you came into my life like the spring,
slowly; I was unsure if you would stay
your warmth thawed my wintry heart
as if I remembered what was hibernating below
your presence revealed the light I was lacking,
and I decided maybe the days were worth living again
Mar 29
Mar 29, 2026 at 10:30 PM UTC
I lost my fourth crow just the other day
It landed here with me but it flew away
I watched it fly south with the rest of my dreams
Then the other two left, leaving one with me
One crow for sorrow, is that what they say?
That one crow flies over my head every day
They say that my fourth crow will come back home
But I really don't see it and I really don't know
'Cause I've been waiting for that fourth crow for as long as I can cope
Waiting on that fourth crow to bring me back my Hope
Waiting, hoping, crying, praying, asking for a way
For God to send my fourth crow to get me through today
The sky is full of clouds and my shoes are full of rain
And my eyes are full of water and my heart is full of pain
The rain is never-ending and the sky is always dark
But I never go in; the rain has left its mark
I lie on my back and watch the storm rage on
And I wish for the sun and for the clouds to be gone
They say that the sky will show a rainbow for me
But that's hard to believe when only clouds I see
'Cause I've been waiting for that rainbow for as long as I can cope
Waiting for the clouds to move and bring me back my Hope
Waiting, hoping, crying, praying, asking for the sun
For God to send a rainbow, for the darkness to be done
Every night I look up at the night sky to see
If maybe there's a star with a message for me
But my night sky is black, not a star in sight
Not a single point of reference or a single pin of light
Do the stars still exist when their lights don't show?
If I can't see them, can I really truly know?
They say that the stars are up there, shining bright
But I don't think that's true when I look at the night
'Cause I've been waiting for a star-filled night for as long as I can cope
Waiting for the light to shine and bring me back my Hope
Waiting, hoping, crying, praying, asking for a light
For God to let the stars shine down to get me through tonight
'Cause I've been waiting for a sign out there, to show me it's alright
For a fourth crow, a rainbow, or a cloudless, star-filled night
Waiting, hoping, crying, praying, asking for a way
For God to give me a reason to get me through today
Jan 26
Jan 26, 2026 at 4:23 PM UTC
who would've thought that I'd make it to 22
that my fire never extinguished after all those years of rain
my seven-year-old self would be glad to see she was preserved
who would've thought that the one I dreamed about for six years
now sleeps in my bed at night, and calls me his wife
my 11-year-old-self would never believe it
who would've thought that, somewhere along the line,
I made friends who care for me and I them
my 13-year-old self would be relieved
who would've thought that my heart became soft again
and I learned to let myself cry, and feel
my 15-year-old self might just smile
who would've thought that I made it out of my hometown,
traveled the world on my own, and decided to come back
my 18-year-old self would be astounded
who would've thought that I became a teacher
and I don't fear my calling anymore
my 19-year-old self would laugh in disbelief
who would've thought that, despite all the years of isolation,
dissociation, fear, and heartache, I emerged still me
who would've thought?
not me
Aug 23, 2024
Aug 23, 2024 at 9:38 AM UTC
15 years later, and we came back
the same creaking door announced our arrival
wood paneling and deer antlers seemed to remember us
the same way we started to remember them
six bunk beds and wooden shelves
where I used to put my radio and listen at night
the same key chains hanging from the light strings
we sat at the same wooden table
and put together that circular puzzle that has never left my mind
we went to the river and ran in bare feet
with the same fear of snakes as we did way back then
we sat 17 around the table and ate supper
and did the dishes with boiling water
we played Dutch blitz and card games
and always took someone else with us to the outhouse
we pumped that same water out of the same red pump
and the water had black flecks like it always used to
we all lined up and jumped off the rock in the same order as always
"my name is Bethany and I'm 22"
we hopped in the truck bed and went deer spotting at night
and remembered why we were scared of bears
and I remembered how much I miss being around my sisters
I slept on the top bunk with my sister
and she didn't stick her legs under my back like she always did
we climbed up to the fire tower
and rubbed leaves on our yellow jacket stings
I wish there was a natural remedy for nostalgia
when we left, they ran to the road to say goodbye
like they always did before
and my heart felt like some of it didn't leave with me
it took 15 years, but I came back
Jul 18, 2024
Jul 18, 2024 at 9:45 AM UTC
If I didn't value you in your life
Is it worth honoring you in your death?
I didn't care to see you
And now I won't
And I never missed you
But now I will
Why am I so stupid?
They're distressed
So am I
We're all suffering
Except you
Not anymore
You could probably beat all of us in a race right now
I never said goodbye
Dec 2, 2019
Dec 2, 2019 at 12:35 PM UTC
I still want to be alone
My grandfather is still dead
But now I'm not cold
I went inside
Now my face is hot
And my tears burn my checks
And my blood is boiling
Why did he have to die?
Dec 2, 2019
Dec 2, 2019 at 12:29 PM UTC
"I wanna be alone"
I whisper to myself
As my voice echos
In this empty space
My breath makes a cloud
And my body shakes
The tears on my face freeze
My grandfather is dead
Dec 2, 2019
Dec 2, 2019 at 11:42 AM UTC
I haven't written a poem
In 10 months, almost
Which is the same amount of time
We've been dating
And in the past 10 months
I've learned a lot
I learned to show emotions
And to cry
I learned the joy of having a person
To love and to love me
And I also learned the complete and utter pain
Of constant distance
I learned to not fear companionship
Or intimacy
And I realized how much it hurts
To miss those things
So these past 10 months
Grew me
I was handed my greatest dream
And biggest fear
Nov 5, 2019
Nov 5, 2019 at 10:54 PM UTC
I haven't written a poem
In a very, very long time.
Oct 29, 2019
Oct 29, 2019 at 9:56 AM UTC
My greatest fear, I've just now found
Is not of snakes or dark
It's not of even ghosts or death
Or of pain that leaves a mark
My greatest fear occurred to me
While I was out with friends
They wanted to go out to eat
But my curfew made that end
They said they might go anyway
For time was fading fast
It stuck me then, just standing there:
My fear, I saw at last
My fear is not of hurt or pain
It's not of lonely sorrow
My fear is getting left behind
While the world goes to tomorrow
Jan 24, 2019
Jan 24, 2019 at 9:41 PM UTC