I want to write a song
for so long.
I've wanted that song to represent me
And who I'll be
and what I will see
The sea haunts me
no that won't work
This is real this is me
nope already been done.
Hmm
To many times
you've gone flying over my head
and too many times I've screamed into the night.
For far to long I've been alone
just me
and no longer will I allow it
I will forever and always follow you
I will find myself and believe
I will come out of my shadows and into my light.
Oct 22, 2014
Oct 22, 2014 at 11:45 PM UTC
Words I can't say out loud.
Sometimes I'm over come by the urge to swollow a bottle of pills
I won't, but I want to.
I really, really like ***
but I can't have it as much as I want,
for fear of being labled a ****
I regret most of my decisions,
but I will never tell a soul.
I Don't want to!
Okay.
That's cool too.
Aug 7, 2014
Aug 7, 2014 at 2:42 AM UTC
I have a reputation
One I wish would go away
But this world has no magic
For that I'd have to pay
I've met my one and only,
I've met him once or twice.
And I know a lot of stories
No single one tells my vice.
Twice I've tried
Twice I've died
Aug 2, 2014
Aug 2, 2014 at 11:41 PM UTC
Dear son or daughter,
You can be whoever you want to be,
you can do whatever you want to do.
There are no limits,
I will not limit you to the confines of my beliefs
I will not tell you you are wrong
I will raise you with the best of my abilities
and I will give you everything you need
I will do whatever I can to ensure your safety and happiness
And yes, I will ground you if you misbehave,
but I will never guilt you,
manipulate you
or justify being mean to you for some greater good.
I will always love you with my whole heart,
and the truth is,
I'm writing this letter at 16 when I can't even imagine wanting you.
Dear son or daughter.
You will be the most important thing in my life
I will take every step,
I vow to never shelter you from the hard stuff
and justify it with the fact that I know best.
I will always love you.
Forever.
Jul 15, 2014
Jul 15, 2014 at 5:03 PM UTC
My first
Your first,
I used you.
But then I fell.
I fell for you
harder and faster than any other man.
You,
you meant the world to me.
Yes, I manipulated and lied just to get you in bed.
I wanted in your pants.
I don't remember where I was going with this....
Jul 14, 2014
Jul 14, 2014 at 8:29 PM UTC
Home.
Where the heart is,
The title of the page with all the new poems you follow.
The place that provides shelter from the rain
Where you're supposed to feel safe.
Jul 14, 2014
Jul 14, 2014 at 7:40 PM UTC
Me: RIGHT! I DON'T DESERVE WHAT I WANT BECAUSE I DON'T DESERVE ANYTHING!
him: I never said that sweetie.
Me: YOU ******* IMPLIED IT
I never ask for anything because you always ******* say no!
Every time you trust me and I'm good you take away my privledesg
so whats there to stop me from doing whatever the **** i want?
I mean, seriously
Like, ARGH!!!
Dad: Carolyn, calm down, you need to look at this with logic.
Me: I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I'M YELLING! THIS ISNT THAT ******* BIG A DEAL!
GOD!
UGH!
Jul 13, 2014
Jul 13, 2014 at 10:28 PM UTC
God knows I want it
I want to do it so badly,
I'm not entirely sure I can stop myself.
Imagine if every feeling you had was pain.
Happiness was like knives in your stomach,
Sadness equaled blades to your heart
Anger left you staggering and blind
and fear left you bleeding from your wrists.
For so long I thought I could bleed away that pain.
Now,
I know I can **** it away.
Step 1: Find a guy,
Then you're happy
Step 2: Convince that guy to like you
It doesn't matter if he has feelings for you,
as long as he'll *****
Step 3: **** him
Then you stop hurting
Step 4: Break his heart.
Then, you stop feeling.
Lying, cheating, stealing time,
just to get my drug.
If I can't find you,
I take a long steamy shower,
ignoring the banging on the bathroom door,
my family telling me I'm taking too long.
I don't know if I want to stop.
I hate this pain.
I hate this.
Pain,
brings me down,
I want to stay in my room all day.
I want to stay inside with the doors locked,
I want to stop feeling.
I want to die.
No, I want to stop hurting.
I want to live,
and stop hurting.
Jul 13, 2014
Jul 13, 2014 at 8:11 PM UTC
So many times I've run away from the man you claim to be.
So many times I've hidden from the man you are.
So many times I've cried over the man you were.
Hidden in those depths,
I wish I knew you were in there.
But no longer can I say I do.
I Love YOU.
Correction, I loved you.
I miss you now.
Not who you are, but simply who you were.
I miss the sound of you voice,
the feel of you murmuring sweet nothings in my ear,
you hands on my back,
your arms around my waist.
I want to say I've moved on.
I want to mean it with every ounce of my being.
I want to believe that you love me too.
That you loved me too.
I miss the way you said my name,
the fact that you called me gorgeous.
The small things you did for me.
I loved you,
and now you're gone.
Jul 13, 2014
Jul 13, 2014 at 6:54 PM UTC
Hi is an idea
and the idea
moves through your head
and your head spins
bye
is a reason
this reason is sorrow
Sorrow leads to tomorrow
Jul 12, 2014
Jul 12, 2014 at 2:18 PM UTC