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caroline-15
33/F/Dublin
Safe inside, I see the landscaper Planting life, while yours is fading Lavender, my mother’s gift, Near the tree he wanted To dig up and unearth Innocent sapling Snug in the soil Let it take Root and Live
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Dec 9, 2018
Dec 9, 2018 at 4:56 PM UTC
The Landscaper
I’m told there is no hope and left this wretched affliction. To carry you with dread and Wait for your day of suffering, To choose your final moment And design your demise.
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Dec 9, 2018
Dec 9, 2018 at 4:42 PM UTC
Cruel Choice
I awaken expecting the familiar dread But instead I feel you wriggling in my belly You guide me back to reality; My heavy limbs resting on the sheets The morning sun streaming in the window No worry or fear; no decision to be made Just the sun’s rays warming my body And you gently moving, Leaving this message of clarity and hope.
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Dec 9, 2018
Dec 9, 2018 at 4:34 PM UTC
An Epiphany
Everything is packed away As though you never existed But my body knows otherwise My empty, aching arms A heavy throbbing at my breast And in the shower I cry sweet, white tears That were made especially for you A visceral and final connection That dries up a week later
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Dec 9, 2018
Dec 9, 2018 at 4:26 PM UTC
Postpartum
Hello little one, wriggling on the screen Goodbye to your future, and our dreams Hello sleepless nights, afflicted by our choice, Goodbye to pregnancy as a time of joy Hello to the beauty of my other two Goodbye to worry over jammy fingers and muddy shoes Hello to this still moment, this calm, this sublime Goodbye to counting down the next landmark in time Hello my silent baby curled up in my arms Goodbye my little boy, you’re now safe from harm
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Dec 9, 2018
Dec 9, 2018 at 3:51 PM UTC
Hello and Goodbye
Long arms droop protecting Little dominoes with Rows of names and windmills And in amongst the toys Where Autumn tears are strewn A Magpie crunches through Eyes up these precious jewels But offers a mantra: “One for sorrow, two for joy Three for this girl and four For you my baby boy.”
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Dec 9, 2018
Dec 9, 2018 at 2:33 PM UTC
The Weeping Willow
Is it a boy or a girl? Fixated on the screen with Expectant joy Our bundle of dreams is met with A deafening silence. Bewilderment, and then A dreadful reality of Panic and muffled screams.
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Aug 13, 2018
Aug 13, 2018 at 3:02 PM UTC
The Ultrasound