I’ve tattooed a line across
the veins of my wrist
and marked a down stroke
for every time
“you can’t wear red lipstick”
made me believe
I never wanted to in the first place.
for every time instead
I’ve stained my lips with cherries
learning how to tie the stems
so I can slip forget-me-knots
to the back of your throat—
do you feel my restriction now?
the razors that fly off my tongue
perk thorns on my skin,
another down stroke on my wrist
will teach me that
you were right,
shyness is a virtue.
no need to speak,
go spend one hundred dollars
and some percent for tax
to cover up,
even though I’m sure your mother told you
that cotton stains.
so make it black.
get your hair stuck
in the zipper of that sundress
and pray as you pull it out
that it will lose its pigmentation
in the process
mark a down stroke
for killing two flowers
for one bouquet.
hold it
close your eyes and throw it back,
I know we shouldn’t be wearing white anyway
but tradition can take a lot out of you
like what you really think—
don’t say **** in public.
instead drag your first impressions
all the way to the altar
and dress in your Sunday best
a flower on your lapel
clear on your lips
a stroke for the neat decline
of the son
I tattooed a line across
the veins of my wrist
and marked a down stroke
for every time
my image
was my fault.
May 10, 2015
May 10, 2015 at 3:59 AM UTC
Would you respect my will to leave this mortal coil?
Could you understand your reflection is your foil?
Can you accept the demons as your own?
Accept you are alone,
And atone for your heart of stone?
To find the battle you've fought, hard and strong
Meant nothing in the long run?
You had your fun.
The sun is long gone,
And the one
Thing you had left,
You threw away.
Deal with another day.
There's no way.
You're not okay
Not fine.
Not mine.
So divine.
Nein.
Feb 1, 2015
Feb 1, 2015 at 2:13 AM UTC
Hey guys
Guess what!
I've been drinking since 8 PM yesterday evening
It's going on 4 AM.
Whiskey and watered down, or stale, cola.
And I still don't feel like socking some random
Bystander
In the face.
Right hook
For no reason at all.
In Latrobe
Pistolvania,
Because that's how you prove strength.
That's how you show your dominance.
I guess.
I beg to disagree.
Tunnel vision's setting in. No holding back now.
I don't give a **** who you are.
I don't give a **** what you're made of.
If you're ready to lay hands on
My father,
And my brother,
Know full and well that you just dug your own ******* grave.
I will pull you off of my brother.
I will make you submit.
And you will know "you done goofed"
As you and yours would put it so beautifully.
The man you once respected for holding his own
Is now the man who holds your fate.
Nov 27, 2014
Nov 27, 2014 at 3:59 AM UTC
If that's your mindset, I was wrong all this time
Another year wasted on a careless mind
And I feel fine, yessir, I do
The gallons of tears I wasted on the thought of
You.
Who's to say I'd run and hide
And who's to say I'd care
Who's to say I never tried
When it's
you
Who would never dare?
I spilled my heart out, took over a week
And not once did I reach for a bottle.
I just wanted to show you who I was
Before I had time to pin my throttle
In that short moment I grasped at faith
Believing life will go on
But God wasn't feeling that Good today
And dusk came without a dawn.
Once you have the best in life
There's only degrees of bland
Everything else is mediocre at best
Might as well die on my plot of land
Oct 25, 2014
Oct 25, 2014 at 6:39 AM UTC
Let me:
Drink this beer to forget the taste of your sweet lips, drowning it with a bitter edge.
Smoke this cigarette to replace the air gone at times you took my breath away
while the nicotine becomes my lungs' drug to remove your scent from my system
all these vices to forget and end the life planned with you
Sep 29, 2014
Sep 29, 2014 at 4:08 AM UTC
I stay up all night downing my memories
Drowning my sorrows
Keeping the demons at bay
For one more day
It can always wait until tomorrow
It can wait 'til sunrise to face my enemies
I can plug in
I can overpower the thoughts
I can defeat what drags me to the end
It helps me defend
It kills what I've caught
And its fire wipes away my sin
Temporary
Imprecise
My aim is not true
And I cannot undo
Cannot stop this device
This is all necessary
Stalling
Falling
Calling
Crying
Denying
Dying.
Dead.
Hey
Maybe it's all in my head.
Sep 29, 2014
Sep 29, 2014 at 3:59 AM UTC
Purge your pride,
Purge your rights,
Purge your denial,
Purge your integrity,
Purge your stability,
Purge your innocence,
Purge your virginity,
Purge your anger,
Purge your happiness,
Purge your sorrow,
Purge your doubt,
Purge your past,
Purge your present,
Purge your future,
Purge what you know,
Purge what you don't know,
Purge your mind,
Purge your heart,
Purge your lungs,
Purge your blood,
Purge your beliefs,
Purge your taboos,
Purge your sickness,
Purge your health,
Purge your degrees,
Purge your ignorance,
Purge your racism,
Purge your tolerance,
Purge your love,
Purge your hate,
Purge your indecency,
Purge your modesty,
Purge life,
Purge death,
Purge lucidity,
Purge sobriety,
Purge intoxication,
Purge absolution,
Purge desolation,
Purge.
Purge until you can't purge anymore,
And become perfect in another life.
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 4:54 AM UTC
I want to be angry
to lash out
to punch the wall
to make everyone feel
what i feel
but for some reason
my body won't get angry
my hands won't roll into fists
my attitude won't lash out
and my words speak nothing but kindness
Sep 19, 2014
Sep 19, 2014 at 12:05 AM UTC