sometimes,
she didn’t understand how the world around her kept on ticking
moments creeping up on her in a plethora of places
perhaps...
she was solitary for too long,
and she noticed how easily she could fade away from all the noise
or maybe she was in a crowded room,
wondering what drove people’s liveliness
how they could talk and smile and joke and laugh and wonder and dream
while she slowly stared off into space,
slipping under into that frighteningly quiet liminal place
living used to come easy
but the effortless way in which she used to forge through life feels rather far away
she longs to once again embody her child-like spirit,
the one in which life held a comforting certainty to it,
and she didn’t question her humanness…
her ability to love others (her endearing parents, her steadfast sister and her deeply compassionate older brother),
her capacity to sing, to dance, to play…
to experience all that life has to offer
she often wonders if her life would be different had she been able
to hold on tight to the ones she grew up with
the close friends she cherished and
believed would accompany her until
it was time for her spirit to rest
maybe her humanity died then,
when she lost contact with the ones who knew her best
when she slowly self-isolated and
broke off her one and only romance,
fearful that she was dead weight
and while all these thoughts swirl around in her head, she notices how everyone around her keeps tick, tick, ticking
following a steady metronome,
capable of remaining present and clear-focused
she longs to once again feel grounded and self-assured;
connected and content
but it’s like trying to wind a clock that’s already forgotten how to tick
or maybe the ticking was never real–
just something we all agree to hear
we all call it “purpose” so it doesn’t sound like fear
Nov 14, 2025
Nov 14, 2025 at 1:46 PM UTC