hello friend,
i haven't seen you in a while and i was wondering how you were?
do you still think about me the way i think about you?
hopefully i'll see you soon old friend.
love.
Mar 31, 2019
Mar 31, 2019 at 10:47 PM UTC
sometimes i wonder if there will ever be a day where i can eat a slice of cake and not want to die after.
Mar 11, 2019
Mar 11, 2019 at 11:32 PM UTC
i always have this fleeting feeling deep down, it comes in quiet hours, when i should be sleeping. i’m supposed to be somewhere else than where i am, i just don’t know the name of that place or why the universe wants me there so bad. it’s like i’m constantly running late for the bus or that i’ve been invited to a party but i get none of the details. it’s this nameless phantom that haunts me and pulls me deeper, but i’ll never have a mean of escape. when will i be free of this feeling?
Feb 15, 2019
Feb 15, 2019 at 1:32 PM UTC
it's nighttime and i am laying back in bed.
my pillows are cotton and they rub against my neck as i try to get comfortable. i never really do. i play with the loose thread of my comforter, and wrap it around my finger until the tip turns purple, i wonder for a moment, what would happen if i let the feeling spread until the top of my pointer is useless? suddenly, i hear your favorite song play in my head. it is soft. soft and rolling and it gives me the same feeling as my thread wrapped finger. i feel weightless and useless just like the crimson, shaded pad of my pointer. your song grows louder while everything else grows more quiet. i didn't know it was possible for this amount of silence to exist, it felt as if my skull grew transparent and all my thoughts began floating around the room like tiny lulling clouds. your song is drifting into the ceiling, i hope it floats through and up and up all the way to the moon. then it will settle there amongst the rubble and it will play it's rolling melody for all the stars. maybe they'll all fall asleep and it will be completely dark and completely quiet. the song just grows louder instead, so loud it begins to ring in my ears like a symphony of tiny, little bells. it rises and rises and i wrap the thread tighter and tighter and i squeeze my eyes closed and i beg. i beg for the song to stop, but it just grows louder. the bells reach their crescendo and it's then that i realize that the thread was not wrapped around my finger but my heart, and i was painfully, irrefutably, regrettably in love.
the song finally stopped.
Dec 3, 2018
Dec 3, 2018 at 8:44 PM UTC
*i’ve learned that some
people try to find as
many pieces of themselves
in others as possible.
even if the pieces are
a bit chipped and
they don’t fit exactly right,
they need them to feel whole.
and then there are the
people that seek out
the unattainable pieces,
the ones they know will
never fit, the pieces to a
very different puzzle.
because it gives them
an excuse to remain
alone, pieceless.*
Nov 26, 2018
Nov 26, 2018 at 7:52 AM UTC
*one of the hardest things
i've ever had
to learn is
that you can want
someone so deeply,
and they may not
share the same feeling.
you can believe in them
like a form of religion,
you could wish for them
on every birthday candle
and every eyelash,
you could close your eyes
and imagine their voice
and how their hand
would feel in yours,
you could cry for them
or shout
or fall apart in front of them,
and still,
they wouldn't want you back.*
Nov 14, 2018
Nov 14, 2018 at 6:17 PM UTC
i liked to take the highway home when the weather was warm.
i would roll down all the windows and blast some obscure song by some nameless artist, but i liked it, it made me feel good. i would sing at the top of my lungs and brush the hair that stuck to my face back into my messy ponytail. i would smile as the last licks of the sun cast shadows on my dashboard, and blow past the exit i was supposed to get off at. i felt free on these long stretches of roads, like i could go anywhere and be anybody. nothing felt permanent on the road, nothing was waiting for me, no time was ticking by. i loved it, and i've never loved anything that much.
eventually, i would have to turn around and get off and at each stop light and left turn i felt that freedom diminish. by the time i pulled into my driveway it was gone all together. real life was waiting.
Aug 22, 2018
Aug 22, 2018 at 10:36 PM UTC
*i've listened to your dial tone
over and over again,
so much so,
that it's starting to sound
like i love you*
Nov 21, 2017
Nov 21, 2017 at 11:13 PM UTC
*one time we sat in the car for six hours and went back and forth playing our favorite songs and told eachother things that would be shameful to say to anyone else. i liked talking to you and looking you in the eyes because they were dark brown, almost black, and i could see myself in the reflection of them every time i looked. i think you developed a nicotine habit that night, i think that was the only development either of us made. the windows fogged up and i started sweating but i didn’t tell you to turn the heat down because you liked it warm and i would do anything for you. you told me i broke your heart three times but i told you that you broke mine hundreds of times so i win, but the truth was, that wasn’t much of a victory at all. you asked what it would be like if we dated. if we broke up. if we ****** if we never saw eachother again. if we fell in love. i said all of that would be easy for us and you agreed. that one time i loved you. i loved you with your tired eyes and unwashed hair and same outfit worn three days straight. i loved you for six hours and you loved me. but not actually. you dropped me off at midnight. you got back together with your girlfriend by eight at night the next day.*
Nov 17, 2017
Nov 17, 2017 at 4:20 PM UTC