do it?
I want so badly for this to work
I don't know when it happened
But I've fallen hard for you
Somehow your disenchantment
With the world and how it works
Draws me to you, your words
Unlike so many other guys
You listen to me when I speak
You care about who I am underneath the skin
And your lips, your hands
When you touch me it's like
Electricity pulsing within every part of me
Then I start wondering
How long I'll have you
There seem to be expiration dates with you
But maybe it'll be different this time
I could be the one who changes you
Maybe I am different- special
I'm stupid enough to think I can change you
I'm deluded enough to think I'll be the special one
That convinces you to be the commitment kind of guy
But what makes me think you need me?
Oct 7, 2013
Oct 7, 2013 at 9:51 PM UTC
He has lips
That can make a girl's knees
Turn to water
So everyone ignores
The other things about him.
Mar 25, 2013
Mar 25, 2013 at 7:01 PM UTC
Take a deep breath because it's not her fault
Even though there's no one else to blame,
And I'd rather blame her than anyone else.
Because she's mediocre in every respect.
And the poor deluded ***** she just doesn't see.
She doesn't seem to notice the level of his indifference,
And yet she's taking him away from me.
She doesn't deserve him,
And he shouldn't stoop to her level.
Because he's all she ever talks about,
All she ever thinks about- she's obsessed.
It's crazy, and I wish he'd see that.
Not so that I can have him back, exactly.
It's more-
If I can't have him,
No one can.
Mar 4, 2013
Mar 4, 2013 at 9:37 PM UTC
She felt a pang in the pit of her stomach
Like getting punched hard in the gut
Because there was his picture in her newsfeed
Again smiling at the camera like he used to
Smile only for her
Six months, seven months, ten months gone
It's stupid and pointless to miss him.
Like the Ring of Fire he won't be back
In this life time even though she never
Even got a deep look at him
But loath curse love those firsts
Those scars that fade with time
But never totally disappear
Even when no one else can see them
They'll always be there
May 25, 2012
May 25, 2012 at 12:31 AM UTC
There you are
Sitting at the counter
With a girl.
A girl, the girl-
She's not that pretty.
She's a downgrade
From me, how could he.
Look at her-
With those stupid glasses and
Elaine Benes Hipster clothes.
After me, why would he.
Oh look-
A DSLR camera that I
Bet she doesn't know how to use.
Instead of me, why would he.
May 11, 2012
May 11, 2012 at 12:28 AM UTC
If I had known that was our last goodbye
I would have made it more dramatic, special
Maybe gazed into your deep blue eyes
And kissed you on the cheek- not the lips.
Lips and lust have no place in separation.
Apr 30, 2012
Apr 30, 2012 at 9:25 PM UTC
We fought for the 5th time this week.
I don't know what sparked your yelling,
But whatever it was-
It started a raging fire right in between us.
Your searing seething words are meant to be hurtful.
Like the fake apologies of a middle school girl,
They are meant to make me feel guilty.
And the words do hurt- but it's not shame that burns.
Am I horrible? Am I selfish?
We fought for the 10th time this month.
Our tear enducing "conversations" come in like the tide.
When the tide is low, you swallow your anger, your pride
Deep within you, but the waves always roll back in, and
With them comes your disgust- at me, at your own kin.
And you trap me on the shore, and force me to lie there-
Lie there and take your tidal wave words like the ultimately
Helpless, ultimately powerless daughter that I am.
One day we'll wake up, and this will all be over.
The rising seas will quench the raging fires, and
We'll be mother and daughter again.
But until then- you can't even look at me?
Until then- I can't even really speak to you. I talk
But I never speak, you listen but you never hear.
Until then I'll keep going to bed with out knowing what I did,
Keep smiling with sad eyes, because everything is alright.
Feb 29, 2012
Feb 29, 2012 at 12:21 AM UTC
Walking through the supermarket,
I came across a regret.
Dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, you've
Slimmed down since 4 years ago.
4 years ago, the regret, the guilt.
When you poured out your heart to me,
And I spilled your words
All over the table for everyone to see.
As if that wasn't bad enough.
Your love for me was unrequited,
And I rubbed it in your face,
In the ground, on a flag in the air: taunting.
But here's what I remembered most
As I watched you pick out the right grapefruit:
4 years ago I broke your heart, and you-
You forgave me, you loved me anyway.
Maybe 4 years ago was better for you,
Because I'm so much less of a woman than you deserve.
And yet- when you saw me peering over the apples,
You ran over and hugged me,
Acted like the way we used to be.
Feb 28, 2012
Feb 28, 2012 at 12:27 AM UTC
I thought I knew you, my own daughter, you said
But you didn't- you don't know me at all.
I'm an alien in my own house, and
You are just like everyone else-
Afraid of my difference- you hate it.
I'm concerned about what society will think
I don't care, neither should you.
Afraid of my difference- you try to **** it.
I thought I knew you, my own daughter, you said
But you don't- you never did.
Feb 18, 2012
Feb 18, 2012 at 7:59 PM UTC
Lately I've been afraid
Afraid of being alone
Of having the opportunity to really think.
How can someone have everything,
So much that countless people don't have,
And yet still be so unhappy?
I don't have the answer,
So I keep fighting back the pointless tears
Day after day after day.
Jan 26, 2012
Jan 26, 2012 at 7:36 PM UTC