what if
the world crumbled beneath my feet
and the sun
burned me to ash?
what if
the grass turned yellow
and lifeless,
while the sky fell
all around me?
what if
the oxygen i breathe
escaped my home
and left me gasping
for air?
what if
i lost it all
today?
do you know of my world?
my sun?
my land and sky?
the air i breathe?
my all?
my everything.
he has a name.
it's one of the most
beautiful sounds
my ears have been blessed
to hear.
the galaxy's stars
dance in my eyes
when i gaze upon him.
my heartbeat flutters
and pounds the air
out of my chest
when he calls me
by name.
what if
my home,
my world,
my everything
turned
into nothing?
the thoughts of losing someone
i never thought
i'd come to love
so much
keeps me awake at night.
what if
he left,
here today,
gone tomorrow?
what if
the love we planted
together
died
and dried up,
no salvation,
no remorse,
no more seeds
to plant.
my very soul
would cease to exist
because how do you survive
with absolutely
nothing?
Jun 19, 2025
Jun 19, 2025 at 4:26 PM UTC
i am in love with a man who simply
cannot love me half as much as he says.
otherwise, he wouldn't be able to rip me into little pieces,
slowly and little by little.
the good times,
the boy in him i fell in love with,
who rarely peeks behind
the "man" he's become
are just the strips of tape holding all of me together.
what happens when it runs out?
i'll be left scrambling to pick up all the pieces
blowing away in the wind in his trail
as he leaves.
i'll be left to tape them all together by myself
with the energy and love
i wouldn't have left.
and because of that,
because of him,
they'll never fit the same again.
my life has been full of him.
8 years.
what do you do
with everything that's leftover?
with all the stuff he'd leave in my vacated heart?
memories.
inside jokes.
laughter.
late nights.
gentle touches,
imprints of fingertips on wanting flesh.
the lingering warmth of kisses.
"i love you."
over
and over
and over
i'd keep replaying the sound his voice makes
when those three words come out of his mouth.
the town i've lived in for years
no longer home, but
the tragic remains of a place
that once held our love story.
restaurants,
movie theaters,
bowling alleys,
arcades,
parks,
cars,
streets
no longer,
just torturous reminders
of him and i.
nowhere to look
without seeing his smile
or hearing his laughter.
these memories will never leave,
and they'll never fade.
and i'd just rip apart all over again.
knowing he'd be out there somewhere.
without me.
without us.
and i'll wonder,
how his new world looks in his eyes.
is it bright and safe?
is it quiet and comfortable?
is it better?
i think
the painful answer
would be yes.
because otherwise,
he'd love me the way he says.
he wouldn't keep tearing me apart.
he wouldn't be able to live without me
as i'm unable to live without him.
i imagine him,
in a perfect world,
while i'd tremble in it's upside down,
waiting until i could see the sun again.
and i don't think i would.
Jun 19, 2025
Jun 19, 2025 at 4:18 PM UTC
they rattle and shake
and sometimes,
they break.
theyre smooth and theyre dull
and oh so heavy, they are hard to pull
along
in this temple of ours,
already so full.
emptiness felt
from the absence of these bones
when our body fell apart,
but these were the cards we were dealt.
who knew
that even they fail,
that even those that protected our feelings,
our whole organs,
who bit off more than they could chew,
could stare blankly for eternity at the ceilings?
love was carved into them,
the bones of our past,
and love was what kept our house tiny and warm,
and darling we thought it would last.
but who knew?
that theyd fall,
and slowly,
then all at once...
be buried with our promises and dreams together
and maybe...
maybe even a rose or two.
©️ 2017-2018 CARINA RODRIGUEZ ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Mar 6, 2018
Mar 6, 2018 at 11:01 AM UTC
eyes swollen, eyes red,
and inside, my heart lies dead.
cheeks red, cheeks wet.
this cancer stick hasn't killed me yet.
shirt wet, shirt stained,
shirt stained with the blood and tears from my pain.
wrists stained, wrists marked,
our ¨love story¨ is f*cking tearing me apart.
the map is still marked, the map is right here...
that map was just ripped up out of fear.
you were here, but now you're gone.
i'm sorry for showing up drunk and puking on your lawn.
if im gone, if i left this world tonight,
would i see you again in the afterlife?
parts of my life, parts of my soul,
you still have some; you always made me feel whole.
your letters are drenched, your letters are tore.
your sweet words aren't spoken or written to me anymore.
your clothes are here, your clothes have stayed,
but your scent has gone; i wish it didn't fade.
i don't know why i'm still writing; you'll never read this.
maybe it's because i miss your hands, and your lips.
and your eyes, and that beautiful laugh.
and that smile... you always were my better half.
ashes falling, im inhaling.
before i know it, im on my knees praying.
wailing.
then on my back, laying,
waiting
to see you again.
to hold you again.
im counting to ten.
one.
too many tears, i can't see.
two.
even if it's not true, please tell me you love me.
three.
i can't breathe, what if i pass out?
four.
will you carry me home, and tell me what your dreams are about?
five.
i hope you'd say, ¨always you¨, like you did before.
six.
but that's impossible; you don't love me anymore.
seven.
i should stop counting, im not a thought in your mind.
eight.
but baby, i just can't leave our love behind.
nine.
i know when i open my eyes, you won't be here.
ten.
the pain im feeling from your absence is severe,
and now it's clear.
your voice is all that i hear.
but you're still gone, you'll always be everywhere but here.
and now, just like you,
i wanna disappear for forever, too.
©️ 2017-2018 CARINA RODRIGUEZ ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Feb 28, 2018
Feb 28, 2018 at 11:47 PM UTC