callmejoe
I'm a biomedical engineer major at Stonybrook University who finds poetry an effective way to vent. I suppose it is relatively odd that as someone who has always found his talents in the logical worlds of math and science, I find my comfort in writing. I admit I may not be that fantastic at it, but it's what I love and has saved me many times.
Blank stares ahead
So unengaged
No thoughts provoked
Make me enraged
Only the vines
They see swinging back
Are traveled and torn
By this cumbersome pack
No one dares question
Is this the best?
Monkey see monkey do
"Well so says the rest"
Can't define their ideals
Politics are chatter
Philosophy's a dead game
Complicated things don't matter
"Nothings black and white"
Yet oblivious to nuance
Forget the golden rule
What matters is my wants
Refusing education
Unsalvageable hypocrisy
These hive minded animals
Undermine our democracy
So extraordinarily capable
So grossly unwilling
These apes don't realize
That it's us that we're killing
Oct 11, 2015
Oct 11, 2015 at 6:23 AM UTC
But
I guess my heart pounding against its cage, and the cold on my cheeks are good reminders that I'm still not invincible, even if my only one weakness is you.
Jan 2, 2015
Jan 2, 2015 at 3:55 AM UTC
Hands up
Body rigid with anticipation
My gut pulls down
Stronger and stronger as I go up
I can see the top
So close but so far
I decided to take a risk
And try my luck at this ride
I inch over the peak
And then I
Fall
Screaming with adrenaline
Impossible not to smile
This was the thrill I sought
My gamble payed off
But then the tracks flatten out
And overcome with disappointment
I realize
It's all already over
All that can happen
When I spend 3 minutes
Talking to you
"My friends can come too"
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 1:01 AM UTC
The night's silence
Drowned by screaming
Where I should see darkness
I see smiles and tears
I'm so tired
But I'm allowed no rest
Just constant torture
From the ghosts of the past
My body may be still
Yet my mind is running
Days, months, years go by
But my clock ticked only once
My heart knocks on my chest
To make sure I don't go
Consciousness
My prison
Nov 24, 2014
Nov 24, 2014 at 5:44 AM UTC
A new set of lips
That curl into a smile
Every time my eyes fall to them
A new pair of eyes
That meet mine
Every time I decide to glance
A new spark
That gives me hope
That maybe I can love again
Yet she seems too nice
The kindness she radiates
Makes me cower
She's too pretty
Her beauty consumes me
Not with awe but with doubt
Just as I was too sure
That the last one was for me
That she was the one
And if that last one
Could fool me with "I love you"
Why would someone new be different?
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 2:30 AM UTC
I used to think it was an emotion
This feeling you got about someone
Much better than happiness
A perpetual state of bliss
Then my world overturned
There's much more I learned
As my emotions grew complex
And myself more perplexed
When your trust is broken
And the relationship is just a token
With love comes jealousy
And hate and pain not ecstasy
As everything they say
Can twist you the wrong way
Yet through all of every game
You love them all the same
This contradictory insanity
Consumed every inch of me
It shook me like thunder
Every night, I'm forced to wonder
After endless thoughts
And countless ideas fought
I came to a conclusion
Not proven, yet well rooted
That love is not a feeling
But a state of being
Where your heart is completely bare
Vulnerable to every tear
She's free to make it sing
To bring joy to everything
Or provoke the darker notes
And life shall don a bitter coat
Aug 11, 2014
Aug 11, 2014 at 11:49 AM UTC
Because after everything you did
All the fights
And all the insults
All the broken promises
And all the lies
All the short retorts
And all the K's
I still love you
Aug 10, 2014
Aug 10, 2014 at 12:55 AM UTC
Like bricks
Your words hit the floor
And with a bang
Lines crawled across the tiles
Small at first
But more jagged with time
Until they met the walls
And then it all disappeared
I was being ****** into darkness
Wind ripping past my head
My shirt beating against my chest
And all stability gone
I flailed as I fell
For what seemed to be an eternity
My body burning up
The pain unbearable
Now head first
I saw a light below me
It grew closer
As the heat exponentiated
And then
Splash
All too instantly
The inferno stopped
And in it's place
A soul chilling cold
The darkness returned
Now suspended in blue
My body refused to listen
As my heart thumped against its cage
Every beat begged and pleaded
Longing for the company of yours
Overcome with despair and loneliness
This was truly hell
Aug 3, 2014
Aug 3, 2014 at 6:37 PM UTC
Today was a day full of nothing
And what a terrible day
To have nothing to distract me
From the acid injected into my heart
Slowly eroding away the happiness
That made my life so bright
Over the past months
Today I sat in my box
Just sighing as I have finally reached
That point of total despair
That point of realization
When I know something won't go well
Why does this bother me so much
I was perfectly fine without her
But that was before we met
Now I know a life with such joy
An unreal bliss where we could
Talk and smile everyday
She said she didn't leave me
She just wants a healthy balance
I was dominating too much of her life
She has other people to take care of
But how much does sitting by me really matter
If your back is turned the entire time
And when I scream about my loss
You ignore it and leave me
To sit in my misery
Who can blame her
I'm depressing when I'm like this
And she has no reason to stay
No reason to let me hear her voice everyday
Or at all really
No matter how much it would mean to me
How much it would remedy
She remains blind to it all
Or she sees it and doesn't care
Or wants me to let it all go
Well when my days are so empty
So lacking of distraction
I get to think about things like this
The things that poison my hopes
And make me afraid of my future
But I manage to make realizations
Such as this: It's all over
She's gone and never coming back
The sighs that I can't help but let escape
As they carry the happy memories
Out into thin air, into nothing
Leave me just as empty
As today itself
Aug 3, 2014
Aug 3, 2014 at 2:12 PM UTC
The happiness is gone
The bliss is nonexistent
And the well of dreams has run dry
What used to make me so happy
Has faded into nothing
As I feel nothing
No pain
No reason to cry
I'm not that hurt
Just a drop of dissapointment
Diluted by the satisfaction of
The "I told you so" directed at myself
My old ups and downs
Have mellowed out into
Complimentary pros and cons
I suppose this was the end
Of something great
But of something awful too
This is what I expected
And shall expect going forward
All my joy gets repaid with pain
The beautiful moon recedes
The tide pacifies
The bipolar night is over
Now I can resume living
Without burdening her scheduale
Not feeding off of her radiating bliss
My night no longer spent
Playing my mental albums of her
No longer filled her lovely smile
My morning's no longer wasted
Wishing the dreams from last night
Could come true
It's funny how love dies
How the process hurts so much
And then your reward is nothingness
There's no way to amend this
Even if one of us wanted to
It's all already over
Aug 2, 2014
Aug 2, 2014 at 11:40 AM UTC